Cut Open and Torn Apart

On the outside I seem okay.
On the inside it feels like I'm dead even though I'm alive.
By everyone that knows me.
Other days I feel like I am the happiest person on the planet.
I can call that a lie.

I am cut open and torn apart.
Your words can't help.
Your actions won't work.
It is all because I am cut open and torn apart.

Through all of the fake smiles.
All of the fake laughs.
I'm faking everything just to get away from you.
Not that I don't love you.
I really do it's just that I feel hurt on the inside.

I am cut open and torn apart.
Your words can't help.
Your actions won't work.
It is all because I am cut open and torn apart.

I don't know what I did.
I don't know how it happened.
The reason that I am hurt on the inside.
But I can say that I don't like it.

I am cut open and torn apart.
Your words can't help.
Your actions won't work.
It is all because I am cut open and torn apart.

Author's Note

I guess it is a song more than a poem, but oh well just tell me what you think.

Reviews

[Maria F. Rojas]

yeah, you can fool people thinking you are a happy person. Only person that knows for real is yourself and you have to deal with the feelings you have been through each day til you move on then there is nothing left to lie with yourself. Painful but not a bad song. Keep up. :)

[Kaitlyn]

Reading this I remember all the times I've felt this way myself... I applaud you for posting this and think you have what could be a great song here. Keep writing and know that time doesn't heal all wounds, but eventually you find some one with Band-Aids. . . I have, and you will too.

[r]

I love this poem, and you're right it is more of a song, lol. I love the repetition and it's a wonderfully written poem. Dark in a way of sorrow, but awesome. It would've been nice for some depth added to it, but it's good the way it is. xD

[PaperHearts]

This was a really touching write. It seemed like you had put a lot of yourself into this piece, and in that sense, I seriously admire your honesty and courage. I thought that this was a well-written poem, full of tension and struggle. The repetition worked really effectively, and although there were moments where I wanted you to go deeper, overall I thought that this was a great write. :)
~PaperHearts

[Marlena]

hmmm..okay, I like the message but I feel like this is a rough draft. I think you could add a bit more detail, being honest does wonders for writing but if you add imagery you can really really get your message out. Good start though :)

[Luna Northstar]

Emotional, very nice job. Either you really thought this through or you wrote from the heart, either way, I love it.

[Indecisive and Loving I..]

This was lovely! I loved the repeated stanza, it really gives emphasis to the central idea of the poem.
I know exactly how you feel... I've had this feeling many times :) It royally sucks, but hey, that's life! Most things you just have to grin and bear.
Great write, I loved it!

[deeps]

I am cut open and torn apart.
Your words can't help.
Your actions won't work.
It is all because I am cut open and torn apart.

Love these words here,
This is an emotional write, but very well written.

[Clemmy]

it is a poem to me and the words are just exact if you know what I mean. Your depression, stop focusing on a lot of negatives, you are a great writer and singer I bet too though I havent heard you sing...great stuff

[Moth Phoenix]

It's a great song hun!!
Very powerful i enjoyed it! sorry it took so long.