Remember Me

When I drown in my own tears,
I hope you remember me.
When I build my own fire to destroy my own body,
I hope you remember me.
When blood is dripping from my body,
I hope you remember me.
When I fly up into a tornado and am thrown from it,
I hope you remember me.
I hope when you are older you still remember what I was like.
I hope when you grow up you will not be as sad.
Just try to remember me the best way you can.
The impossible can happen.
You will never know.
So just remember me.
I know it will hurt,
But remember me.
All the good times we shared.
Just remember I'm the one who built you.
Remember me when I'm gone.
I did love you,
But I was the one who died for you.
I took the bullet for you.
Remember me because I saved your life.
You would have died if I hadn't saved you.
I hope you remember me,
Because if you die I will remember you.

Author's Note

What do you think? Reviews.

Reviews

[A LaDy NaMeD D]

This is interesting, and something i would tell my friends. Because i would take a bullet for them and i'd hope they would take one from me.

I like how you started of with i hope you remember me after every statement and then start with i hope you remember me when...and then stop...and wait until the last line to said i hope you will remember me, because i will remember you.

This is a good poem. You do have one typo "When blood is dripping for my body." I think it's supposed to be "When blood is dripping from my body."

[Nik Dendera]

Excellent piece.

You've got the heartfelt tragedy, the raw emotions. I like the ending, very bittersweet.

Really well done without being too dramatic.

[smiley:)]

This is self sacrificing, I love it. Something that the whole world lacks, sacrafice.

Feel free to check some of my stuff out,
Smiley :)

[Kristen]

Love love love this! The flow is great and the constant repetition of the word "remember" gives it a steady rhythm. Great write!

- S.T.

[Kia-chan!]

Very deep poem. LOVE IT!

[Dev]

Hmm... I wish someone remembers me :P If not, then thats too bad.. I'm sure I'll be wrecking havoc in heaven or something .. haha
Really nice :)

[Abhinav]

sad, sweet and lovely poem, just want to say that the repetition of lines irked me a bit, but still, doesn't affect the contents of the poem
good job:)))

Abby

[JenLyn]

It's interesting and true, I know I'd take a bullet for my friends and they'd do the same for me. There is a bit of a problem with the flow but that's easy to fix. Overall nice write. Keep it up! :)

[Holly-Marie]

This was wonderful.
It flowed brilliantly and was so full of emotion.
Very touching and extremely powerful, I thought.
The last two lines really drove the point home. Brilliant.

[Manda]

awww this was so sad! i was crying, yes but thats what happens when you read an awesome poem! the flow and grammar was excellent. i have one little thing though. the fourth to last line when it was saying "You would have died if I didn't save you." It should be saved. lol. I really did enjoy this I could really feel the emotion and hope in this piece! nicely done!

[HorrorMaster]

very good, Your poems make me want to hug you. :)