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THE DREAM DIARY
© November 2016 Written by David Wicker
Please do not reprint without permission
This will be my new main Tuesday writing and I will add a new listing of 10 of my
dreams every week as long as I can remember or am reminded to do so.
[ CHOOSE A DIFFERENT SET ]
* * *
These entries are Rated: TEEN
Busy dreams ! Here
are 10 more unusual and bizarre ones I have recorded. And like the
others - they seem to go all over the place.  THE JAMES BOND BATHROOM
[1]
I was over at a friend's house, I think I was 17-years old and this was a friend from long ago.
He was playing Atari in another room when I came in. I asked where the bathroom was and he just put out a thumb mumbling that it was down the hallway.
I went down the hall but didn't see anything, no doors, no nothing, not even a turn, just a solid dead end.
I tapped around on the walls and one side I did suddenly lit up like the paint itself could light up. A doorway appeared. I pushed on it and the door slid away with a sound like in Star Trek.
Inside it was really quite lovely. It was indeed a bathroom but apparently a tribute to James Bond.
There were glass-covered pictures from all the movies surrounding where the tiles would be. In the sink was a golden toothbrush with buttons on the end of it.
I picked it up and hit one key and it started vibrating, which would be good for cleaning your teeth. I hit another button and the bristles suddenly leapt out to collide against the far wall !
I set down the brush in a hurry and went to examine where the bristles hit. They were so sharp they directly impaled the wall.
I went back to the brush and it somehow mysteriously had a whole new set of bristles.
One adjacent wall had a simple sign marked EXIT above it. To the side was a friendly red button. Curious to see where this would lead, I hit it, and in horrors it opened up to reveal that I was somehow thousands of feet up in the air and what I opened was like an airlock. All the rolls of toilet paper, loose towels, and paper items suddenly flew through the opening !
The James Bond theme music started to play above it all showing I was in great danger !
I was holding on for dear life to a towel rod when it broke and I went flying out the door. I woke up in fright.
 I, ROBOT
[2]
Dreamed I was awake. Really awake, like I was in reality. But I was back home, 10-years old, back with my Star Wars comforter, the knotted wooden walls, and lots of toy robots on the shelves.
Behind me on the baseboard was Dad's calculator which I always liked to experiment with. Also on the shelf was a clock which read a little after 2am.
Suddenly a tall woman stepped in my room. She was dressed a cross between a nurse and some type of important military figure.
She came to the side of the bed with a metal-based notepad and was looking directly at me and writing notes apparently on what she saw.
I was in my underwear and rather frightened of this unknown visitor.
"Go away !" I told her in a loud voice.
She remained quiet and continued to write notes, apparently on my behavior. I started to yell when she suddenly and deftly put out a finger to my mouth and spoke, "Don't get loud on me. Let's keep this quiet, shall we ?"
I was quieter but still inquired, "What's going on ?"
"You're supposed to be asleep." she said with some irritation setting down her clipboard.
Then she grabbed my right hand and turned it over. She had a metal wand with a gold tip on it in her other hand. She then traced it over my wrist. My wrist felt like something sharp and metallic was in it and it was making soft clicking noises.
Then a little panel opened up and inside my wrist was all kinds of miniature machinery ! It smelled like a new calculator, too. Keeping a tight hold on my wrist she reached out for some tools in her purse with her free hand.
"I didn't know I had that in there." I said really surprised and somewhat frightened.
"You're not supposed to know. Didn't you know that - ?" and she smiled at me without continuing.
Finally she added, "No, I guess you wouldn't. I suppose it won't matter if I tell you. You'll forget anyways."
"In case you haven't figured it out, you're a robot. Just like your toys in here, but a bit more advanced."
"We wanted to see how well you could integrate into a true family environment. But you are malfunctioning, you're waking up too much during the night with bad dreams ... " Her voice trailed off as she turned some screws in my wrist with a screwdriver. Strangely I could feel nothing.
"That should do it." she said with finality. Letting go the front of my wrist suddenly sealed itself over. I looked at it, tapped it, felt it. It felt like flesh, but I remembered what I saw earlier !
"Time for sleep." she said. Then reaching in her purse pulled out a metal disc, about the same size as a speaker for a radio. She held it firmly to my forehead.
I reached out to knock her hand away, but for some reason she was quite a bit stronger than me, despite the fact I was a robot. I felt a strange humming in my eyes, I saw blue within blue and suddenly felt immensely sleepy. My eyes drooped and I felt my breath grow short and started to feel faint.
