CHAPTER
17 - THE APOLOGY
* *
*
This chapter is Rated: TEEN
It
was my final day at BBI. My eyes were brimmed with tears looking at all
the great greeting cards on my desk in my cubicle. Some were silly
like, "Happy 6th Birthday." and all of them were apparently for a little
girl complete with bits of candy and toys and perfume samples from Avon
I think and magazine clippings and stuff.
As I mentioned
earlier, some had phone numbers on them with little quips like, "Call
me" and things like that, but I didn't dare.
It was no nice to feel wanted - even if it felt a bit misplaced and hurried.
Lunch
passed uneventfully. I had a few of the women co-workers there invite
me to a party afterwards to celebrate my final day but with my bad
experiences at college parties, I wasn't about to attend them and
politely declined.
When I got back I immediately noticed that Barbara
didn't seem to be doing well. I could see from my cubicle that she had
been crying cause her face looked black around the eyes. I learned from
Nancy that when a woman cries and she's got too much makeup on then it
goes all a mess around her face.
Despite my better judgment I
decided to go and see so I went over and knocked on her cubicle. My idea
of knocking on a cubicle which I only did a few times was tapping my
knuckles on the carpeting material of the walls. It really didn't make
any noise, but people saw I was trying to get their attention. And then I
asked what the problem was with Barbara.
She looked up at me and
for a moment I had to wonder if she really was crying because she
greeted me with a mid-second leer which quickly faded, despite her real
tears.
Then her face looked crestfallen. I went over and biting
my lip finally reached my arm out but I just couldn't touch her back to
comfort her because I was so scared so I hovered it there for a moment.
She
looked up at me with a smile and I jerked back my arm immediately.
Finally she spoke and she looked so sad and lonely right then, "We'll
miss you kiddo. You know that don't you ?"
I sighed. I knew there
was good in her after all. I reached out and touched her shoulder
briefly for a moment, which was the best I could do. But she latched
onto my hand with hers and held it there.
Feeling a little braver I offered gently, "It won't be that bad, Barbara.
I knew this was a temporary job when I got it." Then to cheer her up I
said in a more excited voice, "Come lookit all the neat cards I got !"
And
I invited her back to my cubicle but she got very business-like again
and let go of my hand so I returned it to my side, "I - don't really
have time, David. I have to finish this. But I would like to apologize
to you. Will you let me make it up to you after work ?"
I swallowed hard, "Ahhm - in what way ?"
She
smiled back, "Me and the girls are going to a nice restaurant at the
end of the day. Meet me and them outside your suggestion box."
"The women's restroom ?" I asked.
"That's right. That's where we'll meet, okay, hun ?"
I looked to her. She seemed so innocent and trusting now, and she was crying for real. Her face was wet. You can't fake that.
"Sure. Okay." I said. Being treated to a nice restaurant would be a great way to end the day.
"Well it'll be at a quarter after 5. Don't be late or you'll hold up everyone."
"Okay." I promised.
"That's fine. Now why don't we both finish up here." and she went back to her own typing.
I
nodded and returned back to my own cubicle and piled all the great
farewell cards in my briefcase. Well that worked out better than I
thought ! I tore through my typing and brought it to Nancy.
Nancy
did talk to me for a bit. She said the battle wasn't over yet and she
was still going to do what she could to keep me here.
Then she
got up from her desk to give me a big hug and I noticed her whole body
was a lot warmer than mine as if she was seriously stressed, and she was
taller than me too. I half-heartedly returned the hug.
And like before she got crisp and business and said, "scoot," so I could finish my work.
At
5 o'clock I finished up. Nancy didn't have anything extra to add except
to say she was going to be working a little later than usual and she'd
call me at my home to let me know what the situation was regarding
extending my employment.
I got up from my cubicle with my
briefcase in hand and walked down the quiet hallways. I never realized
how much like a sci-fi movie this place was. Then I finally went to
where my suggestion box was and put in my two new suggestions, ending my
employment.
