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THE DREAM DIARY
© December 2016 Written by David Wicker
Please do not reprint without permission
This will be my new main Tuesday writing and I will add a new listing of 10 of my
dreams every week as long as I can remember or am reminded to do so.
[ CHOOSE A DIFFERENT SET ]
* * *
These entries are Rated: TEEN
Busy dreams ! Here
are 10 more unusual and bizarre ones I have recorded. And like the
others - they seem to go all over the place.  ME OL' BAMBOO
[1]
I was an entertainer of sorts. Really I think this dream was a vicious makeover from earlier Dick Van Dyke's song and dance of "Bamboo" in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
While I did dance, I did so rather professionally I thought. Suddenly the stage was overborne by bullies I knew back in school. They came to tease, taunt, and otherwise try to mess up my dance.
The bamboo pole I had was sharp on the top, so in my anger and rage, I skewered the first one with it. Seeing this, one pulled out a knife but I knocked it from his grip, and he, too, was skewered on the pole. I flung their bloody bodies to the side.
If I expected the audience to gasp in horror or be dismayed, nothing further from the truth could there be. Instead it was thunderous applause and cheering. I - guessed the dream was to represent me overcoming my earlier life adversaries, if at least in this dream, and I basked in that knowledge and ovation.
I stepped off the landing when suddenly someone pulled a sheet over my eyes. Then I woke up.
 THE MELTING INDIANS
[2]
Dreamed I was part of a special investigation team. We were not policemen nor were we scientists, but something between that. It was 4-other people and me, we were to investigate the strange phenomenon that a nearby Indian settlement was beset upon by strong and deadly radiation.
We traveled in these neat looking black cars that were so narrow that anyone sitting in the backseat was leg-to-leg with the other. In my case, it was an attractive young women with jet-black and violet hair.
I set my hands on my knees when she coughed politely. Looking I saw I had set my left hand directly on her knee, just to the left of me. I looked up in alarm, getting ready to apologize, but she merely smiled kindly that it was alright.
I moved my hand down her bare knee when we suddenly arrived. And it was a complete nightmare ! While the other team was already out, I immediately locked the backseat doors.
Outside was horrible. Indians, glowing red and orange and the flesh was melting off of their faces. I thought we were safe when the front passenger door opened and we were greeted by an especially terrible looking and glowing Indian.
My companion shrieked and - I guess I fainted. I woke up back in bed.
 MEETING MOM AGAIN
[3] Dreamed
Mother had finally found me. She was of course angry that I wasn't in touch with her for so long. She demanded an explanation.
I told her that I didn't think she was very stable, that she needed to take anti-psychotic medications, the same as me, and she needed to go through therapy - to get rid of the "higher mind" and black magic that she was so deeply into.
Strangely, she didn't seem to understand. It was as if I were speaking a foreign language to her.
Then there was a knock at the door. I answered it and it was a box marked, "Mediator." I brought it inside, opened it, and inside was a live yet polite monkey. I showed him to Mom. We both petted the monkey for a minute or so.
Then I went back to talk to Mom. But as I did so, the monkey started screeching out in tones - almost as if he were translating for me - and apparently he was.
Suddenly my Mom jumped up on the bed on all fours and began screeching back at the monkey - and odd as it was - I do believe they were communicating with each other.
I went to get a notepad to see if I could write down what was going on when suddenly the kitchen turned into a set of stairs going down into darkness. I took one look and turned around when - someone - couldn't see their face, pushed me down the stairs even further into the darkness.
Then I woke up.
 LITTLE MISS BATMAN[4] I was a girl in this dream, I believe 12-years old. This sort of thing doesn't usually happen, but there it is.
I dreamed that I was Bruce Wayne's daughter, from the binding of him and Selena Kyle. She later came to change her last name to Wayne so it was Selena Wayne.
I remember my Daddy (Bruce) went missing, and my Mommy (Selena) went out to search for him. She was dressed up and had all her accoutrements for Catwoman. But now a full week passed, and Alfred had also gone missing.
I was doing fine. I had a key to get in and out of the mansion and there was a ton of ready-made frozen meals downstairs in the massive freezer. I used the bat-computer to try and track them down - with no luck. It was almost the end of the next week when, in desperation, I went to the police.
At first I told them my Daddy was missing. They seemed interested until I said he was Bruce Wayne. Then they laughed thinking the whole thing a joke and said, oh, he'll be back. Don't you worry.
But that wasn't good enough for me. And they were all patting me on my head and swatting me on the bottom to scoot me out of the police station when I finally yelled, "My Daddy is Batman !"
That stopped them. They were quiet for a moment, and one asked, "Can you prove it ?"
I nodded. I said I'll take them to the bat-cave.
Where is that ?
It's behind the wall clock in Wayne Manor.
So a team of policemen drove me back to the house. I started to use my key when the door flung open and there was Alfred. But there was something unusual about him. He didn't seem to recognize me.