She caught and cradled me back in bed. Looking around she saw a teddy bear and, pulling back the covers, placed it around my arms to look natural. She then tucked the covers back over me.
Satisfied everything looked normal, she got back up stepped out of my room, onto some crazy illuminated stairs that came straight out of the ceiling.
Then there was darkness - a comfortable hypnotic hissing, like a metallic fan. Then I woke up.
 CROSSING REALITY
[3] Dreamed me and my sister were watching some TV show on Dad's little TV. It's a little known fact that I got a personal computer before we even had a color television set. Dad was determined to point out that the television was a fad and would soon pass.
Today, of course, we know this to be the exact opposite.
In any case, we were watching some show, I think it was the Million Dollar Man when, bored, I started to cross my fingers. First my left hand. Index to middle, and pinky to 3rd. Then I did it on the other hand.
My sister saw this and spoke, "What are you doing dummy ?"
"Just trying something." I told her.
Then I crossed my hands together. It was at that point my eyes blurred and I saw a 3rd wrist between the two.
I thought it was a great illusion. My sister was watching the show again when I said, "Here." and tossed the third wrist from my hand into her lap.
"What the hell !?" she said jumping up in surprise.
I laughed, "It's just an illusion, see ?" and I showed her my hands which still had the fingers crossed 4-ways.
My sister then spoke in a serious voice. "That's fine. But WHY is there a third wrist ?"
"It's an illusion." I repeated. "If your eyes are relaxed, it looks like there's a third wrist."
"Then what the hell is that !?" she demanded and pointed to the floor.
There indeed was a third wrist, whether you dilated or crossed your eyes. It was there.
I immediately uncrossed my fingers, and so did the third wrist.
"This is impossible !" my sister said, yelling now. "What you done, you creep ?"
Suddenly the wrist took on spider-like behavior, and quickly "walked" to the side of the wall, then up and finally hanging upside-down over the TV.
"That =IS= impossible." I said, finally agreeing with her. Suddenly the ceiling opened up and it was like the darkness of space, but with some thick heavy purple gelatin around it.
"Reality fluid. It's here to repair reality." I said automatically, not really knowing where the words came from.
The gelatin then fell like a canvas and covered everything with a burning hiss, trying to erase the error in reality I manifested. I woke up in pain and fright.
 DETENTION[4] I was back in school, 2nd grade, but I was in detention. It was just me and one other teacher.
Like I had always done, even before computers existed, I was drawing on paper, little boxes, some open, some closed, sort of like a maze, and I was writing numbers inside of them.
Suddenly the teacher that was to keep me there till after recess got up to look at what I was doing.
I didn't have anywhere to put it so I tried to cover it up by opening a book. The teacher pulled away the book and saw the writing.
"This is genius." she said simply.
"Really ?" I asked. No teacher had ever thought my doodles were anything more than just a bored little boy's drawing.
"Yes, really. It's like you can see into the future. This is algebra, and you're - what, how old ?"
"Eight." I told her.
"That's right, eight. Really quite marvelous what you did here."
I beamed with pride and spoke up, "Well, I think there will be a time when calculators have more than one box, there will be boxes within boxes, and one box will directly influence the patterns of others. I feel that - " I broke off conversation shuddering to what she just did.
She had apparently quite innocently taken my left wrist in her grip and leaning over sensually licked the top of my hand.
"I, feel, that is ...!" I quavered in fear and confusion.
"How do you feel - NOW ?" she asked with a big grin on her face.
"I feel - I feel ..." but I couldn't finish the sentence. Unseen and unknown emotions rocketed through me leaving my mind in a blur of embarrassment and bewilderment.
Then she sat sideways with her heavy bottom on the top of my desk causing it to creak under the weight. She then took my chin in her fingers to encourage me to look up at her beaming face, when suddenly the desk fell over - painfully onto me, and I hit my head hard against against the concrete floor causing me to black out.
Then I woke up back in bed and had to wonder if this really happened in my past.
 THE BURNING BIRD
[5] Dreamed I was back in school, Middle, I think. I was having trouble putting my stuff away in my locker, which was strange since I had never used a locker in my entire life except one time for P.E., and even then I didn't have a lock for it.
It was the last day of school and I was running into the same problem as my dreams often did. Unable to find the main office, or class I needed to be in at the time. Curiously I could always find the library in these types of dreams, but that wasn't very helpful for getting me to class.
I remember being in the library and finally telling myself that I'll just have to miss a class. Then when the bell rings I should know where to go.