One of which said, "I'd like to suggest I could stay longer cause I'm very fond of Nancy."
Normally this would end the chapter but I'm going to attach the next one on to here so it's a bit longer, so continuing ...
* * *
I
then sat down in one of the chairs out there and a coke machine nearby
started making a humming noise. I was worried I had been tricked and
abandoned, but fortunately I heard high-heeled shoes down the hallway
and to my delight it was Barbara !
"I didn't think you'd make it !" she said with a twinkle in her eye and a smile on her face. I returned the smile shyly.
"What
restaurant are we going to ?" I asked cause I was pretty hungry right
then if the truth be known and likely what I'd have here would certainly
be better than the Ramien brick noodles I was gonna have at my house.
"I - " she began but then corrected herself, "We - haven't decided that yet. Let's wait for everyone else, okay ?" she said.
I
nodded. I looked down at my pants where my wallet has. I had all of
$7.00 with me since I kept most of my money with Dad for safety.
"Well," I began hesitantly, "the reason I am asking is I only have - "
But
she interrupted me seeing finances were a problem for me, "Hey ! Don't
worry about it kiddo, my treat, whatever you want ! How does that sound
?"
"Ahhm ... Sure, thanks !" I said and feeling more at ease, I
pulled out my Conan The Barbarian comic book and started looking at it
waiting for the others. Barbara sat in her own chair, cross-legged, her
miniskirt riding up her and I smelled that kinna girlie perfume from
her, really from everyone I met her, but I was used to it by now.
A
few minutes later some other girls showed up. As usual they were all
pretty and definitely trying to outdo the other on how sexy and
beautiful they were with one outfit after another. And they were all
gossiping and whispering to each other.
I got scared for a moment
and I think Barbara noticed it. She comforted me by saying, "It's okay,
David. They usually argue like that for where we're gonna go eat."
It
was so odd, they were doing this fashion-thingie at this office years
before I showed up. I wondered if some of the girls were attracted to
the other girls for doing it. I'll bet they were and maybe they ... suddenly my whole brain hit a large zero divided by zero trying to solve this ? I shrugged. Girls still scared me so I never
gave it too much thought so I went back to my comic.
Finally
they stopped whispering and one approached me from the front and asked
what I was reading. I said proudly, "Conan The Barbarian."
She
then sat down on her knees in front of me and implored politely, "Is he
really strong, this 'Conan The Barbarian' ?" and she deepened her voice
to say who he was. Some of the other girls giggled but I took that to
be a friendly request.
I got excited now, "Yeah, he's a
superhero kinna, and he always says, 'By Crom !' when he's beating up on
a baddie." and I deepened my own voice to emphasize how he said it.
Then I showed her a picture of where Conan was pulling someone's arm out
and beating him with it.
She laughed at that and got back up off her knees to regard me.
"Are
you strong like him ?" another girl said suddenly sitting down in the
seat to the right of me. As I watched, Barbara suddenly sat down in the
seat to my left.
Now I was flanked on all sides. For some reason my
brain drifted and I thought of chess. Two rooks and one knight and I was
in check. One girl stepped up to pull away my briefcase as I dazed off
but I was more confused about why they were crowding around me right
then.
I was really getting nervous at this so I said, "No
ma'am. I'm not - not really strong like him." The girl ahead of me met
my fearful eyes with her own intense gaze. I felt it important to let
them know I was uncomfortable right then so I added quietly, "I get
scared sometimes - like right now." and I started to get up out of my
seat for my briefcase wondering what they wanted with it.
"Good."
the girl ahead of me said with finality and a flash of light suddenly
reflected off of the ceiling's white flourescent bulb against her
lipgloss and in my eyes in a tight sparkle where apparently she had wet
her lips earlier.
"Huh ?" I asked confused trying to think about her answer right then.
