TNP 24 "Inner Thoughts"

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Want to read this in a different language ? Change the TO field to your own country and click the TRANSLATE button after going HERE THE NANCY PRINCIPLE My time in working for the government during the Savings & Loan Crisis of 1990 with a beautiful woman who took care of absolutely everything for me in my employ. And I mean EVERYTHING. © August 2013 Written by David Wicker Please do not reprint without permission [ CHOOSE A DIFFERENT CHAPTER ] CHAPTER 24 - INNER THOUGHTS * * * This chapter is Rated: EVERYONE Tricia looked at me a moment later, narrow her eyes slightly, satisfied she had made her point, that there wasn't anything she couldn't do, and finally left for me to contemplate the power play she just made against me. I sat for a moment trying to figure things out when Susan, my Teddy Bear, spoke to me, as she often does when she has something important to say. "David, she is going to get you one, you know." I shawferred that off getting cross, knowing what she was talking about. "I don't know how she thinks she can ! Imagine a coconut waterfall inside of her house ! How would she do that, Susan ?" She looked at me wistfully with her pretty wide eyes that only got sparkly when she spoke, "I don't know, but she looked very confident she could do it." She stirred in my hand, "Can't we just go home now ?" "Yeah, I'd like that," I told her agreeably, "but let's see what the doctor has to say first." Susan touched her furry paw against my side. "You're being pulled in a direction you don't want to be." she said finally in a mysterious tone, and then got silent again. Her eyes didn't glitter or sparkle with depth any more so I knew she was done talking to me for now. I - didn't know how to explain to others when I was talking to Susan, it just happens. Often she's very nice about what she says but sometimes she can be cruel and critical about me. Sometimes she moves her arms out and touches my nose too, but not this time. And what she said did make me think about my uncertain future. The Doctor re-entered and saw that I had pulled Susan closer to me for comfort. He turned his head quizzically but, being polite he didn't say anything about it. "Okay, David," he began, "We've done all we can. Here's what's going to happen now. You're going to stay one more evening. If there is no relapse, we'll let you go. Oh, and your Father left this note for you too." "Okay." I said and puzzled my lip as he handed me the card. It was a simple over-sized and large index card. I unfolded it and the doctor left the room to give me some privacy to read it. I read it: Son, I have had a lengthy talk with Tricia. I am currently undergoing some tests for a neurological disorder called, 'Parkinson's Disease.' She noticed something I didn't, and it's critical, and needs to be resolved immediately. I'll call you later to let you know what is happening. For now, please listen to Tricia and do as she says. I never thought you would find a spouse on your own and I'm so proud of you, my son. In a way I'm happy and in another way I'm worried about you. 3 out of 4 marriages fail. You probably don't want to hear statistics like that right now, but it's something to consider. Please try to make this marriage work no matter what and call me if you run into problems. The writing continued on the back: You can't live alone all your life. I know this, and despite how your Mother made life hell for me and you and your sister, I miss her, even now. Never forget, I'll always be your Father and I'll always love you, no matter what happens. No matter. What happens. Love, Dad Reading the note made me very sad and I felt tears crease in the corner of my eyes. What was happening here ? Dad was always on top of everything and now it seemed like life was drowning him around the edges. What was happening ?? I folded up the note and put it under my pillow, perhaps to make a wish ? I looked to Susan to see if she had any more words of wisdom but she was just a Teddy Bear again ... for now. I sighed and felt I really was tired. And even though the lights were still on in my room, I closed my eyes - and dreamed. And it was a strange dream ... I dreamed that - I was a kite ! My actual body was a beautiful rainbow kite ! And Tricia was holding the string and I was aloft high up in the air, and it was a wonderful and exhilarating feeling ! I looked all around me. The sky was overcast and there was a strong wind that was keeping me up in the air. She pulled on the string and I darted and soared way up into the air even higher. For a moment I could see the edge of where the rain clouds began and the sky ended. She let go a little and I sagged back down again under the dark cloud's to be greeted by their coolness again. She pulled her hand to the right and I hard loop-to-looped to the right. I laughed. This was great ! I was having so much fun. But then I saw her reach into her pretty skirt and pull out something shiny. I tried to reel my own self in to get a better look but I was still a kite, completely at her command. I didn't have to wait very long to find out what it was she had in her hands. It was a pair of scissors ! Looking straight up at me with a curious smile on her