As I was pulling out some books to read, some kids came by and, even though they were polite, kept calling me MISS, which I thought was kind of rude.
Finally I went to the library's restroom, to see if my hair or something looked feminine, when there was this big black bird sitting on the entry door to one of the stalls.
I looked in the mirror and while strangely I could not see myself. I saw the reflection of the bird appeared anything but normal. In the mirror, the bird was glowing red hot, like it was in a fire, and it had yellow smoldering eyes. I whirled to look back at the bird which appeared normal without the reflection.
"Are you a demon ?" I asked it.
The bird, strangely replied. "Could be."
"Then you can grant me a wish." I said with finality.
The bird nodded, "Could be. What do you wish for ?"
"I'll need some time to think about it." I told the bird. "You'll be here later ?"
The bird cawed one time and jumped to the mirror. The same strange reflection of a fiery and burning bird appeared again. "I am always here." it said simply.
I started to leave the bathroom when I suddenly slipped, I guess on some pee and my feet whizzed out from beneath me and I cracked my head hard on the concrete floor. Then I woke up.
 RUNNING WITH THE CROSS
[6] Dreamed Katy wanted to go to the church I went to years ago.
And while she was allowed, I was not.
"Why is that ?" I asked one person who blocked my way.
"Because of the bad business with Fr. Jon." he told me.
"But I wasn't responsible ! And he was impeached, anyways !" I retorted.
He shook his head, "Nonetheless, you aren't permitted back. Too many hurt feelings, and the way you left suddenly."
"I left quietly." I told him, now looking at the ground.
"You did. You could've made a real scene, but you didn't. Nonetheless, we can't have any drama here."
"What can I do ?" I asked him.
He put his arm down now seeing I wasn't going to try and get past him. "We'll review your case with the vestry and see."
I turned to walk away when I was suddenly trampled by a bunch of people, including the current preacher, carrying this giant wooden cross through the main doors of the church. They were running so fast that I was literally knocked aside and kicked painfully into the bushes.
Then I woke up.
 UNBALANCED BICYCLE
[7] Dreamed me and Dad were on this strange kind of bicycle. It was not symmetrical by any means. In fact, it was downright lopsided, maladjusted, and out of balance compared to a normal bicycle.
I was leaning hard to the left while I pedaled, and my Dad up ahead, leaned to the right, just to keep the stupid thing balanced. I had in my memory that I was trying to get to college but I didn't know the way.
Dad's car was in the shop, and all we had was this decrepit bicycle. It seated two but was a pain to use. We crossed traffic and streets and naturally everyone pointed and laughed at how badly designed the bicycle was we were using to try and get to school with.
Then I saw Mr. Gill in his double-wide truck stopped at a red traffic light. He offered to take us to where we needed to go. Dad hopped off and, with effort, I managed to get off the bicycle without getting hurt. Dad and Mr. Gill picked up the bicycle and slammed it loudly into the back of his payload.
Gill took the driver's seat and Dad took the passengers. I was expected to ride in the back.
I managed to climb inside but the awful bicycle was sliding all over the place. Finally I saw it sliding straight towards me and I had to make a choice, let it crash into me or jump out and take my chances.
I jumped out of the truck learning to roll when I hit the grass, and I was fine. As the truck turned a corner the bicycle suddenly ignited into a fireball and exploded the truck.
"Dad !" I yelled, and started running forward. But the heat was too intense. A firetruck arrived minutes later, but according to the chief, both bodies were burned up, no survivors, except for me who jumped from the truck.
I was taken downtown to give my statement of what happened. Suddenly I heard a very loud metallic click that reminded me of being back in the ward.
I whirled to look around when suddenly it seemed like all the police, everything was a fabrication. It was as if I was being tested by a psychiatrist to go back over some traumatic event in my life, and I was under hypnosis.
My head started jerking up and down as it usually does when I dream about the ward, then I woke up.
 MACHO MACHO MAN
[8] Dreamed
a really crazy one. We had this super cute oriental teacher, back in Elementary school.
She was a substitute for our original teacher who we somehow knew was never going to return. And every day this new teacher played the music video for "Macho Man" on a pull-down screen with a little projector she brought from home. I was bored to tears by and it was so silly, she was dancing up and down and singing crazily to it - for a full hour.
The class didn't mind much cause it got them out of schoolwork. It was the third day of this nonsense when the principal showed up.
Suddenly the video was stopped and the lights turned on.
"Just what in Sam Hill is going on here, miss Taoshin ?"
