DREAM - The Toilet Fairy
One very busy and detailed dream I had last night
© March 2023 Written by David Wicker
Please do not reprint without permission
I suppose having a previous dinner of tinned sardines topped off with a scoop of coffee-flavored ice-cream washed down with orange juice is probably not the most conducive food to a good night's sleep.
In any case, I had this very strange and elaborate dream.
Now at the moment I am really getting back into programming in Blitz. Like Pico-8 though once I finally get a foothold in there, I'll pause and WILL return to Dream Diary.
I know you guys got a real kick out of that years ago and you'll be happy to know that I've recorded and backed up over 400 new dreams in addition to the 100+ that were added on the audio recorder. It's just a matter of getting them all written out now.
But for now, let's deal with this rather strange and interesting dream. It all took place in a fast food restaurant we know and love (and no that is not McDonald's), however they may not be too happy about this story highlighting their establishment.
So for now let's call it, "McGriddles" and I'll add dialogue description where appropriate.
. . .
It all started out with my Dad and me going to this new fast food restaurant called, "McGriddles." Their slogan was, "Breakfast Or Lunch ? Yes." I think I was in my 20s in the dream.
As we entered there were two people seated near the men's room already having their lunch. I nodded as we entered.
My Dad had just ordered what he wanted and as I got to the cashier, it was a florid-faced teenager. He had the start of acne on his face and immediately asked, "Would you like to try our special today ?"
I was lost in reading the onboard menu and nodded. Finally correcting myself, saying, "No. What's in it ?"
He read off a script. "Two fresh all-beef patties of charbroiled Angus steak sandwiched between two homemade buttermilk pancakes dripping with sweet maple syrup and spicy brown mustard."
"Bleagh." I said clearly disgusted at the combination. And he smiled at me when he realized I was actually showing my distaste for the item.
"I beg your pardon ?" he said.
I replied, "Oh, umm, yeah, that'd be fine. Just - leave off the mustard, would you ?"
"No mustard ?" he asked like it was clearly a requirement for this menu disaster.
"No mustard." I was certain.
"Really ?" He pressed.
I grimaced, "Really really ! No mustard. Can it be done !?"
He muttered, "Yeah, it can be done. It'll ruin it. Whatever." Then he yelled back, "Two cows, flaps, and a maple, hold the mustard !"
Even the cook yelled back, "No spicy brown mustard ? It'll ruin it !"
He didn't bother to reply and got back to me. "That comes with a drink and fries. What would you like to drink ?"
"Sweet tea, please."
"Okay with the drink and fires That'll be $11.00 even."
I reached in my pocket and found I didn't have my wallet, but I DID have two $5 bills and two $1 bills. Now right there that should've told me I was dreaming as I never forget my wallet. But it was so vivid - so REAL - I just accepted it.
I empted my pocket to give him the money, holding the $1. I checked my other pocket and it too was empty.
I didn't have long to wait. "Order up !" he yelled although I was already there.
"Oh, your order, sir." and he handed the tray to me.
On it was the double-meat burger, the pancakes between it with maple syrup and many packets of spicy mustard beside it.
"Thanks."
I went to sit by Dad and the first thing I showed him was that I only had $1 left. He asked about my other pocket but I showed him it was empty.
He agreed the food was pretty expensive but it should taste alright.
We then talked a bit about seeding random numbers for clouds in the sky instead of actually seeding clouds. :)
Would they create recognizable images ? Would that in fact be a type of seeded Rorschach that could be used to analyze psychotic behavior ?
(Dad and me seldom talked about non-scientific things) :)
Yet after several drinks on my tea. I felt the urge and went to the bathroom.
The first thing I noticed is it was rather spacious in here, and the lights were out, although I could still see pretty easily, AND I was not alone.
I guess it would've been alright if it was another guy, but no, it was a girl, naked, and she had a little metal box on the floor. She was kneeling next to it.
Seeing me she chirped up and said, "Welcome to the toilet !"
I had to laugh, this was just too weird. "Who - what are you ?" I finally floundered trying to find the right words.
She smiled, "I'm a toilet fairy, can't you tell ?"
Now I knew definitions. There was actually such a thing as a toilet fairy. Another name was bathroom angel. I asked Nono this a week earlier, and she gave me the definition:
A toilet fairy is a female who enjoys interacting with people in public restrooms, usually as a prank or for pleasure.
They typically make their presence known by cleaning bathrooms and calling out to whoever is in the stall, asking what they are doing and offering to help. Toilet fairies may also be known as bathroom angels.
(which is likely where this dream came from)
. . .
She stood up and it was then I noticed she had quite the sizable butt which rather stood out since she didn't have a stitch of clothing. I stepped back to give it and her some room as she stood to twirl in place. "Can't you see my wings ?"
I looked to the wings. They laughably appeared to be made out of Saran-Wrap so I figured she really got into this part.
Seeing the look of confusion on my face she added, "I work here." Finally adding angrily, "And the toilet isn't free, it'll cost you. This is a pay toilet, you know !"
That made more sense to me. I nodded, "How much ?"
