Wit & Wisdom - August 18th 2014

A Chapter by dw817

10 Good Reasons to stay Single. (more)

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W&W August 18th 2014

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01.

10 Good Reasons to stay Single.

1. Everything in the house is yours.
2. The only person you have to dress up for is your boss.
3. The only insecurities you have to deal with are your own.
4. The only people complaining about music volume are the neighbors.
5. The only person who goes through your stuff is you.
6. You decide when it's bedtime.
7. You are the master of the thermostat.
8. No-one else will raid your stash of sweets.
9. The only mood swings you have to deal with are your own.
10. Being single and staying single isn't selfish. It should be seen as putting your happiness first.

02. Music is the prayer the heart sings.

03. Show me your kitties ! =^.^=

04. 90% of my socks are single and you don't see them crying about it.

05. My bank is the worst. They're charging me money for not having enough money in my account. Apparently I can't even afford to be broke.

06. I met the man of my dreams last night ... In chapter 4.

07. Contrary to what people may say, there's no upper limit to stupidity.

08. I'm not a princess. I don't need saving. I'm a queen. I got this.

09. A good woman can fight her own battles. That doesn't mean she wouldn't want someone fighting beside her. I was lucky to marry a man that already knew this.

10. Keep calm and carry a wand.

11. I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born, says the Lord. Isaiah 66:9 NEV

12. I don't like going out that much. When I'm out, I think about my couch.

13. Nap all day. Sleep all night. Party never.

14. Women are angels - and when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly ... on a broomstick. We're flexible like that.

15. Sometimes I use words I don't know the meaning of in order to sound more perpendicular.

16.

Teacher: If you have 10 chocolate cupcakes and someone asks for 2, how many do you have left ?
Me: 10.
Teacher: Okay, what if someone forcibly takes two of the cupcakes, what would you have then ?
Me: 10 cupcakes and a dead body.

17. Dear NASA, your Mom thought I was big enough. Sincerely, Pluto.

18. The PAST cannot be changed, forgotten, edited or erased; it can only be ACCEPTED.

19. I love Pandas, they're so chill. They're so chill. They're like, "Dude, racism is stupid. I'm white, black, =AND= Asian."

20. Is there some reason my coffee isn't here yet ?

21. Why did Snape stand in the middle of the road ? So you'll never know which side he's on.

22. When I say, "I'd like to talk," what I really mean is, "I'd like to completely blindside you and unleash weeks of pent up frustration and resentment until you understand my feelings."

23. When it comes to quoting movies and television shows, you're my only worth adversary. And I mean that.

24. Progress is rarely a straight line. There are always bumps in the road ... but you can make the choice to keep looking ahead.

25. My dream wouldn't be complete ... without you in it.

26. FAMILY RULES:
Always tell the truth.
Work hard.
Keep your promises.
Try new things.
Don't whine.
Laugh out loud.
Always say, "I love you."
Use kind words.
Do your best.
Be grateful.
Be kind.
Be proud of yourself.
Say please and thank you.
Remember, you are loved.

27. Alice says, "I knew who I was this morning. But I've changed a few times since then."

28. Throw me to the wolves and I will return - leading the pack.

29. Be the reason someone smiles today.

30. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he or she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas lights.

31. When you read a line that is so well-written, you just close the book and stare at the wall for a minute.

32. I'm a lady with the vocabulary of a well educated sailor.

33. Knowing when to walk away is WISDOM. Being able to is COURAGE. Walking away, with your head held high is DIGNITY.

34. Flâ·neur [French; noun] one who strolls around aimlessly but enjoyably, observing life and their surroundings.

35. Man flu: An illness that causes the male of the species to be helpless and sicker than any other family member. See female, (a cold).

36. How interesting ! You can never find your shoes when you need them yet you can find a tiny piece of onion hidden in your dinner !

37. Purses are just pretty bags that let us be portable hoarders.

38. I'm not mad. I'm hurt. There is a difference.

39. Going to the grocery store just isn't a priority when the fate of a fictional character I'm reading about is hanging in the balance. Reading: It's what's for dinner.

40. I worry that my children will grow up before I do.

41. I'm a perfectionist with a procrastinator complex. Some day I'm going to be awesome.

42. When you ask your Mom if you can hang out with your friends, and she says, "Ask your Dad." and he says, "Ask your Mom." You're like, o.O

43.

Dora: "So what part did you like ?"
Me: "I liked it when ..."
Dora (yelling): "Yeah, I liked that too !"
Me: "I wasn't done yet !"

44. I'd rather be at Disneyworld.

45. Imagine an entire room and it's all bed, no floor. You roll too far to one side ? Don't worry, the bed is still there.

46. My brain has too many tabs open in it.

47. That awkward moment when you don't know why you're in a bad mood - but you just are.

48. If you want to have something you've never had, then you've got to do something you've never done.

49. Friends don't let friends do silly things ... alone.

50. And if a girl is ever mean to you, just tell her she has bad eyebrows.