The Concession Stand - October 15th 2013

Video Reviews: Batman Year One, Wing Commander, Rocko's Modern Life, Dark Corners, Drool, Martyrs, After.Life, Spaceballs, I Accuse, and Alice In Wondertown.

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The Concession Stand    Want to read this in a different language ? Change the TO field to your own country and click the TRANSLATE button after going HERE THE CONCESSION STAND © October 2013 Written by David Wicker Please do not reprint without permission This will be one of my new Tuesday writings and I will add a listing of 10 reviews each time I post an added chapter to this book. These videos will be rated from 1-5 stars additionally. [ CHOOSE A DIFFERENT SET ] * * * These reviews are Rated: EVERYONE Action & Adventure, Superhero, Dealing With Violence, Responsibility (2011) BATMAN: YEAR ONE (PG-13) [1] Fair. Just fair. The story was more about Commissioner Gordon and his family and the crime city called Gotham he entered rather than Batman himself. And as a story about the entrance of Gordon, it was pretty good I have to admit ... but then they tried to build it into something more by introducing Batman and Catwoman and then it totally fell on it's face. With only bits & pieces of Batman, no Batmobile, his bat-belt catches on fire, never saw any use of it, only one scene of Catwoman, and only spoken word of upcoming Joker in the last minute of the video, this spin is definitely not up to standards with any of the Batman videos, animated or otherwise. Certainly not up to Under The Red Hood which was a Dark Knight 5-stars production all the way with awesome re-watch value. This spin just - did not gel very well together. Like it was cranked out for the sake of - hey, it's Batman - and no, that's certainly not a good enough reason just to produce it. Clearly forgettable story. There was only one really good plot piece in it with Gordon's wife when she already knew he was cheating on her and the love she felt for him despite all else, and even then that wasn't enough to already save this mangled plot. Give this a miss, no re-watch value at all which is exceptionally rare for a recent Batman release. But that's how I'm calling it. One star for being Batman, one for the bit on Gordon's personal relationship, and one for high-level animation. Science Fiction, Drama, Action & Adventure, Game To Video (1999) WING COMMANDER (PG-13) [2] I'm not going to say what already has been said. But =THIS= is a good film. Good music, good special effects, good character development, good space drama. I also like the subtle implication there is a kind of forbidden religion and military is so strong there is punishment amongst the ranks including immediate execution - and if you die in the line of duty, you never existed. That's a deep concept. It's worth watching once and it has re-watch value later. I'm - not sure why people think this film is so bad when everything about it is intense and good. Clearly the producers of the movie did their level best to make it as serious and interesting as possible. One star for great special FX and background music, one for good acting, one for strong and believable plot, and one star for being a rare and successful game-to-video translation. Watch this. Kid's Cartoon, Australia, Crazy & Zany, Deadpan Humor (1993) ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE (TV-Y7) [3] Holy Croe ! This is AWESOME ! Imagine if you will, a cartoon series where YOU get to do anything you want. Anything. Where it fixes all the errors from the other cartoon shows where they're not crazy or zany or 'furious' enough, you know the ones, that get bogged down in a story or try to make a point for the youngsters. That's precisely what this show does NOT. It has TREMENDOUS re-watch value and is very easy on the eyes and humor. Watch the 2nd episode, "Sucker For The Suck-O-Matic and Canned" and you will be rolling in the aisles with giggles no matter how old or young you are. It's absolutely hilarious and REALLY hits home regarding human interaction and conflicting personalities and the weaknesses and strengths we each have inside ourselves and how we are uniquely different from one another. WHY it's in the kid section is a bit beyond me because of the humor twinges in the mature area, however, I am more than happy to have found it. 4 shiny gold stars ! One star for animation, one for humor, one for craziness, and one for exceptional re-watch value. Supernatural Horror, Visions Of Hell, Mental Instability (2006) DARK CORNERS (R) [4] Me and Rose saw this last night. It seems to borrow bits & pieces of many horror films without actually being it's own entity. The ending is abysmal and careless. The plot itself, while sorta interesting, doesn't really drag you into it as hard as other good horror films similar to this that have done a better job. It borrows from Eraserhead and Grudge and Hellraiser and Nomads all mixed into one, but badly. One star for a good soundtrack, one star for believable acting. There ya go. Basically a woman thinks she's got someone after her and she goes to see a psych about it. It's got your gruesome bloody bits and nightmarish 'world' scenes but they seem forced and almost comical as they are so trite and predictable. The 'bathroom' in the hell-world was well-made and creepy and coulda been worked on (or she could've been worked on in it) but that never happened. Most interesting part of the film is her lady friend who smokes, she's got a REALLY interesting personality that I'd like to see in other films. But that's it. No kinky stuff or funny stuff either. Just your average angry people and misery and depression and blood and guts. No rewatch value for the film, period. Revenge, Kinky, Destructive Personalities, Murder (2009) DROOL (R) [5] This is a powerful movie. For anyone who feels they have ever grown up in an abusive relationship, or felt their childhood has grown up skewed, you may find some interesting answers here. I'm not saying this film is therapeutic, but it definitely points out some of the ugly points of life, that many of us may have met. We all have terrible secrets of our past. Many of which we still hold dear to us, and we vow to carry to our graves. This film curiously reflects on them. "We are not alone," is the main message of this film. And it is so interesting to find people with such unique views and perspectives about life. Highly highly believable film. A must watch. 