* * *
"10 cents." she chirped, and held out her hand.
"All I have is $1." I told her.
She continued to hold out her hand, patiently. And I gave her the last possession in my pocket. That one dollar bill.
"That's all you have." she said, not so much an inquiry as an observation.
I nodded.
She put the dollar in the metal box and pulled out a piece of paper and wrote on it. Then she handed it to me.
"This will cover you for 9-more trips. Keep that safe. Oh, and don't expose it to light, it's sensitive."
I laughed. So maybe the lights weren't out after all, that she must've turned them off herself for the sensitive carbon paper - which is all I could assume it was.
Then it dawned on me. Perhaps she was an employee of McGriddles that was being punished for - heaven knows what ?
I mean I remember some of the punishments that happened to me when I worked in fast food as a teenager and oddly most of them did involve getting swirlies and doing favors in the men's room besides.
"You poor girl." I finally said.
She looked to me with confusion. Finally adding with a rather mischievous twinkle in her eye, "Would you like me to watch or not ?"
I laughed out loud now, "Ahh, tell you what, umm, fairy. I would rather you not watch."
She understood and got up to face the corner. It was then I noticed her wings were really quite pretty despite being obviously homemade. Nonetheless that took some time to fabricate.
I went to a urinal and started to pee, but couldn't. Just her presence there tightened everything up for me.
I sighed and went to one of the stalls, opened the door, entered, locked it. And then also tried to pee.
After a moment she spoke, "Do you need some help ?"
I put some fingers to my forehead which were now sweating. "Ahh, no thanks, not this time. Maybe - later ?"
I said it in such a sarcastic tone I thought surely she was get the message.
Nonetheless she was quiet and I managed to do my business and flush the toilet.
I was so eager to leave this weird situation I started to exit the door when she was back in the middle of the floor sitting on it with her metal box and spoke, "Wash your hands."
"What ? Oh. Yes, sorry."
I quickly washed my hands. I dried them off. I fingered the paper she got me and for some reason managed to get a nasty papercut from it but I didn't say anything.
I had the door open and was preparing to leave when she said cheerfully, "Come again !"
And I was met on the other side of a burly gentleman entering the bathroom wearing size 10 boots. He got all excited and spoke, "Holy frick ! There's a girl in there ! Get outta my way, runt !"
He pushed past me to see what was going on and I quickly left. I made out a few voices.
Hers, "Hey ! Leggo ! I'm not that kind of girl."
And his confident one, "Sure you are ! That's why you're here, dollface."
Hers angrily, "I'm warning you ! You don't know who you're dealing with !"
And what sounded like a strong kick against the wall and then a very long howl of pain from him which had an odd echo followed by an unexpected toilet flushing.
I smiled, she must've kicked him in the jewels for not being a gentleman. I mean we must always show respect to others - no matter the situation.
I got back to Dad and told him the incredible tale. Of course the first thing he did was check my forehead and say, "You're warm, son. Are you sure you're not feverish ?"
"No ! She really was there ! She's still there now !" I dragged Dad by his hand to enter the restroom but aside from the light now being on both her and the burly man were gone !
I jumped back out and then asked the couple near the bathroom door, did anyone enter or exit ?"
The guy there sitting with his girl said, "Yeah. You went in. A big guy then came in muttering something or other, you came out ... I guess he's still in there."
I shook my head, "No ! The bathroom is empty. There's no-one there."
Now curiosity got the better of him, "Sure he is ! He's in the stall or something."
I held the bathroom door open as he entered and we both looked. The stall door, there was only one, was open and there was no sign of the pretty girl or the big man.
I looked closer in the stall and saw one of the man's boots floating in the toilet ! So he was here earlier ! ... But where was he now ?
The patron who didn't see what I did shook his head, "I'm sorry. I - I must've been mistaken. Heh - I guess I was seeing things."
"What about the girl ?" I asked him.
"Girl ? What girl ?"
"Didn't you hear her in there ? She was - well, she was talking to that other guy."
He shook his head. "I heard YOU talking to yourself in there. I - don't want to pry - but it sounded to me like you were having a rather long one-sided conversation. But I only heard your voice - no other."
My Dad intervened now. "Son, let's get you home. Your forehead is warm. I think you have a fever."
I didn't argue. We left the restaurant. Got back in the car. Then I remembered the slip she gave me ! The one that said I could go there for another 9-trips !
I quickly pulled it out and the paper dissolved into sharp little crystals in my grip.
I had shown the paper to light. You remember she said not to do so.
But the crystals interested Dad a lot !
He picked up a few from my palm thought were millimeters in size and examining them closely said, "These are diamonds, son ! Sharp. Rough-cut, but real diamonds ! Where did you get them ?"
"Dad, you remember, my pockets were empty."
He nodded, "True. So - tell me, what all did happen for you to get a pocketful of diamonds ?"
It was then I started to tell him about the strange girl I met in the restroom - about that point I woke up.
. . .
If you enjoyed this writing, feel free to look up another fairy-type story I wrote found HERE. 
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Read Request
My Library
Subscribe
Flag Writing
