For Me

I will live for me.
Not for you.
For me.
I will breathe.
For me,
I will be living happily.

I was thinking of this little song,
Which is for me and not for you,
Because you do not belong.
In my life you caused real strife.
That is why this isn't for you.
This is for me.

I will live for me.
Not for you.
For me.
I will breathe.
For me,
I will be living happily.

As I live my life,
It will be for myself,
Since this little song is for me,
Not for you.
It's not like I love you.

I will live for me.
Not for you.
For me.
I will breathe.
For me,
I will be living happily.

My depression rises,
As I think of you.
Because I'm living for me,
Not for you,
I don't know why you keep asking me,
To care for you,
When you don't even care for me.

I will live for me.
Not for you.
For me.
I will breathe.
For me,
I will be living happily.

Author's Note

Hope you enjoy. Not my best, but I think it's okay.

Reviews

[Ed Rector]

its an alright piece... i personally would like to see it without all the "for me" and "not for you" words in it, i think it would flow much better. - Ed..

[rielovella]

Even though you repeated a stanza, I really liked this poem. Good job!

[NoAirToBreatheXSuffocat..]

powerful and strong, amazing!

[PaperHearts]

This was quite a powerful write! I liked the directness of your poem, and the fact that the emotions that you expressed seemed so raw and so real. I did think that the stanza with the shorter lines was better than the stanzas with the longer lines...I'm not sure. There was just something about the way the lines flowed and rhymed that made it seem a little awkward or forced. But I liked the idea, and I liked the strength behind your words too. :)
~PaperHearts

[Parker Pearl]

a little repetitive. the short bits are nice, the choppy lines felt like little gasps. the longer lines that varied throughout sort of spewed a more contrived lack of wordplay. not bad, dig a little deeper, think about your word choice.

[The Water Queen]

This is a pretty good poem. Flow seems a little off to me, but i am no expert in poems and most of mine do not flow. This shows the independence of the writer towards the target in the poem. Great job.

[AJChallenger]

It may not be your best, but it's good. I really don't have to much to say other than that.

**NOTE. My policy on reviews has changed. I will be happy to review on or two pieces of work, but will do no more without compensation. People are payed to do this kind of thing, don't think you'll get free editing from me.

[Stammers]

I think this is something to come back to.

I like the plainness of the language though - a very simplified, direct, almost child-like feel to the tone. This adds, along with the message of discovering the worth of yourself again, to the suggestion maybe this partner was a little 'dominant'. Many layers you could peel back in this, I hope you come back to build on it.

[JenLyn]

A great write keep it up! :)

[Luna Northstar]

I really like this. I sometimes feel like I am living for other people. Its not good. Then you lose yourself. I refuse to live for anyone else no. I live for myself. I really love this poem, nice write.