Blamed-Prologue

Prologue

   “Get out of here! You're not wanted! It was all your fault that your older brother passed away! I never wanted you! You caused our family pain! Just go away,” the woman shouted at her four year old son. He didn't know what she meant by get out of here. He just tried to touch his mommy's shoulder. She kept pulling away from him.

   “M-Mommy,” he said trying to reach out for her again. She slapped his hand away and he started to cry. His mother then calmed down. She grabbed him into her arms and rocked him. Trying to calm him down. In her mind, still thoughts of him were racing. 

    “Mommy's sorry, honey. I'm so sorry,” his mother said crying. He cried more because she was crying. She tried to calm him down. His mother held him until he fell asleep. She put him in bed and went into her room.

     When she entered she punched the wall. Tears started to fall onto her hand. A thousand thoughts running through her head. “Why didn't I watch them? It's not his fault...but why do I still blame him? It's my fault. I let them go out of their own...now he's gone. Forever...never to return. I'm sorry, honey. I truly am. Please forgive me.”

    Her husband entered the room, with a bouquet of flowers, and chocolate in hand. She was crying and he ran to her side. He bent down beside her to touch her shoulder. Just like before, she pulled away from him too. “Honey, what's wrong?”

     “I said awful things to him...our son. He didn't even know what I was saying, but I made him feel as bad as I did for losing him. It was my fault for what happened. I can't blame our only child...but if he hadn't crawled out into the street that day...he would still be here. He would still be living in the house with us, but it's all his fault,” his mother said breaking down.

    “Honey, I never told you this, but I blame him too, but he was only two years old. He didn't know that crawling out into the street was dangerous. His brother pushed him out of the car's way. He wanted to save the little brother that he loved,” he said trying to comfort his wife.

    “Still I should have been outside keeping my eyes on them. He wouldn't have crawled out into the street. His brother would not have gotten hit. They were both too little to be outside,” she said. He grabbed her into his arms and kissed her passionately.

    “I know, honey, but, regardless of what happened, I still love you,” his father said. He held her gently until she calmed down. 

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think.

Reviews

[Pratik Mishra]

Wow. Very nice. Will read more. :)

[Silent Wolf]

That's sad, but it makes me want to read more.

[Angie Diane♥♥]

Thank you for reading! I haven't thought about this book in a while o.o lol

[Silent Wolf]

I was trying to start a book kind of similar called "Hit Me (I dare you)" Only the main character is a girl.

[Angie Diane♥♥]

Ahh! You should do it. :)

[Silent Wolf]

I've just been having trouble figuring out how to start it.

[Angie Diane♥♥]

Ahh, I know what you mean.

[Silent Wolf]

Yeah. I would tell you the story, but... this is public. Maybe in a personal message.

[Angie Diane♥♥]

Yeah, you can message me if you want :)

[Silent Wolf]

In a few minutes. Trying to get caught up...

[Angie Diane♥♥]

That's fine lol I'm reading chapter 2 of Dolly~

[InsanityWriter]

Interesting. :) I'll definitely keep reading!! ^_^

[Angie Diane♥♥]

Thank you :)

[Death Girl]

wow this is amazing i love it.

[Angie Diane♥♥]

Thank you for your review. :)

[Lassian Willow]

I think is a good start to the book and it is really interesting. commas could be used a bit more but i think this is a great effort

[Angie Diane♥♥]

Thank you for the review.

[Lassian Willow]

That's ok

[Taylor H.]

In her mindstill thoughts of him were racing. ------In her mind, still thoughts of him were racing

thats all I saw :) great beginning :)

[Angie Diane♥♥]

Thank you for the review. :D

[Taylor H.]

welcome :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good opening chapter. Had a sad tone to situation and the characters. I like the description and the discussion. Had feel of real life. Thank you for sharing the excellent opening chapter.
Coyote

[Angie Diane♥♥]

Thank you :)

[DarkRainbowPie]

I think you have an interesting story line going here :D There's a few mistakes though and I'd recommend changing the ending.

''Still in her mind thinking of him.'' - That should really be something like ''She was still thinking of HIM'' or ''HE was still on her mind'' :)

''His mother held him until she fell asleep. She put him in her bed and went into her room.'' - I think you got confused here, this should be ''His mother held him until HE fell asleep. She put him in HIS bed and went to her room.'' :)

'' A thousand thought's running through her head.'' - That should just be 'thoughts' :)

''He grabbed her into his arms and kissed her passionately.'' - I think he should be more gentle her, after all, she IS upset.

''When she did he rolled on top of her as they kissed more passionately. She knew he was going to make her feel great that night. No matter how sad she was.'' - I don't think this should be in the story, you should just end it at '' “I know, honey, but regardless of what happened I still love you,” his father said. He held her gently until she calmed down. '' seen as it ends with her being upset, not horny, you know? Haha, 'cause the current ending just makes her husband sound like an insensitive horny a*****e :P I'm guessing you included the part of them having sex because she's going to end up pregnant and have another child, but your ending makes that way to obvious, leave some surprise for the reader so the story isn't predictable :)

Lastly, there's a lot of commas missing, just read it over again and you'll probably see yourself where there should be commas :)



All in all, though, I like the story you have, and best of luck with it :D

[Angie Diane♥♥]

She isn't having another child...thank you for your review.

[DarkRainbowPie]

Oh, okay then, just a guess :)

[Angie Diane♥♥]

I know it's cool :)