The Blue Rose

A Story by dw817

To what lengths will we convince ourselves of the impossible and unattainable ? Today has been a difficult day for me - I relate it as a story.

The Blue Rose

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THE BLUE ROSE
© September 2013 Written by David Wicker
Please do not reprint without permission

A short story on pondering the preposterous

* * *

These story is Rated: EVERYONE

"Are you certain this will work ?" Bill, the 2nd scientist asked to his brother, Phillip, or Phil as he was called for short.

"It should." he replied nodding.

So saying he took the needle and injected it directly into the stem of the red rose. At first nothing happened. Then a shimmer occurred and spread across it's petals. For just a moment the rose was blue, but then snapped back to red after a few seconds.

"So close," Phil commented.

And so it went. Day after day, Bill and Phil worked feverishly night and day determined to change the hue of a single red rose to blue. It would be the scientific achievement of a lifetime - if only they could do it.

There was another experiment the next day. This one involved a special spray that burst outward from a central point.

"It's not paint is it ?" Bill asked worriedly. "That won't fit in with the criteria we were asked to perform."

"Nono. It's a chemical base. Stand back though, I'm getting ready to activate it."

Now Bill and Phil had a little brother named Pip. Pip was, well he was usually just that, a Pip, always in the way, always underfoot, and always getting into trouble.

He had stepped into the room to see what his brothers were doing.

"Whatcha doing ?" he asked with a lisp as he was still quite young yet.

"Get back !" Bill said. And both him and Phil grabbed each side of Pip's arms and pulled him away, and not before time as the device suddenly ejected a load of bright violet goo into the air.

It saturated the flower and had an unusual chemical reaction, a desired one. The rose turned blue !

"Hooray !" Phil said and dismissing Pip entirely went over to shake hands with Bill.

Just then, however, there was a pop, like the sound of a crystal cork and the rose suddenly turned red again, and if anything appeared redder than ever.

"Augh !" Bill said and scooted little Pip out the door.

"What else can we do ?" Phil said scratching the back of his head.

"I don't know !" Bill replied worriedly. "The community will be here tomorrow to see what we've done. They said at any cost we must turn this Rose blue, at ANY cost ! We're already thousands of dollars in debt !"

"There's one last thing we can do." Bill said.

The next day the scientific community arrived. They were to present a blue rose or they would be thrown out, along with all their scientific gobbledegook, banned from the community that brought them here now as far as they had gotten. Despite their long years of research !

They all sat around a long table, seating 6 to each side, and one for the top and bottom. In the center of this table was the nagging red rose. Still in it's vase. The vase itself was multi-colored from all the chemicals spilled around it but the rose - true enough was as red as a tomato.

Just then Bill and Phil showed up. They counted the number of heads around the table. Then without so much as a, "We'll be back." they rushed out.

The group grumbled uncomfortably to themselves until they returned. And when they did, they had a box with several items in it.

Finally Bill spoke, apparently going to shock and wow the scientific community with his words.

"Gentleman - " and he looked to the side to see one young woman with a pen and clipboard, "ah - and gentle lady - you have put it upon us to turn this red rose blue. We have worked on this project for years now and I will tell you now your money has not been put to waste !"

"Today you, me, we will ALL see a blue rose I guarantee you !"

"For now, I want you all to close your eyes. To witness this marvel !"

So saying he opened the box and carefully fitted on each person around the table a set of blue goggles. As he reached the last person, pestering little Pip arrived again.

To keep him quiet, they gave him a set of goggles. Looking around the table Pip, clearly wanting to fit in with the 'big boys' put the set on himself.

Finally Bill spoke, "Now, people ! Open your eyes ! And tell me WHAT COLOR IS THE ROSE ??"

The first person around the table peered at the lone rose still on the table. "Blue." he said. Then smiled and marveled at how this was accomplished.

"Blue," another spoke, "Why it's blue !" "Bless me, it's blue !"

"Congratulations !" clearly the leader of the scientific community spoke and standing up went to firmly shake the hands of Phil and Bill for their accomplishment.

Pip looked. Then took off the goggles. Then put them back on. "But, but - " he tried to speak, but Phil scooted him out the door as everyone realized their life-long dream of finally turning that accursed rose BLUE had come true.

With that there was talk of a great celebration, cake, punch, ice-cream, and maybe even dancing !