Not being one for subtleties, I told him that I was going to show the police the bat-cave so they can help find where Batman went.
He never blinked an eye but spoke stolidly and said that he had never seen me before. I stared wide-eyed at him.
One of the policemen asked, "Is Bruce Wayne in ? She says that he is missing."
Looking straight ahead with the same blank stare he spoke again. "The master is away on business but will return tomorrow. If there is nothing further." at which point he closed the door.
The policemen couldn't arrest me I guess because I was so young. But they certainly did scold me for trying to trick them into believing what I said. Finally they decided the best thing to do was drive away and as punishment, let me walk home.
But I was home, and I had nowhere else to go.
I knocked once on the door when someone grabbed me. At once I smelled paint and thinner. Whoever grabbed me - his whole hand reeked of it. It was the Joker !
Beaming a wide and awful smile down to me said, "So you think you're Batman's daughter do you ?"
I fearfully nodded my head.
He laughed maniacally, "Then I suppose we have perfect bait to catch old batsy !"
With that he reached in a pocket and pulled out a handkerchief that had a strange fruity smell to it. He clapped it over my nose and mouth and in seconds I was unconscious.
Then I woke up.
 INCIDENT WITH A TOILET
[5] Not to go in great detail, I had found recently that my best friend, Chris, has also had distressing dreams about toilets. So - I am not alone.
In this particular one, the lady who visits me from the government each week had not only done a bit of cleaning but had hooked up a new toilet up to my mailbox. She told me that every time I received mail, the toilet would flush.
I wondered what would happen if I tried to use the toilet, would I automatically get mail ? I went to the room where she had installed it and saw this horrifying huge toilet, much too big for a person. I had to stand up on the precarious seat to even reach the handle.
I did so when I noticed there were windows all around and a large number of people were watching me. I just managed to flush the mechanism when the whole thing vibrated intensely from the action.
The seat I was standing on was curved and my feet weren't really well-placed on it. From the sudden vibrations, I fell in and despite fighting the current, was flushed straight down the intake hole to awful stink, stickiness, and darkness below. Then I woke up.
 THE SPIDER BROOCH
[6] Dreamed I was going through some old boxes from years ago. I have a notorious habit of putting things away in boxes and then forgetting them for years at a time.
In this particular box, I found a beautiful violet and blue jewel encrusted spider brooch. It was rather heavy, I think if I tried to wear it on my regular shirt, it would tear it, but not so on a jacket.
I pulled out a heavy jacket, attached the broach, and stepped out the front door of my home.
Outside it was really weird, the clouds were all swirled up together making like a funnel. At first I thought it was a tornado, but there was no wind. Then I could hear it. Very faint at first, but then louder, the running of tiny 8-legged creatures - which could only be spiders !
And then I saw them, every possible make and breed of spider imaginable, and they were all running down the streets, terrifying everyone they saw. And those who didn't get out of the way were enveloped by them - horrifying to watch.
I started to run myself when I felt a spider run up my leg. I started to smack it off when it fell off of its own, and somehow burned on the ground.
Then the wave of spiders was upon me, but each that barely managed to climb just past my pants cuff, also fell off burning, as if their very insides were ignited by a mystic fire.
A larger spider approached, nearly half the size I was. My brooch suddenly started to glow a pretty pink and violet. The spider 'kneeled' in respect, at least, I think it was. Then they ran past me attacking everyone else who clearly was not so protected.
Looking where they were the area was picked clean of people, that is, except for the bones left behind.
I saw one was holding a beautiful book. What was especially interesting is, on the cover of this book, it showed a picture of the very brooch I was wearing.
I tried to take it from the skeleton's grip, but he (she ?) held on to it for dear life, or perhaps that should be death.
I was considering breaking one of the fingers off when suddenly I heard a weird raspy sound, truly from beyond the grave.
"Mine !" it said.
I whirled to look around and two dots of yellow fire, quite similar to what burned the spiders earlier now shone from the skeleton. It reached out with fleshless fingers for the brooch. "Mine !" it said again.
I felt the need to reply so I quavered, "It won't do you any good now !"
But the voice only repeated greedily. "Mine !"
Now I was starting to run away top speed when I slipped on something, then woke up in fear.
 LEGO MY DAD
[7] Very strange and odd dream. My Dad was made out of LEGOs but me and my sister were note. It was some type of curse. Something to do with an experiment involving time travel, and instead it opened a gate to alternate realities, which, I guess one was a world of LEGOs.
But it wasn't just this. Little tiny LEGO pieces bounced and jumped in the air with a life of their own. I know I was with my sister and we were boiling some oil in the hopes of "killing" whatever these LEGO creatures were.
The Dad Lego, who was adult-sized from thousands of pieces said that he was the messiah to the new world. I nodded, "That's nice." and then we were ready to use the oil.