4 stars only because it is so terribly depressing with bits of unpleasant humor and saccharin smiles. One star for the mismatched personalities, one for the kinky bits, one for psychotic solutions, and one for definite re-watch value. Horror, Torture, Mental Breakdown, Religion, Revenge (2008) MARTYRS (Hard R) [6] My G/F was frightened by this film. That is an absolute first. She has seen all the SAW films and everything in-between and thought they were great and fun to watch. But was frightened by watching this and said she wish she hadn't seen it ? I saw this as a challenge, so I watched it, carefully, focusing on the story. Very quickly I had to turn off the sound from the continuous screaming and just ran music and subtitles, yet it is not very often I give a high rating to a film that is as morbidly sadistic as this one because it tops them all. Truly, literally, and completely. But it had a message and an important one. First off to clarify, no child should see ever see this film ! I have only come across a few movies like it and this one is definitely on that list. And yet, the perfect perfidy of it shows the shallow depths of human ignorance and blind faith in the symbols of Christianity throughout the centuries of man, and its unraveling and undoing. As Batman was remade into the Dark Knight so is Martyrs remade from H.G. Wells 1984 with a much more powerful and crystal message. Torture to the extreme causes people to see precisely what they want, and sometimes, possibly delusional, beyond that, critically scarring their interpretation of reality. Much like the film, The Happening, the message from beyond has devastating results that must be seen to be believed. It is that important a film to see and it is that terrible for children to see because of prolonged and painful agonizing and deliberate torture. You will likely CHANGE after seeing this film, and I believe it will make you a stronger person. Showing you to hold fast to NOW and be kind to one another and to love everyone with all our hearts in this great Sapphire Earth of ours to the end of your days. 5 stars because that's the highest rating I can give it, and I don't give those out very often. Thriller, Disturbing Nudity, Psychological Madness, Survival (2009) AFTER.LIFE (R) [7] Some will like this film, others may not because of implied pedophilia and necrophilia from the mortician. My G/F loved it as shes into this kind of creepy and weird stuff so it gets a higher rating as she is half my life (pun intended). Rather spooky and interesting premise of a mortician that says he can communicate with the dead and is there to help them on their way. However, is everything as it seems ? Are his young 'patients' really dead and he is talking to them or are they just drugged into paralysis and brought naked before him led to believe that they are only spirits for reasons as of yet unknown ? Star for good camerawork, set, and design, star for good actors and believability, and one more star for a well-thought out plot and leaving you wondering up until the ending credits. Nicely done. No humor, no re-watch value, inappropriate nudity at times, but definitely a curious and thoughtful plot nonetheless. Fart Jokes, Flash Animation, Spoof, Science Fiction (2008) SPACEBALLS: THE SERIES (Soft PG) [8] I hate to write a bad review, especially against actors I truly do admire. I told myself that I would only write good reviews from now on, but this is one that must be made. Mel Brooks is a comedic genius, especially for Blazing Saddles and High Anxiety, and while Spaceballs the movie was alright with no definite re-watch value, this series is downright atrocious, done apparently in Macromedia Flash converted straight to DVD. And all the jokes hit short of their target. If it were at least as raunchy as Family Guy or more suggestive in nature, it might have a prayer, but it is so toned and watered down you would think it was shown on late night cable TV for tweens. It is that washed out in humor. I give it a soft PG rating. I'm glad Mel Brooks enjoyed his fame with the Spaceballs movie but this series denounces him as the comedy king in my book, and that is sad because I have admired almost all of his work prior to this. One star for Mel Brooks. One more for the obvious and considerable time and effort he went through to put this all together - unfortunately a terrible waste. Evil Doctor, Courtroom Drama, Psychotic Behavior, Thriller (2003) I ACCUSE (R) [9] Me and Rose saw this and were MOST impressed at the depth and agony the girl went through to get the doctor accused and finally convicted in a court of law for raping her. The characters were very believable, the story highly convincing. The degree to which the small town protects the doctor is scary to say the least and the LEVEL to which they completely discount her testimony against him is appalling but convincing to say the least. And unlike other films that end early after the bad guy is finally caught, this one doesn't and shows the incredible court scene where the doctor, even after all the evidence is stacked completely against him, somehow pulls ANOTHER demonic rabbit out of his hat in a last ditch effort to prove his innocence that shows you a degree of cruelty and lack of compassion for others not to be believed. Totally mesmerizing. Definitely a 4-star production. The acting was right on the edge of perfection, and the apathy of the police to disregard her and later their intent of finding the truth of the matter once evidence is found leaves you on the edge of your seat. I have seldom seen such a good drama since Kramer vs Kramer. Very nicely done. Definite re-watch value WITH the strength and persistence of the girl to find evidence against a sneaky sexual predator in an outstanding position as the main town's doctor should be a testimony to anyone to stick with it when you know you are right and everyone else is wrong in such a serious set of circumstances. One star for above-board excellent acting, one for courtroom drama (I always like these), one for tenacity of the main female protagonist, and one more for the downright devious and evil nature the doctor portrayed in the film. Variations Of A Theme, Depressive, Prisoner (1991) ALICE IN WONDERTOWN (PG) [10] If you haven't guessed, it's purely in Spanish, English subtitled, and there are zero to no special effects in it at all. Not even references to magic, even stuff that could be easily accomplished by teenagers with wires or strings. It's not in there. There is no re-watch value, and it is a very grimy and dirty town, showing billowing trash on every corner, bugs and filth, and destitution at every turn. It shows sexual situations as well. There are no references to anything in Alice in Wonderland, no Mad Hatter, no March Hare, no White Rabbit, no Red Queen, no Jabberwocky, no Tweedle Dee & Dum, absolutely ... nothing. Matching the story's own description, the town is a prison and everyone in it is miserable, lonely, and angry. It's not good for kids to watch. You have to be an exceptionally hardcore fan of Alice In Wonderland to watch this all the way through. I am. So I did watch it, and now I'm warning you, it has nothing to do with the original Lewis Carroll story except the part of confusion, misery, and loneliness. You would do infinitely better with the 2009 series ALICE, which I rate as a solid 5-stars. One star for good camerawork. One more for good delivery by actors. That's it. Next Tuesday I will do 10-more dreams and alternative between this subject (my movie reviews) and that. Return back HOME   You are Earth Visitor #

