Future Barrier Revisions

Hello, and welcome to what I hope will be some good and useful revisions to the now 3-book saga, "Future Barrier."

As of a month ago, I had run out of my "Drafts." That is, the chapters I had considerably worked on while back in Xanga (a new defunct social meeting site years ago). These drafts I had transferred from one computer to the next until I was ready to post them in here, Writer's Cafe.

As this was all I was working on at the time, they were good and accurate and followed in the correct plot and in chronological order.

I had thought in my head starting with chapter 42 that I remembered the whole story to this point and just dived right in. But I had forgotten that in chapter 18, the police had already arrived at the scene of murder and fingered the perpetrator as Stefani.

If you read current chapter 46, you will see that I write about the police AGAIN visiting Scant's residence - for the first time.

So ... that's a problem.

To be on the safe side, I'm going to re-read all of Future Barrier 3 starting with the first chapter, and make certain the story is in good and correct order making changes as I go.

I know many of you were hoping to see brand new chapters in the next few days, but let me do a little housecleaning here and try to get it all as one sequential story. It should be a lot better and more enjoyable to read then.

Hope to see you there ... Click on any of the links below to go directly to that book or special edition.

FUTURE BARRIER - BOOK 1
(74 chapters)

FUTURE BARRIER - BOOK 2
(71 chapters)

FUTURE BARRIER - BOOK 3
(46 chapters - so far ...)




CHARACTER SYNOPSIS

Reviews

[dw817]

(04/12/18)
Wednesdays are always busy and it's quite often I have no time for writing any of my chapters. Today now is Thursday though and I have all day to work on this. Let's see if I can get 3 updates done today.

Chapter [15]
http://bit.ly/2HiC5cQ
Wow. This is perhaps one of the most frightening chapters I have written to date. Truly cold-blooded murder and of the worst possible kind. I had someone ask me back in Xanga why did I do it ? Why did I kill off Katrina as it looked like her and Dev could have future meetings ?

I answered back, because she was just about as fond of her as she was of him - and I needed to take that away; to continue the story. So Dev would be back and focus with Tyr. But don't worry cause later when Dev finds out about Katrina's death from Scant, it tears him to shreds emotionally. But the chapter on that heartbreak has yet to be posted here.

Let's get on with the updates.

+ Added some clarity. "he" and "she" can get confusing when there is more than one "he" or "she" and since there were 4-people in the bathroom, I had to differentiate between them by replace "he" and "she" with their names. I'm not sure of another way to do this.

+ Added more definition to the murder. Pretty sure it didn't need it but as this is a pivotal scene from all 3-books, I wanted it to be a lasting memory and impression. Don't worry, Stefani, the murderer here, does indeed get hers.

Chapter [16]
http://bit.ly/2GVCWNc
+ Took out whole paragraphs. The way I wrote it initially is once the plugin is destroyed, there is no way to return back to the future. Reading this, I'm not liking it, so I changed it, so Dev himself will have to be brought to the future as (essentially) he is the plugin now. This will give me space to write many more chapters about his adventures in the future. Good stuff !

+ Gave a bit more definition to Neomatter. A chemical substance I made up that is the "ash" resulting from matter and antimatter colliding with each other. This "ash" is wholly acidic on a molecular level and many of the beasts in the "Gate" are comprised of it.

Chapter [17]
http://bit.ly/2HzzJ7e
I know Dev is 17-years old, as of yesterday according to the chapters. But he still is quite naive on a number of things. One of which is he truly believes its possible to catch a rainbow after a rainstorm. So, if you can accept that, this chapter may be easier to read.

+ Not too much, this chapter is in fine shape. Added a bit more detail, that's all.

See you tomorrow with more !

[dw817]

(04/10/18)
Tuesdays are all for myself. Let me see if I can get at least 2 chapter revisions done today.

Chapter [13]
http://bit.ly/2EAGVwR
Quite a bit to change !

+ I changed several sentences when Dev was in the bottom of the sleeping bag to show what he HEARD as he could not see what Katrina was doing above and stating so did not follow the story correctly.

+ Had Buford remind Katrina it was Lemonie's turn with Dev. Clearly Dev wants no part of this.

+ Emphasized that Dev liked the scent of Lavender and that it was on Katrina so he was comfortable despite the unusual sleeping arrangements she presented for him.

+ Made the pacifier double-edged so Katrina could get something out of this too.
+ Added more detail that Dev felt very comfortable where he was.
+ With Katrina rebuffing Buford, he's just livid the cable company isn't there already.

+ Added detail that Dev goes over in his head about never wanting to find the plugin to begin with as it seems to have caused him nothing but grief.

Chapter [14]
http://bit.ly/2H9Y2e6
Also needed several changes.

