My time and life in working for the government during the Savings & Loan Crisis of 1990 with a beautiful woman who took care of absolutely everything for me in my employ. And I mean EVERYTHING.
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THE NANCY PRINCIPLE
My time in working for the government during
the Savings & Loan Crisis of 1990 with a
beautiful
woman who took care of absolutely everything
for me in my employ. And I mean EVERYTHING.
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This chapter is Rated: TEEN
Arriving
back home I saw I had a message on my answering machine. It was Dad and
he wanted me to call him so we could do some shopping for clothes for
my new job.
Now, it's important to mention, I never told Dad that my job there was
going to be temporary. I didn't want to dash his hopes asunder,
especially from all my other attempts of me holding onto a job in the
past and failing miserably at it. I was glad - really glad - to have anything at all right now.
So I kept quiet and with high spirits, we got together and did some shopping for nice clothes in Montgomery Ward's.
I told Dad that what I was wearing at work was apparently not good
enough and had to be tighter fitting. Dad laughed and said did they
think I had a Dunlap problem ? I was perplexed at that. He explained,
"You know, where your belt done laps over your belly ?" and then
laughed.
Oboy. It was bad enough at work without Dad taking jibs at me as well. I
shook my head frustrated and said that Nancy insisted my pants just not
have creases in them. No creases at all. Oh, he said ? And then he
reached a finger on the inside of my pants and tugged on them to compare
something.
He then commented what I was wearing was Oxford and that she probably
wanted something called Broadcloth which was hard to wrinkle because of
it's unique design.
We went into a more expensive part of the store, where they had
brand-name designer clothes and picked out something. I entered the
changing room to try them out along with some tastefully done business
shirts with cuffs.
The first thing I noticed is, the material was considerably thinner than
regular dress pants I had, almost like a silk handkerchief. I held them
up to the light and swear they were partially transparent as well.
I swallowed hard. However, I didn't want to be on the wrong side of my
manager Nancy so I put them on and felt the material snug around me. I
looked in the mirror. Sure enough, no wrinkles or creases, despite
apparently hanging on that clothes rack for some time now.
I stepped out and Dad gave me a rewarding smile. I imagined myself to
look like something out of James Bond so I clasped my hands together and
posed with both index fingers extended in a mock pistol. I spoke in as
deep a voice as my years would allow, "The name is Bond. James Bond."
"My aren't you dangerous ?" Dad smiled, glad I was finally employed.
Then he looked at me. "This is fine. We're just going to buy one for
now. They're pretty expensive and this =IS= coming out of your own
account for now. Let's see how this works out first and if they like it
we'll buy some more later."
I nodded and Dad put it on his charge card. I went home, dabbled a bit
more on my Doomsday BBS, the one I wrote in QBasic 1.0, and then finally
got to sleep with fitful dreams involving cartoon characters beating me
over the head with rubber hammers because I wasn't doing my job right.
The next day I had a quick cup of coffee, fought traffic again and
bee-lined straight to Nancy's office already noting the telltale yellow
stickie on my screen. I almost ran.
"Yes ? Come." she said when I knocked. I entered.
Nancy then gave me a most disarming smile. She got up from her desk to
look at me. She walked around me, looking for wrinkles in the fabric,
and I hoped there weren't any. She tugged a bit on my belt, both front
and back, hummed appreciatively as she watched the fabric snug to my
waist.
She walked back around to face me. She spoke nodding, "David, these look
good on you. Very professional. I'm impressed. This will do. See to it
you are dressed this nicely every day you are working here."
As she faced me and spoke I noticed her eyes flicker down more than once
at my waist. I didn't dare look down to what she was looking at but I
knew my fly was buttoned, I check that every morning. For a moment I
felt a dread of the horrid "Tippy Top" rule regarding my zipper but I
would check it when I left.
She finally waved her hand away, "That is all David. We're going to have
a busy day. Scoot." and before she could take a swat at me again, I was
already out the door. I heard her laugh politely behind me knowing
that's what I feared.
I stepped out of her office and looked down. No, my zipper was clearly
at the top, the 'Tippy Top' I hoped. I did see unlike the other pants I
wrote the other day that these did indeed snug tightly around me and -
certainly she wasn't looking at that ?
I shrugged and started to walk back to my desk, but I still had plenty of time.
As I did I noticed the women from the other cubicles greet me with
smiles. They were definitely not just friendly but -hungry- looks with
the same curious rapid flickering of their eyes going down quickly and
then back up to my face. I felt a little sick now, like my belly was
turning over queasily.
One women subtly licked her lips, her eyes trying to pierce my own. I
hurried my steps in the awful black shoes I had, not really designed for
running, to get past the invasive stares and back to my own cubicle
safely.
