The Insane Heart

a tribute to "A Tale Tell Heart"

The Insane Heart

 

Bound!!!  Left to my wits!!! The sanity of my crime is brought to bare. My mind in anguish of what I have done. People stand in witness against me as the gavel falls, as my life’s reason is no longer clear. The old man has been desecrated and dishonored. Am I mad?  I,  surly am not. But here I am, bound and disgraced. Thrown away forever with my thoughts forgotten, my actions not remembered or revered as it was a wise plan. I’ve been marked insane by those who have judged me! Within these padded walls I now lay my head, in misery and despair with the sounds and thoughts of that dam beating heart. The shrieks of the old man drive me to think of what could have been, then what had transpired.

                Just as I begin to wander off, at the door, a rising chatter, an anticipation of human contact. One looks in as I sit in the corner of this dull white room, windowless and foreboding. The air stale with decay of its previous tenant, again I wander, thinking of a better time and then, a sound at the door. A jangle of keys, as the door begins to open to a man, a tall and brooding man with a white coat. He rushes thru thinking that I may escape if he does not come in quickly. I stare at his shoes never to look at his face, when I hear a deep musky voice say; “How do you feel today?” And I responded in pure disgust, “I would rather be in the local pub having a glass of whiskey!”

                He begins to speak with me, as I wander off again into myself. I begin to think, what if I killed this man standing before me?  How would I do it? Could I tear his flesh apart with my bare hands? You may fancy me a madman, I fear not, I am to wise to be a madman. A madman is insane with no heart. I on the other hand have a great, passionate heart. I love the arts, great literature, and the best paintings in the world. My passion runs deep like a raging river cresting into a wild untamed whirlpool, the essence of what I am is my heart. But yet I am labeled a madman… A madman!

                My senses told me to look upon his face but my brain told me not to for I would be disappointed. His voice echoing within these walls are beginning to pierce my mind with thoughts of what I have done. He asks why would I do what I did, my mind stops and slowly I begin raise my head till my eyes meet his and then, Oh no, not that, please not that again, I see it, that dammed eye is back, to torment me to my miserable death. I look away quickly as I hoped the eye would not see right through me, of my fear that it would came back to have its revenge upon me. I slump into myself not to look at him again; I turn to get away from the pale evil eye.

                The man realizes that there is nothing more he can do with me today so he wishes me a good night’s sleep, but that is far from what will happen now for that eye is here to give me pain, to inflict as much misery and torment within my soul, the unbearable agony that I must now endure till our next meeting. My sleep is restless, my thoughts are unsettled. I begin to think of ways I must protect myself from this malevolent eye, and it hits me, an idea,  a genius idea, they thought me mad, they have mocked me for my disbelief in morality, but I will show them, I am not mad. I start to gnaw at my straps, like a rabid animal, stuck, looking at its prey that it cannot get to. It took some time but after a while they begin to loosen to a point that I can remove these archaic binds and free myself for the struggle that will come from that hatful eye. But I must be restrained, I must bide my time and wait for the right time to strike the eye down and bring it to its ruin. I am soundless and still waiting for its return which will not be long now, I sense it near waiting to see me suffer, but I have it fooled I tell you, and they call me mad! We will see who is mad!

                Motionless, sitting still in the corner of this padded white room, so ghastly is this room you would think it to be cruel for a man to lay his head down in it. My heart is racing for the anticipation of the final meeting with that dreadful eye. From darkness comes the light, morning has arrived and I did not sleep a little, not even a wink. The light in the room flickers on in a bothersome fashion, I am exhausted from my tortuous night, and I sit still, waiting for that dammed eye. I go over in head the plan for my next encounter, its genius plan, a plan worthy of remembrance. But it does not matter a bit, for they will still call me mad!

                The time has come, my heart is beating profusely, my thoughts are racing, waiting, and I fear its horrific gaze on me. I sit still waiting, a long wait. But then, again, I hear chatter at the door, just like before, a jangle of key getting ready to open that big white door. Through the door he comes, the man from the day before. The brooding man with the white coat again is back with his musky voice he says, “Good Morning” and I respond in kind. Surprised at my sudden response he is pleased and asks if I’m ready to speak about my crime. I said “I have done no crime, for the eye is evil and it should have been gone from this Earth, but yet, it still lives”. The man confused asks “what eye”. “The eye that you carry in your head, it looks at me with intent, dull and pale it is evil and should be put to rest”. Just as I say that I make my strike. I attack the man and bind his hand with my broken straps that I gnawed at all night. I hear a distress from outside the door but it is too late. I am above my prey looking into that evil site, the evil and dangerous eye, I final have you and you must die once and for all, I will send you to hell, it is where you belong. I lean over and stick my hands into his eyes, the man screams in agony, but fret not, I say to him, the evil will be purged and you will thank me for it later. As I pull the eye out of his head I begin to feel the joy of victory, for I have beaten the evil that has plagued me this passed night. I hear at the door a pounding, a vigorous pounding as though something has gone wrong. As they break through they attack me and I say “I am not mad I have finally destroyed the evil, I am not mad” but they do not understand, they think me mad and there is no changing that!   

Author's Note

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