But
I didn't have to wonder very long. Barbara suddenly lunged and pushed
hard against my shoulder to hold me in place. The girl on my opposite
side did likewise. The one standing in front of me snatched the comic
book out of my limp hands. She held it from the edge sideways and
stepped backwards carefully clicking her tongue disconsolately at it,
clearly she couldn't see it right from that angle.
"What a load of horseshit !" she said with disgust in her voice and tossed it over her back to leer at me.
I
felt it was more important right then to defend Conan rather than worry
about what was happening to me so I yelled, "Give it back !" cause I
thought she was gonna do something bad to my magazine and they were
pretty expensive after all, at least for me at $4 apiece.
"WHAT - are we going to do with
you ?" she said. The girl who had my briefcase quickly picked up my
magazine and snapping open the front of my briefcase quickly set it
inside before snapping it closed and setting it neatly against the
opposite wall. I gulped fearfully.
"Doncha mean WHERE are we going to put you ?" the girl on my right giggled.
Barbara nodded and said quietly, "Good one, Danielle."
I looked around twisting my head hard left and right. There wasn't anywhere to go here - except ... ?
* * *
Once
I realized they were all here to shove me in the women's restroom to do -
whatever it was that Barbara wanted - I panicked and started to yell
but Barbara let go of my shoulder and wrapped her arm around my neck and
choked me there for what felt like a minute and I felt reddish and
blurry and dizzy and I coughed.
I blinked my eyes confused
forgetting to yell like I wanted to. I reached my own arms up to try and
pull her off but she tightened her grip on my throat even more and put
her other hand to my forehead. I was definitely burning up now, not with
a fever but with fear.
The other girls watched intently. One
kept looking up and down the hall to make sure no-one was coming.
Finally my head slumped forward and I felt I could pass out from lack of
air, a sickening sleepiness. She finally loosened her grip.
"No
noise or I'll do it again and THIS time I'll KILL you and we'll throw
your dead body in the parking lot, understand ?" she said dangerously,
letting me go so I could breathe again.
"You going to be
quiet now ?" she asked threateningly and tapped a sharp fingernail up
against my throat while putting pressure back on my shoulder again.
I
nodded but didn't say anything and my brain spun trying to figure a way
out of this but since it was starved for air at the moment, I couldn't
think clearly.
"Let's get this over with." one of the other girls said leaning on the opposite wall, apparently bored with the whole thing.
"Patience,
Junie." Barbara said back to her. I could see this was all planned now.
And then Barbara looked back at me, "Not a word from you !" she said in
a deeper and scary tone of voice I had never heard before from her.
I
whimpered loudly for a moment and although she smiled at it she said,
"Ah ah ... not even that. Save it for later, when you'll need it !" One
of the other girls snickered cruelly at Barbara's words.
Then
there was a flurry of movement and a painful wrenching in my arm as the
chair I was sitting in suddenly capsized sideways and I was grabbed by I
don't know how many of them. I felt my arms jerked hard and painfully
behind me and then I was grabbed by my legs. And then I was pushed
headfirst through the women's restroom door.
And by headfirst I mean they
used my HEAD as a battering ram. 3 times in fact, laughing loudly as
they did as my skull made a horrid sound against the metal, and then
they finally threw me against the far bathroom wall as I rubbed my
forehead which ached fiercely.
I sat there for a moment and cried
silently covering my head with my hands to protect myself like I learned
back in High School. I wanted to go home so bad right now and be with
Susan and be rid of this terrible situation !
"God what a
sissy." one girl said meanly as they all piled in the restroom to see me
kicking my feet in front of me which caused me to scoot over into a corner beside the sink. My head was
throbbing painfully like it never had before and I imagine a hundred
aspirin wouldn't do anything.
And ultimately, I really
couldn't argue with the logic of what she said as I was called that name
back in High-School many times when - when - I didn't like to think
about it. I continued to cover my head with my hands to protect myself
in case they wanted to kick me in the face.
