FB2-40 "Bittersweet Memories"

PRESS CTRL = (EQUALS) TO INCREASE THE PAGE SIZE AND CTRL 0 (ZERO) TO RESET THE PAGE SIZE Want to read this in a different language ? Change the TO field to your own country and after going HERE F U T U R E   B A R R I E R ( The 2nd Novel ) Secret Technology, Unrequited Love, Absolute Vengeance © June 2015 Written by David Wicker Please do not reprint without permission  CHAPTER 40 - "Bittersweet Memories" [ CHOOSE A DIFFERENT CHAPTER TO READ ] * * * This chapter is Rated: TEEN The bigger girl continued, interrupting my moment of comfort, "But if you so much as fvcking tell ANYONE what happened today, we'll cut your nuts off ! Got it !?" "Yeah !" admonished the redheaded girl. She was a mean one. I looked to her sunglasses. They were made for an adult so they blocked out nearly half her face as she couldn't have been more than a few years older than me. What was she hiding ? "Okay !" I said, getting a little tired of their superior attitude but still not wanting to let the hand-holding moment pass, but it went right over the bigger girl's head. She leaned back and laughed and the other two girls tittered to themselves in pleasure, delighted to have found such a willing victim for this sick childish game. I felt myself suddenly get queasy, realizing I had just promised to be their toilet brush as long as this cute girl held my hand. I could've run away earlier ! But did I want to ? Did I want to leave the girl who was holding my hand so very passionately, even now ? I looked up and felt tears start in my eyes again, feeling belittled by the other girls' laughing eyes on mine, but the nicer girl holding my hand, her eyes were only of comfort. I marveled at this. I reached my thumb around and squeezed her hand for reassurance, needing some right now, but was almost a little afraid she would throw my hand down at my own response to her warm touch, but she didn't. She squeezed my wrist back, harder, and smiled biting her lip back at me. She didn't laugh cruelly at me like the others. DAMN I had fallen in love at 7-years old at quite possibly the worst of times and there was no going back now ! Thinking it was her turn to speak again, the redheaded girl blurted out, "Hey ! I gotta idea what he can -" she started but was interrupted. The bigger girl overrode her, but there was tension in her voice for some strange reason I didn't figure out until later. "Shaddap I gotta better idea. Shrimp, we're gonna find you every Wednesday in the Reading Room, so you can get more of the same you got today, you'd like that, wouldn't you ?" The way she said it made me believe I was supposed to have pulled away earlier and run out bawling like a baby, like other victims she may have done in the past. But I didn't, I stood resolutely up to her, or so I think she believed, and I think that obviously confused her a little. She apparently didn't realize I would put up with ANY punishment she could dish out just so I could hold this nice girl's hand again. She had to assert her authority with the other girls, showing she wouldn't put up with my apparent indifference to her. Nonetheless I felt terrible aching sorrow inside, realizing this wasn't going to be a one-time abuse now, but possibly a terrible cycle that I could never break. I fell painfully to my knees at the sight of the bigger girl standing over me, but the nice girl still held on to my hand even as I went down. Then she moved a little closer appearing like she was going to kiss me but then whispered wet in my ear with a shy voice, "Hey, it's okay. You like me, doncha ? C'mon, it'll be fun !" Without waiting for an answer she stayed stooped down to look at me intently with her pretty face for any sign of an answer and continued to hold my hand while once again rubbing her thumb sensually in the pit of my palm. I think I actually started to salivate at the feeling. The bigger girl smiled down at me wickedly, at the obvious weakness I had for this nicer girl and added, "You'd BETTER be in the Reading Room reading your FVCKING books when we come for you. Because if you're not where you're 'sposed to be, I'll FIND you and pound the S**T out of you ! Now get the HELL outta here, shrimp !" The girl I fell in love with flung down my hand suddenly and I ran out as quickly as I could, my hair still wet and my glasses clacking against my shirt pocket. But I did pause to look back behind me at the strange symbol of the circle face above the upward facing triangle signifying a dress and smaller inverted one below it for the feet. I had done something incredibly forbidden and I felt a little -guilty- really. I had been in a girl's restroom rather up close and personal. And I would be in there every week now, apparently voluntarily, to get my head washed in a toilet found within. I swallowed hard, not sure if it was worth the price. I ran to the boys' restroom to dry my hair with paper towels and realized that I had better start carrying a towel every Wednesday to dry my hair. I told Dad that it was for sweating outside during recess, and he believed me. And then the girls gave me swirlies every Wednesday as I agreed to as long as I could hold that girl's hand, taking me out of the Reading Room where I always was after lunch, never being outside for recess as kids teased me and I didn't know how to play outside games anyways. Eventually the girls realized that the appearance of Sharon alone in the library would coax me enough to go with her so they could give me my weekly abuse. The first time she was alone with me, she asked my name, which I eagerly gave her. I asked her name in return and she smiled saying, "It's Sharon, silly. Doncha remember ?" Oh I would remember ! That name was burned in my brain from now until the day I died. And she was so kind, too. She folded up the book I was reading even asking me if I needed to bookmark my place. I had the bookmark in my back pocket one time and without asking permission she stood to the side of me as I was sitting in the chair, reaching her delicate fingers around my side to search for it. I nearly passed out from the tension I was feeling from her light touch on the front of my shorts and then slipping into my pocket, and she giggled as she did it. All the while her pretty sparkly green eyes focused intently on mine, watching the look of confusion and uneasiness on my face as she trailed her touch around the inside of my pocket between my legs, probing her fingers there to see if she could get a reaction. She bit her lip delightedly, never blinking or wavering her gaze on my own eyes. After that I always had the bookmark on the table where she could easily get to it because I could pass out from burning embarrassment on what her fingers were deliberately touching. * * * I think in a way that disappointed her, but I had NO IDEA what to do with these odd feelings she was giving me ! I also remember Dad telling me NEVER fight a girl no matter what, was another reason I didn't fight the girls in the bathroom. She always helped me get my other stuff together too. When we were ready, she took my hand in hers, and talked so nicely to me, really about everything. Silly stuff she saw on TV mostly. Then, as she