Author's Note

If you have a film you'd like to suggest for me to watch and review, or you have some questions about any of these movies or my reviews on them, just let me know in the comments.

Reviews

[annie lee]

I love Rocko big time. Sadly I am a wuss when it comes to horror films -- even horror books. I read "Rosemary's Baby" when I was 19 years old and couldn't sleep at night afterwards. I guess I just think Life is scary enough for me. Others in my family do not feel the same as I. Consequently I have the covers over my head a lot.

[dw817]

When Rose was here last, we watched, "World War Z." Well =SHE= did. I started to watch it with her, then a policeman said, "Stay in your car," and - something happened to him. I didn't want to know what.

I just got up right then, went upstairs to get my PSP and watched that 4th Tinkerbell movie, later delighted to find that Tim Conway was one of the voices in it.

I like 'intelligent' horror films. Just about all of the Hellraisers with real appreciation for the 2nd. The 2nd of the Alien series, and the 3rd of the Halloween series, Season of the witch. The first and 3rd of the Cube series.

Anything involving robots, intelligence, or puzzles will almost always get my vote, horror or otherwise.

[Mark]

wing commander... is that the 'someone set us up the bomb! Fire all zigs!" video game?

[dw817]

Actually Wing Commander first appeared for the PC, then Commodore Amiga, and SNES (I have it there). It's notta bad game, but the latest videogame version of it for the Sony Playstation totally rocks. (I just updated the Wikipedia article on this to include the new platforms).
http://bit.ly/d5X4S6
Watch the opening to Wing Commander 3 the videogame HERE,
http://bit.ly/1aPfiv7
The ENGRISH (note the R) text you are referring to comes from a badly translated videogame called, "Zero Wing." and yes it's a viral video now. :)
http://bit.ly/19SWxdE

[Mark]

ahh.. right zero wing... that was a great video LOL

[dw817]

Truly I've seen worse over at a store called, "Sam's $1 Store." While absolutely nothing is a dollar there (never could figure that out), they carry some surplus Japanese school supplies and while the artwork on them is breathtakingly beautiful (I bought 4-folders one time) there is bad Engrish written on them about your cookie fortune which sorta ruins the artwork a bit.

"Mostly love happy friends dear heart to we."

[Mark]

hahaa all your hearts are belong to we!

[dw817]

Well, imagine if you would trying to speak Japanese using the rules of English. I suspect then they would have something to be amused by as well. :)

[Mark]

I'm sure of it!