Let me

A Poem by dylan zacharia

It’s 1am
I’m 13 years old,
at a sleepover with a friend who’s talking,
talking,
talking over the sound of my sweet slumber,
which I am yet to be embraced by.
God d****t let me sleep

It’s 2am
I’m 14 years old,
and I’m reading a book,
engulfed by its majesty;
my minuscule thoughts are triumphed by the turn of a page
of a page
The words like art on a bathroom tile,
The colour of madness to concrete jungles
Crayola to government and rules.
God d****t let me sleep

It’s 3am
I’m 15 years old,
I’m up thinking about you
and how beautiful you are
and how your lips taste for the first time
And how beautiful you are
And how beautiful you are
are you beautiful?
how? And are you beautiful?
Your kaleidoscope of eyelashes and freckles daze and dazzle
and dumbfound
And How?
God d****t let me sleep

It’s 4am
I’m 16 years old,
I’m up thinking about you
and how beautiful you are
were to me
How your lips tasted
and hung so desperately onto mine until they weren’t sticky
and cherry and the kaleidoscope stopped spinning
Shining
And how beautiful you
Beautiful you
F*****g Beautiful You.
God d****t let me sleep

It’s 5am
I’m 17 years old
And I’m using paper cuts and cracked spines
tea(r) stained pages of
Old stories
26 letters, everywhere, for you
And other people’s nightmares to escape from my own
To escape
run, run.
God d****t let me sleep

It’s 6am
I’m 18
Drunk in my freedom
or is it
Shots of whiskey
A cigarette maybe
3
Boys and girls
And a line
Everywhere, bodies upon bodies
Breath just music not voice
And a line
And a line
Walk with me in the cold heavy morning, the stale stench stuck to us
like demons screaming for our affection,
wrapping frail arms too tightly around our hearts
And a line
And a line
And a line.
God d****t let me sleep

It’s 7am
I’m 19, 20, 47, 12
Does it matter?
The sun is up like time
for me
you weren’t strong
But I wasn’t either until
a pill
maybe 6
23 I don’t know
Will the numbness bore feeling through placebo
or through the inevitability of what I will leave
behind
Scattered like a s h e s
It oozes out of me like blood from my wrists
and tears from the ducts that encase marbles shining, shining
Moments gathering
Thoughts, Feelings fathoming
Distance is great
greater than I ever was
Ever will or can now be.