held my hand, we bee-lined out of the Reading Room straight for the girls' restroom again where the other 3 were waiting for me. And Sharon held my glasses for me, even being kind enough to put them back on my face when they were done with me, patting me gently on my bottom saying, "Scoot." Over time more girls were involved, but Sharon was always there to hold my hand. One time Sharon did lean down to kiss me on my wet cheek after an especially sloppy swirlie, to the disgust of the others. Her kiss burned straight through my cheek where I swear I could taste the flavor of her lipgloss on my tongue. Then she trailed a finger down the front of my slightly damp shirt and said in a sensual voice, loud enough so the others could hear, "Oh, Dev. This is so much fun ! Same time next week, 'kay ... ?" Then she tilted her head and gave me that special smile I was so used to now, biting her bottom lip again as it rolled off her teeth to shows her tongue pushed out slightly before retracting it. A hungry look. The other girls hooted in laughter. I swear my face burned solid black and crispy that day from the fire of embarrassment that enveloped it. She giggled with a cuteness not to be surpassed as I just about passed out from the shyness of my affection for her. I wondered sometimes if she really loved me like as it appeared or if she was just having too much fun leading me on when I confused what she was doing. The days I was in the Reading Room and it wasn't a Wednesday, I began to ponder the thinking and mentality behind the devious little brains of the bullying girls. I don't know why they were even so fascinated with the stupid things ! Toilets were nasty. They scared me, even today, and yet it seemed everyone believed as I went through school that I belonged in there despite my eventual weak attempt at fighting them again and trying to tell them I REALLY didn't like being in there. But that seemed to encourage them even more. And now it's been on a schedule every week for 3 years now, apparently passed by word of mouth from one bully to the next. I never did find out what happened to Sharon when I started the new school year last year as she had apparently either moved away or gotten caught and been expelled. Instead a bunch of boys, my first scary introduction to Scant, came up to me in the Reading Room and he asked if I needed a baby bottle. When I stupidly mentioned yes, hoping they would lead me to my mysterious missing Sharon again, instead they grabbed the book I was reading and ran out with me hot on their heels. When I saw them run in the boys' bathroom I realized too late after I had crossed the threshold of the opening with someone blocking the door behind me so I couldn't escape, that Scant and his cronies were now here to give my first Wednesday swirlie, the start of the new school year. Even though I didn't even bother to fight them, they still roughed me up pretty good the first time. I ached in my joints the next day, especially my neck. As time passed on they weren't so rough and started to focus more on drilling in my head that I actually belonged there. I tried very hard not to think about it as there was no pleasure at all in it without the delicate hand-holding of the girl I loved ... When I first met Tyr and became her boyfriend when I was 9-years old, eventually she caught them onetime and rescued me from their sick torture, beating the snot out of one that got in a fight with her. But Tyr wasn't there most Wednesdays after lunch as she had to go to special classes cause she was a "special" girl. I really didn't know what they meant by that. With Scant as their leader, he never forgot my appointment in the bathroom. While he would usually just smash my face bloody into the metal locker upon seeing me in the hall, his cronies were intent on me knowing my place. And there were always 2 or more of them. I never found them alone in the hall, ever. They would be leaning against the lockers near the boys bathroom giving me mean stares. When they saw me appear around the corner, one darted in the restroom to make sure it was empty. That was my indicator that I was in for trouble. Then the other one would approach and tousle my hair unexpectedly and playfully appearing to others like they were good friends of mine and then he would whisper sinister in my ears, "Where do you belong, Dev ?" I learned rather quickly to nod my head to the bathroom door so they could see THAT was where I needed to be. He'd then give me a mean sneer and push on my back roughly sending me on my way while clapping hands, a high-five, in victory with his mates. and I'd be free of them, at least till Wednesday. But if I didn't, or so much as smiled back at them innocently like I didn't know, or if they just didn't like the way I looked that day, he'd suddenly pull on my arm in a funny way that looked to others like I knew him and he was showing me something and he wasn't hurting me, but still forced me into the bathroom where him and his friends were waiting for me. Once inside they headed for the stall furthest from the door, ushering me roughly inside and locking the stall door behind them as they piled in with me forcing me to my knees by baring their knuckles painfully on my shoulders and ultimately my head in the pot again, for a quick swirlie. Then they'd ask me where did I belong, and then I had to verbally say now, "I belong in here." And I learned after a few times as I was, once again, on my knees over the bowl, I had to volunatrily dip my nose of my own accord into the toilet bowl until it touched the water showing I agreed with the affirmation they drilled into me at random intervals. They'd grin like idiots when they saw that, clap hands on my shoulder congratulating me for remembering, and then finally let me go so I could dry off. That was the only way I could get away from them. The years of the abuse continued, with no way out. I shuddered and tried not to think about it. I focused on and remembered the nice girl holding my hand the year before. The comfort. And that helped. But then I snapped my head back to the present ! Scant was still standing up against my locker, obviously waiting for me, and for all appearances looked like a sincere friend now. While his cronies scowled and muttered under their breath that he was a traitor to bullies everywhere, he resolutely held his look of benevolence looking in all directions for me while quickly jabbing a few of them in their gut for back-talking to him. I approached him, curious to see if he really was done with bullying me. And I knew, in the back of my head, if he was somehow lying about it, I could get even with him. With SIM still inside me, I knew in a short time I would soon have everything I ever wanted, including sweet revenge on him if I so desired it. He saw me approach and held out a hand in sincere friendship. I was SO ready for this nasty Wednesday business to end. I wanted to believe him. I HAD to believe him ! I felt tears well up in my eyes knowing this could well be my last day of swirlies. "Dev, my main man !" he said and grinned wide and pleasantly at me, "Gotta minute ?" END OF CHAPTER 40 Return back HOME You are Earth Visitor #