+ Got Dempsey and Petrov mixed up in some of the story proceedings. I corrected it.
+ Made Petrov more threatening with his knife.
+ Cleaned up the order in which events took place. It is definitely more readable now.
+ Forgot about the TV room so Dempsey knocks them out with a canister of Tangerine.
+ Added dialogue of the mysterious pacifier which Stefani can only guess to its use.
+ Gave Stefani a bit more ire as Dempsey is taking too long to do what he is told.
+ Katrina's refusal to say where Dev is causes Petrov to make a cut on her neck.

[dw817]

(04/09/18)
Yep, I have Sundays for myself. Good time to visit Chris. It's Monday now though so let's get one chapter complete and maybe more tomorrow.

Chapter [12]
http://bit.ly/2qiZscC
+ Had to correct a lot of single missing characters in the sentences. Not sure where they went.
+ Clarified that Katrina throws Dev onto a bunch of beanbag chairs instead of dropping him.
+ Added a bit more detail to Dev's shower.
+ Called Dev a Pansy because he smells so good after his shower. Naturally he bristles to this.
+ Katrina offers to release Dev to Lemonie if he won't sleep with her. He is frightened of both.
+ Add definition so Dev really is cramped down there in the kiddie sleeping bag.

[dw817]

(04/06/18)
Huh ?

(04/07/18)
Okay, so I totally lost track of Friday. It's a blurry memory having to do with not taking my meds at the right time. There ya go. But I'm aware today is Saturday. Let's get busy and make up for yesterday with [4] chapters today !

Chapter [8]
http://bit.ly/2GJRGi4
? No comments on whether the language is too profane to merit a mature rating ? Continuing ...
+ Gave a bit more physical description of Buford.
+ Hinted that Dev had not yet reached puberty, and Buford's lewd actions were terrifying to him.
+ Dev is confused Buford and Katrina screech angrily at each other and then kiss passionately after.

Chapter [9]
http://bit.ly/2JsH6hl
+ Changed the words slightly so Katrina is more fond of Dev (need to gear this for later chapters)
+ Gave more definition to just how frightened Dev is of the whole thing
+ Made Scant more intimidating - and stupid

Chapter [10]
http://bit.ly/2ErGuov
+ Added dialogue, Dev needs to pee so we try a cup first instead of outright cutting him free
+ Made Lemonie a bit more nasty, Dev will be meeting her later and I need to gear for vengeance
+ Recalled Lemonie's unique way of speaking as she did in earlier chapters, updated
+ Added dialogue about Dev's great escape

Chapter [11]
http://bit.ly/2H5Nmgz
+ Made Katrina bigger, more agile, and stronger, so Dev losing in a fight to her makes more sense
+ Earlier unexplained why Dev wasn't put back in the toilet, Katrina drags him to the video room

[dw817]

(04/05/18)
Thursday. I have all day to myself so I'll tackle 3 chapters this time.

Chapter [5]
+ Added a bit of definition to some sentences, nothing serious.

Chapter [6]
+ Repaired a few run-on sentences and statements that seemed confusing.

+ Added a bit of clarity and gave extended definitions for some of the punishments Buford threatened Dev with if he didn't behave.

Chapter [7]

This chapter looks good. No changes or additions are needed or desired as far as I can tell.

[dw817]

04/04/18
Usually Wednesdays are very busy for me as I visit my sister who lives outside the city. And while I got back late, I still had some energy for writing, so wanted to check and update the 4th chapter to this crazy story before the day finished.

Chapter [4] revisions complete.

+ Changed the poster to be 'Yaoi' instead of just 'Hentai.' More appropriate and would raise interesting questions in Dev later.

+ Changed 'hugged' to 'glomped' as Katrina literally tackles Dev in a combination of rape and hug.

+ Added a bit more detail to Scan't little sister. She will be a mystery for a few chapters to follow.

[dw817]

04/03/18
Chapters [2] and [3] revisions COMPLETE.

[Chapter 2]
+ Quite a bit of grammar clean-up.
+ Fixing run-on sentences to be two or more instead.
+ Added more "visual" references to put the reader directly in the story.

[Chapter 3]
+ Made "bomb shelter" locks on the inside. That matches more the plot in the chapters to follow.
+ Numerous grammatical errors were corrected.
+ Added to the descriptions of the mysteriously wrapped presents.
+ Fixed some continuity in the story where it was a little convoluted and hard to follow.

[dw817]

04/02/18
[Chapter 1] revisions COMPLETE.

+ There is clearer speech now from a less sarcastic and more concerned Murphy.
+ "Gate" technology is now 2-way, not just one-way as was written earlier.
+ Plugin device now has priority to be retrieved rather than destroyed.
+ Ages of Tyr, Lilly, and Dev have been adjusted slightly to match future chapters.
+ Lilly is a bit more understanding to Dev about his bullying problem.

That's all for now ! See you tomorrow.

[dw817]

Alright, it's Monday (04/02/18). Best thing I can do is view/edit each and every chapter of the 3rd book making revisions and additions where necessary.

If you have some suggestions for chapters you'd like to see or have questions on the existing story content, please let me know. I'll probably be here all this month. Good reading to you !