We are now at High School, my first year, and it is perhaps here that I had the most difficult time of all with bullies.
But before all that I remember being in class and as you remember you could really wear whatever you wanted during that time, no school code or uniforms.
Well this very pretty girl stepped in and she was a perfect shoe-in for Alice In Wonderland.
She was so pretty ! She stepped in, looked around and chose a desk right next to mine. And strangely no-one else seemed dazzled by her beauty.
But I was. I easily and painfully fell out of my desk on my knees before her and spoke, "Ma'am, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life ! May I ask what your name is ?"
And THAT got a roar of laughter from everyone in the classroom. She spoke quite timidly and said, "I'm getting married this week."
"Married ?" I asked. It wasn't possible ! She had to have been 16 !
She nodded. "Yep. So - it wouldn't do you any good to know my name. But I appreciate you asking." at which point she turned her head to me getting another roar of laughter.
It was bad enough I bore my heart, my whole SOUL to her, she turned me down flat saying she was getting married. And maybe she was - I didn't know for certain.
But the whole class erupted in a roar of enthusiasm at the way I acted and now felt - beaten to the ground.
All I know is right then and there and for the first time in my life, my heart was put fully out and in return it was crushed. Utterly and completely to dust. And that changed me - like everything else in my life. I changed that day.
But back to the bullies.
It was not that I was getting beat up, not physically anyways, but my self-esteem and feelings of my self-worth were at an all-time low, and there was a reason for this.
For the bullies I had in Middle School completely followed me from that school to High School, and now bullying me was no longer just something to do - it was profitable.
And all began with me not wanting to be outside during recess but in the high-school library, reading books, doing a little early homework and the like.
Well they come in to the library, see me, and tell me to go with them. And when I didn't they grabbed my papers and books and ran off with me hot on their heels - which of course led into the bathroom.
And it was a choice, either my head or my school stuff would be getting a swirly that day. So - I relented and they did. And I started bringing a towel.
I guess this in itself was not too bad but then things changed. I noticed that older and older students started to appear to watch it, like I was some sideshow or something. And then I found out that these people were PAYING to see it done.
Once this happened I told them that if I am ever swirled again I will tell a teacher. Now at the time I could bicycle home as it wasn't too far from where I lived - still with Dad.
I did this one day though and thought I heard an engine roar behind me. As I was crossing the grass in my bicycle this vehicle turned off the street on to the grass to run me over !
Turned out it was the bullies. They grabbed me off my bicycle and spoke saying we're no longer in school and there isn't anyone to protect you. They dragged me to the ground and then held me up with my arms behind my back.
One in front balled up his fist like he was going to punch me really hard in the stomach causing me to wince but ended up flicking my nose getting laughter from the others.
They let me go, and I fell to the grass with tears in my eyes.
Strangely one of the bullies helped me back up and spoke in terms as if we were friends. "Look, all you gotta do is go along with us on Wednesdays. You won't get beat up and we'll leave you alone the rest of the week - how cool is that ?"
* * *
I was still pretty shaken, both from them scaring me thinking they were gonna run me over and secondly from him balling up his fist thinking he was gonna punch me in the gut.
So, I nodded shakily. He patted me on the back, "Thattaboy." Then they left and drove away.
But I didn't get back on my bicycle immediately. For now I was angry. I knew there wasn't anything I can do in telling the teachers. I did that, the bullying stopped for a few days, then it came back in stronger force, with me getting actually battered and beaten up, blood on my face.
So I went home, spoke with my Dad, basically that I had it with High School, can I leave and go to college now ?
Dad said we could get you tested on a GED, a Graduate Equivalence Degree. It would be about 3-more years before I could do that though. He said if I pass then though that I can skip the rest of high school and go straight to college.
So Wednesday came again. More swirling in the school toilet with someone sitting on my head, this time in their underwear, applause from the spectators, and more money being passed all around.
I was aware of the people around me. I noticed fullly-grown men watching my weekly demise and I was understanding the "admission" to watch this "show" was no longer $5 now but $10. There was no way all of this crowd was students.
Some had fully developed beards and mustaches. They had to be older people not even going to this school that were paying to see it done.
So, yeah I can see why they didn't want it to end. They were getting paid $10 per person who watched for a 30-minute show, probably $100. I asked my friend Chris later if he remembered this as he went to the same school I did - and he said yes I do.
I didn't know it was you though. But yeah it was well-known that there was some kind of paid show that happened during recess in the bathroom at the back of the school where some idiot was getting swirled in a toilet for a half-hour and people were paying to watch it done to him.
But one particular day after school I was very happy. Realizing I only had 2-more years of this bullying then I could finally be tested for a GED !
I remember being so happy and elated, grinning really. But as I was getting ready to bicycle away I saw some students with chains and they were beating up a teacher with them on the playground as the teacher yelled for help.
Wow. And I guess because I was paying so much attention to this just gliding forward on the road a car hit me going perpendicular to my direction. I understood they were traveling 45mph and I was knocked up in the air and my body landed on their vehicle damaging the front of it.
As I was in the hospital I remember my Dad being there. He said the lady in the car is trying to sue you for damaging her car.
"With my bicycle ?"
No, with YOU. I laughed and it hurt because I think I cracked a rib. Dad laughed too, no worries. She was completely in the wrong. You were crossing at the time the sidewalk said WALK and she ran the red light hitting you.
But what were you thinking ? You might've been able to avoid her ?
I just shook my head, told Dad that I had my heart set on that GED so I could finally go to college. I was in the hospital for a few more days, but finally I could leave - and return back to high school.
I was getting pretty lonely now. Brett had long since left the scene as well as Celeste from 3rd Grade. I was so lonely I actually looked forward to being manhandled by those bullies in High School every Wednesday.
And they were more than eager to do so. It was almost like a weird school play we were doing now with the payout of course being my head getting flushed.
They would say something. They would look to me to see if I said anything. One time I did, I got slapped for that and said that I was never to speak a single word during the "performance." That my being silent was part of the way it went.
Crazy. It was the age of BBSs and at the time they were doing pretty well for themselves. I remember Dad showed me a website called Matchmaker where I think it was $4 a month you could create your own profile and match it up with other people.
Dad said he would cover my cost if I could find someone that would make me happy because he knew I was lonely. It was pretty obvious really. At the time I was also still living with Dad and still had my own bedroom to myself.
I remember really putting my heart out to the Matchmaker. In a profile much like I did to that girl earlier in my class, mentioning my interests, my passions, my fears. And it was answered by all manner of girls my age.
But nothing ever came of it. We would talk for a bit and then they would leave. One after the other. I guess - I wasn't mature enough for them or something. I mean they were the same age as me, 17 at the time. But they had higher goals than me it seemed.
I think they were looking for boys that already had their own apartment or home - at the age of 17 !
It was heartbreaking to talk to be going back and forth with 4-different girls on Matchmaker and each one to turn me down flat finally stating that I was too immature for them - that I wasn't 'progressive' enough whatever that meant at the time.
About the time I was ready to give up I received an answer on Matchmaker that completely surprised me. Despite me filling out my profile and stating that I was heterosexual, a man wrote me a polite message.
He said that he read my profile and that I sounded like a most interesting person to meet.
He requested a rendezvous - and his name was Wayne.
END
OF CHAPTER 10
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CHAPTER 10 -
"Wayne"
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