Author's Note

My captcha was, "maturish." And yes, perhaps you need to be so in order to read this particular chapter. :)

Reviews

[Nyu]

This was sad, interesting and made me very confused feeling wise. Your writing is amazing and how well you can describe these kinds of things. The girl, I wonder what kind of character would fall for someone like that who would hold their hand while letting such horrible things happen. This all made me curious about the main character. Everyone here seemed to have a loose sense of moral. Bullying is sadly such a common thing though, it is a very important subject to describe.

[dw817]

Bullying comes in all kinds, JC, not just at school, at work, and even in relationships that go beyond the codependent levels and means. And I've had those too.

Despite all that happened, I still really would like to know what happened to Sharon - if she even remembers me or ... misses me. :)

I'll post a new chapter to this story on Thursday (06/25/15).

Thanks for your interest, well all have a story to tell. :)

[Wall of Words]

About Sharon: If I'm perfectly honest about it, she's the worst abuser in this whole affair. She's not like the other bullies where you KNOW they're going to abuse you. Instead, she does it in a delicate way that lead you on and encourages you to almost bully yourself by continually putting yourself in the situation.

As for Tyr: She's cute. Nine-years old (I think) is a bit young to have a boyfriend but if you're going to stick up for him like that, good on you girl. XD

And finally: Your writing, as I have said on numerous occasions, is incredible. Your attention to detail, and your way of painting your characters is fabulous. I feel like I was right there beside you, and in some rather horrible spots, I wish I had been so I could've held your hand and helped you through. :)

Great job!
Wall of Words

[dw817]

Tyr in the main story is 17-years old I think. Jed, a friend of mine critiqued early Barrier and said that I should raise the age of the two considering the abuse they go through.

I countered with him that this happened to me at an early age.

He sympathized but said nonetheless, you should make them older, otherwise this is just a story of children being abused. I agreed, but also agreed to have flashbacks occasionally, like this one.

Both Dev and Tyr are 17-years old for all time sakes. And Dev's 18th birthday is upcoming in the chapter to follow.

Thanks. As mentioned attention to detail is easy when you've been there.

At one point I thought maybe it was just a bad nightmare, but my friend Chris who was in high school with me said, no. I was there, you were abused by bullies. It happened ...

[Wall of Words]

Denial, it can be very strong. And I agree that it's better to have the characters be teens. It makes it more of an impact somehow.

[dw817]

There is a curiosity in the upcoming chapter, as mentioned in the 3rd chapter from the first book, Dev has a teddy bear named Teepo. That will be seen again, WW. As he will be turning 18, this - might seem a little awkward, I'm not sure.

[Wall of Words]

I'm excited. You've got me hooked. :)

[dw817]

Oh my, well ... I'm glad you like the story. See you then. :7