face she -snip-snipped- straight through the string watching to see what would happen ! Suddenly the friendly wind I was in grabbed me hard and flung me all over the place. Without the support from the string I was thrown all over the place ! The sky rumbled with thunder and I saw a bolt of lightning flash behind me. Then as if I were the property of the chaotic and lawless sky now, the wind increased and I flew even higher and higher, tearing in pieces as I went. But I was going away from everyone I loved ! From my Dad, Rose, Tricia ! Everyone ! Suddenly I woke up in a fright feeling so alone that I shrieked out loud ! * * * I looked to see a nurse was already beside me. Apparently before I had even cried out. "Are you okay ?" she asked with a concerned tone to her voice. I nodded. I felt beads of sweat on my forehead and face. It was definitely not a good dream. I saw that she had that same little pill for me on a little tray. "What is this for ?" I asked her. The doctor said I was leaving tomorrow so surely I didn't need any more medication ? The nurse explained, "Well, I was coming in to wake you up to take your sleeping pill." My eyes crinkled in confusion at this baffling logic, "What ... ?" "Doctor's orders." she said and handed me both the pill and water. I thought for a moment. No, this didn't make sense. I could've been having a good dream and she would've come in anyways to wake me and tell me to take my pill so I could - go back to sleep ? I shook my head. Sanity was definitely not working here as far as I could tell. I took the pill and drank the water. The nurse watched to make sure I did. "I understand this is your last day with us." she said in a probing tone. I nodded, not speaking. She continued, "Well, try not to fall down any more stairs, okay ?" and smiled beatifically at me. I smirked until I felt my lips wrinkle up in a sneer around my face. Was EVERYONE in the hospital aware of what happened to me and it was a big joke for them ? "Yeah, I'll try and do that." I finally nodded, grumbling in a cross voice. "Good." she said, "Now get some sleep. You've undoubtedly gotta busy day tomorrow." "Sure." I said. Suddenly I felt Susan wiggle a bit under my arm unexpectedly so I held her still. Sometimes people didn't react well to seeing Susan moving on her own so I didn't encourage her to do that unless we were alone. But apparently her eyes were drawn to the movements and said, "Oh ! And who might this be ?" and looked at me with a perfectly condescending smile on her face. I sighed, "Yeah, umm, this is Susan, my Teddy Bear." "Teddy Bear ?" she repeated. She went over to look at the chart without trying to hide the fact that she was. I knew she was looking at my age. I shook my head. Doesn't anyone my age ever keep Teddy Bears anymores ? Seeing I was not a child she looked back up and smiled, "Well, that's just fine." she said but the expression in her voice led me to believe that she thought I had hit my head considerably harder on the way down the stairs. "Yeah, goodnight." I offered in a grumpy voice. and scrunched down in my covers pulling Susan by her toe to get her under the sheets to prevent any more curiosity from the nurse. "Hmm ..." she said thoughtfully. Finally she turned out the light and left. This time I didn't dream but slept well. Morning came and I was offered a great breakfast, the same as last time. And this time I ate the Corn Flakes along with the good stuff cause I was in the mood for them. After I finished my breakfast, I pulled down my Gameboy and games from the side shelf to look at them a moment and thought to myself. Dad isn't coming to get me. Who is ? I dismissed it and played some of the games to take my mind off of it. After going through them quickly, I finally decided I liked Final Fantasy Adventure which played a lot like Secret of Mana for the Super Nintendo. And while I was never really fond of action games, it was a RPG so I definitely got into it. I was just getting ready to rescue a friend that had been kidnapped in the story on it when the doctor re-arrived to speak to me. I set down the game unit to listen to him. "Okay !" he said cheerfully, "Everything is in order. You leave within the hour. You're welcome to take a shower if you like. Your clothes are on the chair and we've boxed up your cake too, ready when you are, captain !" "Okay," I said but I was definitely confused. "I didn't drive here. How do I go home ?" The doctor beamed a broad smile down to me, "Don't worry ! Tricia, that's a friend of yours, isn't she ? That's what she said. She's coming to pick you up." I was going to ask the doctor why my Dad wasn't coming but I remembered the note and quickly reached it out from under my pillow and held it in my hands wondering if this is the last time I would hear from him in a-while. Dad gave me his explanation, but it still didn't make sense to me. I figured I had better hang on to the card, it might be important later. Seeing I didn't have anything to say in reply the doctor left and closed the door behind him. * * * I got up and set the card on the table in an upside-down V fashion. Then I took a nice shower, used lots of shampoo and soap. Dried off and got dressed in my original clothes leaving the hospital ones in the bathroom