But she was quick to reply. "An educational video. We were, umm, learning about stereotypes in the world around us."
But the principal was not satisfied by this. He demanded the lights be turned off and the video played. If I expected him to get mad for miss Taoshin dearly wasting our time with this repeated video, I was sadly mistaken.
A big and silly grin crossed our principal's face and he started singing out the lyrics to the overdroned song in a deep tone. Shortly miss Taoshin joined.
Then the principal ripped off his shirt showing perfect abs. At this point I was so disgusted with the whole affair I got up to leave the room and no-one even noticed.
Outside the class in the hall it was deathly silent, as if the door I left was an airlock and no sound could escape.
Thinking I was in danger I quickly started to run down the hall to the exit of the school, when I was suddenly confronted by two known bullies of the time.
Somehow realizing the impossible, I motioned them over. "Watch." I said simply. Then I pounded my fist hard into the side of the school's wall. The WHOLE school shook and rumbled as I did.
"So don't bother me." I had scarcely gotten out these words when someone behind had pounded me over the head with a 2x4 of wood. Then I woke up.
 DANCING IN MY LEDERHOSEN
[9]
Dreamed I was trying to get one from one side of the school to the other. In my memory, there was some type of party taking place, and there was going to be little cups of ice cream with wooden spoons and vanilla and strawberry cupcakes besides.
It was back in Elementary, I was a kid once again, and I found myself running through strangely empty hallways, trying to get my bearings on how to get to the other side of the school where the party was taking place.
At one point I realized the school was HUGE, much bigger than it was I imagined in reality, and for a moment I thought maybe I was dreaming. But that was quickly replaced with a sudden smell of fire and seeing smoke coming from ahead.
A teacher was using a fire hydrant to put out a trash fire. I gave her one look and she pointed to a side door.
I went out the door and saw a bunch of cars in motion. It was like the school was on the side of this bridge, and the cars were all crossing the raised bridge at the wrong time and making a big splash and falling in the water.
"Wait !" I told the drivers. They looked at me. "Just wait ! Wait !"
"Wait for what ?" one driver grumpily replied, then without further ado, drove up the bridge to also fall directly into the water below.
I shook my head in frustration, would no-one listen to me ? I shrugged and left the scene, and then it was like I was no longer at school but at Six Flags, back when it first opened and everything was great.
I could hear carnival ride motors, pops of hydraulics, and screaming and cheering kids.
There was this locked gate ahead of me I knew I needed to get past. I was small enough I squeezed through the side opening and continued. Then there was this huge building and for a moment I thought it was the school again.
I entered and saw that I had apparently made it to the celebration - but there were no kids. In fact it was a bunch of adults, pretty disheveled, looking rather homeless in truth.
There was a woman who was handing out styrofoam plates with meals on them. I approached her.
"What's going on ?" I asked.
She promptly replied, "There are over 1-million people living here, and I have to feed them all."
"A million !?" I asked completely surprised.
"More than a million." she kindly reminded me.
There was a cute girl my age. She had two cupcakes in her hand and was munching one of them. I figured this would be a good chance to introduce myself and see if she wouldn't share the 2nd cupcake she had.
"Hi !" I said, approaching her.
She suddenly burst out laughing and pointed at me. I looked down to see that I was somehow crazily dressed like I was a native German, complete with Lederhosen.
"Dance !" she demanded of me.
"What ?" I asked.
"Dance ! Dance and you can have this cupcake."
So, I danced, and I imagine I was an immensely bad dancer. She was laughing so much she tipped over, but not before I managed to grab the extra cupcake.
There was a weird flash of the lights, then like a dull explosion outside, and suddenly I was awake.
 THE DANGERS OF TIME TRAVEL
[10]
Dreamed I could travel through time. I was the age I was now but what was curious, was when I traveled to my past, I appeared to be the same age as I was then, but with the knowledge I had now.
What a wonderful gift ! I could talk to Dad about computers before they existed and =HE= would get credit for them !
But then the scene changed and I was at church. I think Santa Claus was supposed to make an appearance for the wheelchair bound children who had arrived earlier.
He was not showing. I still felt I could time travel and wondered if I could borrow the Santa Claus from the great movie of Miracle on 34th street.
So I clutched my fingers together, then tapped my palm in an arrhythmic pattern and saw myself traveling through the years. The years ! I was traveling before I was born ! I tried to put a stop to my time travel before I arrived but I couldn't.
Suddenly I was a newborn, then a type of red worm, then a sparkle of light, quickly winked out by the darkness around me. Then I woke up.
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