We had made a big pot of it and poured it directly on Dad and the LEGOs, they screamed and fizzed, hissed, and ultimately melted. It was a terrible nightmare. I woke up in fright.
THE THING IN THE T-SHIRT
[8] Dreamed
I was at a run-down 99 cent store. I was looking at these neat little geisha figures when I saw a T-shirt tucked in the back.
I pulled it out to look at it. It was really pretty. The material itself was dark purple and had tiny spider-like marks making a pretty type of reflective crystalline design that was asymmetrical in every possible way.
And it was difficult not to look at it because at how incredible the design was. On the back was nothing, which was surprising, but I already imagined myself wearing the shirt backwards so the design would appear behind me and people could see it more clearly.
I went to pay for my items when the proprietor took the shirt. He lifted it up, did something strange, smelled it. Then handed it back.
"No charge." he said simply.
"Why ?" I asked.
"It has long been yours." he said cryptically. "I cannot charge you for something that is already yours."
I shrugged, the guy is crazy surely. I took the rest of my purchases then left the door.
To the right of my was an alley. I really did like that design. I went into the alley and traded shirts, making sure the intricate design was behind me. Then I left to walk home.
Sure enough people looked and pointed. My face flushed with pride. But then something moved on the front of my chest.
"Backwards." it said.
I looked and a weird eyeless face had been made from the newfound folds in the fabric.
I looked down for a closer examination when suddenly the face reached out and bit me - with very sharp metallic teeth I might add !
I fell over as the face ravenously started chewing into me, then woke up in fright.
 THE BIRTHDAY FAIRY
[9] I knew my birthday was coming up. Perhaps is why I had this dream.
I woke up, but not really, I was still asleep but didn't know it. I got up to take a shower, cleaned up, got out, put on a robe and started towards the computer when I heard and felt what seemed to be a gnat near my ear. I reached out to swat it when I felt paper-thin wings.
"What are you doing !?" a small and female voice screeched near my ear.
I reeled my head around, almost falling over at what I saw. It was a cute little girl floating on large and beautiful blue and violet wings. I panicked, however, in seeing that the top of her head was on fire !
I stepped forward, licked my fingers, and was going to put out the flame when she shot this crystalline powder over me.
"What the hell is your problem !?" she added. In this frozen state I could see that she was in fact not on fire. It was a cupcake, like a hat for her head, and burning steadily above it was a single candle.
"Birthday." I managed to say with numb lips. Then the paralysis left me.
"Yes, I am." she said in reply.
"What ?"
"I am a Birthday fairy ! And I'm here to grant you a wish."
I frowned, "I thought I did that when I had my birthday cake."
She shook her head. "It used to be that way, but you may have noticed that you don't - not REALLY - you don't get your wish that way anymore."
"Why ?" I asked her.
She stamped one of her feet in midair, "Really !? I don't know why. Does it matter ? So what do you wish for. Hurry up, I've got a bunch of people to do."
"Right now ?" I asked her.
"Yes ! Stop stalling."
I thought it would be nice for me and Carlos to go to the Edelweiss restaurant, so I told her.
"Good wish." she said with a smile. "Not too greedy, and you're thinking of your friends."
She suddenly blew a puff of air from her mouth but it was so strong that it literally crumbled everything around me, yet I didn't feel it at all myself. When I looked around, I saw that I was sitting at the table of Edelweiss with Carlos.
"What can we get ?" he asked me.
That was an indicator for me to check my money. I reached in my pocket, however, and found 7 crisp $100 bills.
"Get whatever you want, Carlos." I said with a smile.
Then the scene strangely changed. I was clinging on to the end of a moving vehicle in the middle of traffic trying to get in, but the passengers inside wouldn't let me.
Then the car accelerated onto the freeway. They made a sharp turn and the tiny piece of metal I was hanging on to came loose and I was flying in midair. Then I woke up.
 JACK'S SONG
[10]
Dreamed I was a professional actor in Hollywood. I was also good friends with Jack Nicholson. And like my friend, Chris, he was definitely a curmudgeon. Someone difficult to get along with unless you knew them well.
We were at a restaurant and he was strangely silent. Later I found through the meal he was seething with anger.
"What's the problem ?" I asked him.
"You stole my song." he said through clenched teeth.
"Your song ?"
"Yes, my mother-trucking song !"
I took a bite of my delicious food and paused to think. I honestly could think of or remember any song I took from him.
"I'm sorry - can you help me out a little to remember ?"
Jack set down his fork noisily. Then he began to sing. And it wasn't a very good song. "The words were, 'All work and no play makes jack a dull boy.'"
It was mindlessly repetitive. I smiled up at him. Without thinking I said, "Jack, I could never have taken that from you - because that's just a terrible song."
Unable to bite back the words I said he lunged over the table with a knife in his hand. Suddenly I woke up in fright.
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