floor. I saw when I stepped out that someone had left a fancy hospital bag to carry my belongings. It had a strong plastic smell to it so likely it was disposable for them. I grabbed the bag by the door and put Dad's card in it. Then I scooped all the Gameboy presents off of the covers that Tricia gave me earlier, directly into the bag. Susan still hadn't said anything since yesterday so I picked her up and put her in the bag too, carefully, looking down at her. Usually she didn't like that sort of treatment but she was still silent. I remembered the doctor said my cake would be ready when I was so likely they still had it in the freezer. I looked around. Was there anything I missed ? I couldn't think of anything. Well ... I was ready. I held my bag and opened up the door to let a nurse know. Suddenly however, the door clouted into my forehead as a nurse was trying to step through it at the same time I was trying to open it. I was knocked to the floor. "Oh, I'm so sorry ! I didn't see you there !" she apologized with a look of distress on her face. "Yeah, that's fine." I said rubbing my head. Despite the fact the doctor said I was okay and could leave, that little jolt made it hurt some like it did when I was in the girl's bathroom earlier. I looked to the bag and saw Susan was knocked out of it in my fall. "How do you feel ?" she asked looking straight into my face, distracting me from putting Susan right back in. Well I could be honest and tell her I felt really dizzy and awful right now but that might qualify as a relapse so I said, "I'm okay." "Good." she said and then I looked to see she had a wheelchair. "I can walk." I told her reaching for Susan. "It's hospital policy." she said politely. Seeing I wasn't going to answer she reached around me to pick up Susan and sat her in the chair. "Unless you want me to push your bear instead ?" I looked to her and she greeted me with a toothy mean smile. Why do people have to be so rude ?? I controlled my anger though and took her off the seat and put her back in the bag. For a moment I thought Susan bit me, and jerked my hand back to look at it, but I'm sure it was just my nerves. "No. I'll take the wheelchair." I said in the best voice I could muster at the moment, which wasn't very good, considering. "Good." she said, happy to win the dispute. "Have a seat." and patted her hand in the wheelchair's vinyl padded arc where I was supposed to sit. "Fine." I said and picked up my bag. I looked around one last time. I had everything, and I had the card Dad got me. I wish he sounded happier in it. I wish - I wished a great many things. But now it was the next day and now it was time for me to go. I sat in the wheelchair and held the bag in my hands, but then she said, "Put your bag by your feet." I looked down and saw that there was a footrest wide enough for this so I did so. Then she put one very frozen cake in my hands, still in it's box. The one slice missing out of it I ate earlier. I looked at it for a moment. This cake would give me trouble later. Not only was it a source of argument for Trudy earlier but by me eating only one slice it might hurt her feelings if she found out, and I would have to lug it around besides and likely wouldn't get anymore of it until later that evening. It's not worth it. I paused for a moment, "Can I leave it here ?" I asked her. "It'll get eaten by the staff." she promptly replied looking hungrily down at it. "That'll be fine. I'm - good - I had a piece. I don't need anymore." and handed it back to her. "Are you sure ?" she asked, "A nice cake like this ? It's strawberry isn't it ? You're SURE you want to leave it here ?" "Yeah, that's fine." I said. "Okay." she said, and set it on the table to thaw. I knew she was gonna grab a slice when she got back. "Ready to go ?" she asked me in a more cheerful voice ? I picked back up the bag from near my feet and set it back in my lap. "Yeah, let's go !" And with that she wheeled me out of the room towards the nearest elevator. A feeling of dread for the future passed over me but was quickly dismissed by the hushed whisper of the elevator door closing behind me ... END OF CHAPTER 24 Return back HOME   You are Earth Visitor #

Reviews

[ThoughtsofShyann]

Another good chapteer sorry I am so far behind I have been really busy with school! But awesome job!

[dw817]

No problem, Rose is coming this weekend, Saturday and Sunday, so I doubt I'll be posting any chapters then. And - once I finish up this novel, I'll take a break for a week and then start up on writing Barrier, so - there is no hurry. Take your time. :)

[ThoughtsofShyann]

alright :)

[Riding the Rainbow]

this chapter was really sad for me and David..Dad is not feeling well..the disease is changing him and David noticed..
Most of the nurses are witches and not in a good way..
Can't wait to read more..

[dw817]

Hm ? I'm feeling fine (at least I think I am ?) Not sure how I'm changing. I'm always the way I am - at least when I take my seroquel. And back here I didn't have any.

And no, I don't think the nurses are witches. No more so than when I was in the mental ward. Perhaps they are exercising their authority a bit, but I haven't met any different today when I'm at the doctor's.

I'm working on the new chapter now.