"God you big baby
! You're not hurt !" one of them said and the others laughed at how
distressed I must've looked then. I felt my knees start to shake as they
crowded all around me again. Someone took my briefcase and setting it
on the floor, kicked it against the far wall adjacent to me.
Fortunately no one kicked me. Barbara however did lean down and pulled one arm off my head to talk to me.
I
thought she was going to be nice but then she spoke and changed her
voice to sound like Nancy, a rather good impression I thought, and her
voice inflection was almost perfect.
"You need to sit down on
your seat mister and have a good think !" and the other girls giggled
cruelly at her imitating Nancy's words since they were witness to it
when she initially told me this earlier when she was angry with me.
But
I felt this was my queue to leave. I nodded and immediately got up. My
balance was all screwy so I fell down. They laughed some more. I got
back up, concentrating on my balance and started to leave out the
bathroom door but Barbara grabbed me and her voice returned to normal.
"Uh
uhm. Where you think you're going ? Not in the boy's room. Your seat is
RIGHT in there, sweetie." and she pointed to the right of her where
there was the door to a stall.
The door was closed but one of
them stood up opening the door wide holding her hand out extended and
said graciously, "Ladies first." which the others giggled to. When I
didn't move she added angrily, "That means you, twerp !"
I
bit my lip and started crying hoping one of them would say it was enough
what they did already and might as well let me go now, but apparently
not as they continued to laugh at my discomfort.
I turned my
head to look at the commode and one girl, apparently braver than the
rest got up to the side of me and stamped her foot down hard, inches
from my fingers while yelling, "Get in there now little boy !"
And
even though she was shorter than me, it was clear word-of-mouth was
passed since I started working there that I was definitely frightened of
all women in general, even if they were my age or younger or smaller.
I
scrambled up because I'm pretty sure she was gonna step on my fingers
next so I ran to the stall and tried to close the door behind me but Barbara was right there to grab it.
"I need privacy, don't I -
to think ?" I offered, my voice squeaking hard as I couldn't speak
right from the shame they were putting me through, also learning that
from talking to counselors back in High-School about protecting my
space.
"No," Barbara said carefully, "The game we're playing
now involves - TWO people." and the other girls whistled in approval to
that. I noticed one had already pulled out a little Polaroid instant
camera focusing on where I was going to be sitting.
* * *
"Now sit
your butt down !" Barbara said in that scary tone again. Her voice was
so eerie the way she did it that I immediately jumped up on the seat.
It
was like I was in 4th grade all over again in the Reading Room with the
bullies, only this time a librarian wasn't going to bail me out. My
teeth started chattering.
And I felt that weird warmness in
my neck again, like the bones in it were vibrating from tension. My
chest tremored as it involuntarily rippled muscles in it. Nonetheless I
sat down on the seat, which only had the U covering like the school
bathrooms.
"Pull his pants down !" one girl giggled from the
group. Everyone got quiet and stared at her like what she said was
incredibly stupid.
"Whaaat ?" she said changing her pitch in
the middle, trying to defend herself. Someone cuffed her on the shoulder
and murmured under their breath, "God, what are you, 6-years old,
Maggie ?"
"Sorreee !" she said sarcastically and lowered her head and stepped back and didn't offer any further mean suggestions.
Barbara however took advantage of the moment of silence to take the center
stage, "Where were we. No, we're going to do this the RIGHT way. It's
David's last day here. OK. Let's work with that. He has YET to apologize
to me. I think it's time he do it - NOW."
The other girls cheered and clapped their hands.
"I'm
sorry ! I'm sorry ! Really I am !" I said sincerely holding my hands up
for emphasis though in truth I had no idea what I was apologizing for
at the moment.
Barbara looked at me, apparently surprised I
would knuckle under so quickly. There was a moment of quiet before I
added, "Apologize for what ?" cause I really didn't know.
