This Isn't Worth It

This is about my exs. Except for the beginning....

This isn't worth it.

It is wasting my time.

This isn't worth it.

The fights and the lies.

You always bring up things that aren't important.

This isn't worth it.

The punching and smacking.

The hitting and kicking.

This isn't worth it.

People don't know what to do.

Do they know anything about me?

Or do they start talking before they know me?

This isn't worth it.

Nothing ever is important as people say it is.

 

This isn't worth it. 

The pain and hurt.

It is all because of your lies.

The ones you told me.

Before we split up.

Before we even started dating.

You never liked me from the beginning.

Why would you lie?

It wasn't worth going out with me you said.

Why would you say that?

Then ask me out again a few days after we broke up.

Did you really want me?

I really don't believe that you do.

I've always wondered that but,

This isn't worth it.

I don't really like the way you made me feel unimportant.

I don't think you ever cared.

Dating you wasn't worth it.

Nothing was worth it.

Everything you said had to do with me.

You didn't even like me.

This isn't worth it.

All the pain I ever felt was because of you.

It was never my fault.

I never had done anything.

Why did you hit me?

It wasn't worth it.

I had never done anything.

I was always there for you. 

This wasn't worth it.

You cheated on me.

I still stayed with you because I trusted you.

That was not something I should have done.
It wasn't worth it.

I should have left you when I found out.

I couldn't even get in touch with you.

You ignored every call.

You told me it was because you were grounded.

But were you lying?

I think you were.

It wasn't worth it.

I was there for you when you needed me.

You weren't there for me.

This wasn't worth it because you were my first but,

You weren't my last.

 

This wasn't worth it.

Dating you.

I was with you for a year and a half.

You left me for someone else.

This wasn't worth it.

I know you were going to college but,

You didn't have to end it like that.

The letter you sent me.

I didn't even want to leave you.

This wasn't worth it.

The letter was painful.

I didn't even know you wanted to leave me.

This wasn't worth it.

You brought me to the prom.

We had the time of our lives.

Then you ended it.

This wasn't worth it.

The year and a half I wasted on you.

I loved you more than my first.

You were my second.

This wasn't worth it.

All the happiness then brought on my pain.

I didn't know you were like that.

I thought you were different but,

You never were different.

This was my mistake.

This wasn't worth it.

Now you are out of my life,

But you weren't the last.

 

This wasn't worth it.

The third person I dated.

I loved you too.

You told me so many times.

This wasn't worth it.

All the times we went out.

We went out more than once.

This wasn't worth it.

How many times did you call me beautiful?

About a million.

I hear you still talk about me.

I don't know why.

Do you still love me?

It wasn't worth it.

We never fought until the end.

We still talk but,

We still talk like we are dating.

We are broken up but,

You always come back for me.

This wasn't worth it.

I didn't like it when we fought.

We fought every once in while.

It was like with my first boyfriend.

Though I never fought with my second but,

It wasn't worth it.

We will probably never date again.

Though it seems like we should.

I confide in you as a friend.

At least we can do that.

This isn't worth it.

That we don't always get along.

You have your attitude.

I have mine but,

We can get it all the time.

On to my last and final.

 

This wasn't worth it.

You were my fourth.

You seemed to be really nice.

When we met I couldn't wait to get to know you.

This wasn't worth it.

When you tricked me into kissing you.

You made me smile when we met.

This wasn't worth it.

Our first date was fun.

It was great but,

You got mad after it.

I know it was because of my friends.

This wasn't worth it.

I know you were angry about what my friends had done to you.

I know they tricked you.

You got mad and yelled at me.
I couldn't even talk to you after that.

This wasn't worth it.

You worried a lot about me but,

We didn't last too long.

It was after a month and a half but,

That was because you accused me of cheating.

I was down in South Carolina visiting my grandparents.

Why did you think I would cheat on you?

That wasn't worth it.

I would never hurt you like that.

I know you couldn't handle me when I was gone.

Well I know you were happy when we were together.

I know that it hurts now.

This wasn't worth it.

When you told me you wanted to marry me.

I wanted to marry you too but,

I was to young to get married.

I was sixteen and a half year's old.

You told me you would wait until I was nineteen.

You told me you would get a diamond ring.

This wasn't worth it.

Then you told me you wanted to leave me to fight in the war.

You had been in the hospital a few days before you told me.

Did you know how much I cried for you there?

I was really upset.

My friend couldn't even calm me down.

This isn't worth it.

I'm done with it.

I loved you but,

You accused me.

I didn't do anything.

It wasn't worth it.

That you didn't believe me.

You should have.

 

This wasn't worth it.

It won't ever be again.

Until I find the right one.

This isn't worth it.

 

 

Author's Note

This is about all of my exs. It is very long, but I hope you like it. The first part is just a whole bunch of things. The one about my first ex there is a line that says Why did you hit me. He never hit me. so don't get any ideas.

Reviews

[Vin]

I really enjoyed this. The anger throughout it was great and you described the events really well. The only thing I found wrong with it is the length. Halfway through I almost gaver up reading it. I'm not saying here that long poems aren't good, because this was really was. But I'd suggest trying not to take it too far. Just a suggestion though, I'm not trying to be overly mean :(.
Good job though, I enjoyed reading it :) Thanks for sharing.

-Beth

[Hailey]

ur right, he shouldnt have accused u cause trust is important, if u cant trust the person ur with it will never work out...
just dont give up, very rarely do relationships work out when ur sixteen or younger
i really felt the emotion in this one, very impressive cause only very few people can wirte such a long poem and still have it filled with content and emotion..
good job on this one, i liked it a lot

[Eidolon Michael]

Wow...that....that was very emotional. I really feel like crying after reading it, cuz it's like I was just able to see into your heart and see all the pain you've felt in your life from these people that had meant(or maybe even still do) something to you...really amazing and beautiful. I enjoyed reading this very much :-)
P.S. You're completely right about that last part. It won't be worth it until you find that one person who's perfect for you. And I must say, any guy would be lucky to have an amazing, expressive person like you :-)

[Eric Cox]

It's awful how those relationships turned out to not be worth it. Great poem.

[JenLyn]

Wow really long, it takes a lot of attention to read it.

[Sam Severn]

Written with incredibly deep, deep, deep-down feelings, from a well of super-emotion n' pain n' hurt n' heartache...and yet, by the time I get to the end, when you say "Until I find the right one," and suddenly I bust out a smile n' get a ray of hope! Powerful stuff, Angela! ㋡

[Thomas Fleet]

Amazing work! :]
It is very long, but well worth the read.
So emotional.
Thank you for sharing! :D

[Anonymous]

A beautiful piece... outstanding, my dear. So much emotion. I hope you'll find a boy who doesn't betray you or makes you hurt any way. I'm sure there is one out there for you.
Excellent work.

[Luna Northstar]

wow..... that was beautiful...