With that they all piled out. A few minutes later, little pip re-entered the room. He still had his goggles on. Then he took them off.

He looked hard at that rose and puzzled his lip for a moment. Then lisped quietly in the still room:

"Ith not blue. Not really ..."

* * *

REFLECTION

And now a bit of reflection. I did indeed see my doctor today. And we talked of many things. The least of which were some things I wanted to do, dreamed I could, fully believed that I could do - that - were absolutely impossible. And perhaps I saw this for the very first time in my life.

For one, I couldn't go to the past and retrieve the ones I loved, no matter how much I wished, dreamed, or hoped it.

I couldn't reach the ones I loved today as they are quite insane. No amount of kind words, intelligent conversation, or firm resolution, no matter how benevolent, kind, or compassionate - it is altogether completely and utterly impossible.

And when one is faced with such odds, that you know, and have tried for years and years to convince yourself, and have fought yourself on it, until you are, if you'll pardon the expression, blue in the face.

When all is said and done, years and years of struggling against it, it just - isn't possible.

You - must - let - it - go.

Today, under great anguish, pain, and misery - I let some of my delusions go. I let them vanish, like pink cotton candy in a stream of cool flowing water. The imagery is quite similar. As it is, I am not doing very well right now, and it may be a long time before I can adjust to this new mindset, and what I say today I may not believe tomorrow, I may be a different person altogether. Of this I am certain.

Yet now I feel like someone has kicked out my legs from underneath me. That same feeling you have when you are in an auto-accident and you are lying on the hot concrete and your head is wet from blood around your ears because you were in an auto-accident.

You want to freak out, you want to scream, cry - something. And the policemen and team from the ambulance all show up to reassure you, quietly, with sincere smiles, everything is okay, everything will be alright. Just lie still. Help is on the way.

But you don't feel okay. You don't. You never do !

But know this. These people, these doctors, these policemen, and these FRIENDS of yours, are not being insensitive to your pain. Far from it, they know it, they feel it, they recognize it, and they have LET IT GO. Now it's time for you to.

For your pain alone does not define you, I don't care what you've been through in life, you are better than your pain ! It is how you deal with this pain that determines the course of your future.

At some point in your life, you have to stop seeing things through a comfortable blue veil. You have to stop wearing the blue contact lenses, the blue goggles, the blue glasses, stop using the blue paint, the blue - everything ! See the world for what it is. For God's sake - WAKE UP and see the world for what it is !

Do it for yourself. Because I really feel for me it is too late - that I am asleep - blissfully now, in a self-induced drugged coma, medications provided by my psychiatrist - and I can never awaken from this blurry dream I am in. I am altered.

And even long after I am dead I will still not accept the truth of the world as it truly is - and I won't want to, not now, not ever.

But it's not too late for you ...

THE NEXT DAY (Sep 26 2013)

Rose called just as I was logging out yesterday. She knew something was wrong immediately because I couldn't stop crying. I told her was going on. She said don't do anything stupid. I said, no, I understand.

Then she suggested I take a Melatonin tablet with my regular meds. Now, if you don't know, Melatonin is an over-the-counter 'vitamin' you can buy in any store like Walgreens and CVS.

While most people take them to relax, they knock me out and for most of the next day as well. And - things are always better on the morrow. I don't feel as upset as I was - just - kind of a dull ache in my head, and that's from the session I had with my doctor the day before.

I've had a total of 7-Melatonin tablets over my entire life since I was told about them from my psychiatrist. I took the 7th one last night. While they do completely alleviate thoughts of suicide and feelings of depression with me, they also make me very tired and I dream - oh, do I dream.

And I can sleep for a good 12-hours, which is exactly what I did last night and to today.

I'm sorry - to vent on you like that. J. M. Barrie, the original writer of the, "Peter Pan" story was quoted as saying:

"Tink was not all bad: or, rather, she was all bad just now, but, on the other hand, sometimes she was all good. Fairies have to be one thing or the other, because being so small they unfortunately have room for one feeling only at a time. They are, however, allowed to change, only it must be a complete change."

Yesterday I felt very small indeed, maybe even smaller than her. And perhaps there was only room for one feeling in my head at the time, stricken grief. I still feel very heavy and depressed today, but it's not as bad as it was yesterday.

While I am indeed still going to take this day off and just relax, I will return tomorrow - and have a nice Saturday Surprise for you as well. I will try and answer more comments then too ...