The
girls laughed and Barbara stepped in the stall causing me to bunch up
my legs behind the back of it and my head against the tiled wall. She
put her pretty face up against mine at once and sneered, "You have no
idea the hell you put me through earlier ! I had to make a perfect
a*****e out of myself in 'Nancy's' office to get out of it, so I think
it's only fair that you apologize to the same !"
The other
girls murmured in approval. The girl with the camera stepped forward and
snapped a photo showing me sitting on the commode. I heard the buzzing
of the undeveloped picture as it spat out the bottom. She grabbed it and
started shaking it in the air, encouraging it to develop.
I realized
this could be used for blackmail or something so I covered my face with
my hands but then Barbara smacked me hard on the head causing a weird
pain, so I put my hands in my lap instead, complying. Was it possible I
had a concussion ?
I reached my hand up to feel the top of my head to see if it was bleeding but Barbara slapped it so I put it back down again.
"Just
for insurance, now show me a pretty face." Barbara said holding her
hand flat out against me like I was a platter of something in a
restaurant. She rolled her tongue across her teeth wickedly as she
prompted the girl with the camera to take another snapshot of me now
sitting miserably on the seat.
I understood perfectly. If I
mentioned what they did here they could blackmail me later by showing my
folks, or worse yet - ROSE, the photos they took here. I couldn't have that !
I
put my head down and groaned. The girl with the camera this time came
inside the cramped stall to the side of my and with the camera facing me
said, "Give me more - " and she paused as if she were filming a
supermodel by tilting her head to the side playfully, "PATHETIC !" she
said completing her sentence in a mean laugh and even Barbara giggled at
that statement.
One girl in the group offered, "He can't be any more pathetic than he is now." and one beside her agreed.
Barbara spoke imperiously again, "Oh I think he can, he just needs a little
encouragement !" and she reached for the bottom of her skirt raising it
and turning around to - I closed my eyes. I didn't want to even guess
what was happening. I heard more fabric shift and the light got darker
as if someone was blocking it.
Everyone got really quiet for
nearly a minute and finally the girl with the camera slapped my face and
said, "Goddamit ! Open your eyes, will ya !"
I looked - and
regretted it ... Barbara had indeed bared her naked bare bottom up
against my face. My eyes grew saucer wide in fear and crossed to focus
on ... !
Suddenly my left leg started twitching
uncontrollably. The tension in my chest was causing it to almost vibrate
against the floor. Despite the sweat beading on my forehead I felt like
my whole body was freezing.
The girl with the camera snapped
another shot, this one would be great for blackmail. Without really
thinking I faced the camera and gave a sheepish smile, really hoping she
was done and would leave now.
"That's perfect ! Now work
with me here !" she said complimenting me for my pose, clearly not going
to leave, and tilted the camera 90 degrees sideways to take another
photo. I coughed and twitched my head like that wasn't what I wanted at
all. I knew I was supposed to be sick at my stomach at what I was seeing
and yet ... something - a memory from years ago twinged at the back of
my brain.
Something from my distant past cried out to me - a
weird feeling - maybe from when I was younger. I couldn't describe it -
except that it was a metallic cube being pressed on all 6 sides by
perfectly round silver balls.
And the resulting cube was a razor-sharp
horror object that I had to balance on the tip of my fingers, that kind
of feeling, and the fear it would fall and cut me badly - and that I
would die if I couldn't keep it balanced.
Everyone got quiet
in the room seeing where my gaze was drawn to and Barbara realized it
was now my turn to apologize to her - as it were.
She looked
carefully around her shoulder and backed up some more until my head was
pushed up against the back tiles as far as they would go. As for me, I
thought hard on the repressed memory in my head and why it arrived
unbidden now at this bizarre and clearly insulting time. Was I losing my
mind ?
"Hey," the girl with the camera spoke a little concerned seeing a scary change in my face. "Is there something wrong with him ?"
END
OF CHAPTER 17
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