I sat down and saw I still had a bit of time before 9am. Then I heard
the whispering from the women. Nothing distinct but they were definitely
going on about something. I felt my forehead sweat up and I tapped my
fingers uncomfortably on the desk in front of my keyboard.
Finally there was the 9am horn sounding the start of the day and I flew
into my work to disregard the earlier feelings of queasiness.
Now maybe it was because of these damned tight pants or something but my
bladder felt full from the coffee I had earlier. I knew I wouldn't be
able to make it to lunchtime so I got up to excuse myself, only to
realize, I was supposed to see Nancy anytime I needed to use their
facilities.
I bit my lip torn between indecision. I hated the stupid 'bathroom
escort' thing they had here but I knew I would get in trouble if I
didn't see her first. I sighed and went to see Nancy.
"Yes, David. What is it ?" she said a little uninterestedly going over some papers on her desk.
"I need to use the restroom please, miss Nancy ?" I said in as polite a voice as I could muster.
A paper fluffled on her desk for a moment like shot from a gust of air, but her tone maintained a direct evenness. "Do you now ? Just a moment then."
She then went to her computer and looked up something. I sat for about a
minute and finally felt my legs tighten up and squeak in my seat. Nancy
was ignoring me again ?
I coughed a little impatiently. Suddenly she froze up to look at me with an almost angry expression.
"Oh very well." she said as if I was giving her total heartache somehow
and she tapped her intercom. "Get me Jeanette." When the woman answered,
Nancy turned her chair around again so she could talk to her privately.
The phone cord once again wound around the back of her tall black
chair.
I bristled at the name. Wasn't that the same woman who I talked to on
the phone for an opening interview to work here ? Suddenly the phone
clicked dead, her conversation finished, and Nancy whirled her chair
around then so fast that I swear she thought I was staring at her,
trying to glean the conversation, but I wasn't.
I was looking down at my hands, uninterestedly.
Nancy hummed thoughtfully at this, and then attended more papers on her desk.
A minute later there was a knock on her door.
"Yes, enter." Nancy said crisply.
Jeanette stepped in and stood rigidly at attention, "Jeanette reporting for Bathroom Escort, as requested Miss Nancy !"
Nancy bit her bottom lip. I didn't know if she was trying to suppress a
laugh or if she was instead impressed by Jeanette's professional
demeanor. Nonetheless Nancy reached over to a blank clipboard and had a
sheet nearby to put on it. Then she handed Jeanette the clipboard and a
pen.
Apparently I was going to get graded again for my performance.
"Yes," Nancy said slowly watching that I was observing everything now. "That's fine. Run along, David. Scoot."
Jeanette clicked her feet together in an almost salute. She certainly
was at attention. I was frozen in my seat. Finally Jeanette offered,
"This way, David."
I got up, feeling as if I was somehow stuck to the seat by static
electricity, likely due to the new material in my pants. As I stepped
out of Nancy's office I then paused to see Jeanette lingering behind me.
I had expected her to lead the way so I stepped aside to be a gentleman
and follow after her.
"Is there a problem ?" she asked with a bit of irritation in her voice still staying a few feet behind me.
"Aren't you leading, Jeanette ?" I asked politely in reply.
"You know the way, don't you mister ? Go ahead now. Time is money !" she
said and held her hand out again for me to lead the way.
I shrugged and started to go that way. I noticed as I walked that
Jeanette followed behind me. And I mean that literally ! She was no more
than a foot behind me following my every footstep.
I could smell her perfume and occasionally the hairs on my neck bristled
as I felt her own hair against it, it felt like she was standing THAT
close to me, almost mirroring my strides.
I winced uncomfortably but finally we arrived at the restroom in
question. When I finally got to the restroom door, I stopped. Jeanette
came so close to me, I felt her brush up from behind me before she
suddenly stepped around.
She then turned to sit in the seat nearby. She held her clipboard ready.
I realized that I would be asked questions of 'Company Policy' again
but this time I was ready for the foolishness.
I went in and went to the farthest stall, once again a small distance
since there were only 3, and unzipped my pants and didn't pee. I waited
for her to interrupt me. But she didn't. It was quiet. Well, maybe this
would be one time I could go in peace ?
I started to do so but then was interrupted by her shrill voice, "David ! What is the interim policy regarding two personages passing opposite directions in the same designated hallway ?"
D****t ! I was getting tired of this but I didn't want to lose this job,
no matter the cost. I answered back and yelled in my best sincere voice
as if her question were somehow vitally important, "To maintain at
least 4-foot distance from each other to avoid unnecessary collisions, ma'am !"
Jeanette gave an appreciative whistle and then commented quietly, "Very
good, David." and I heard her writing in her clipboard, apparently
complimentary remarks, or so I hoped.
Well, chalk one down for David ! I thought to myself, and finished
peeing with no more incident. I thought carefully. Tuck in my shirt.
Check. Zip my zipper to the 'Tippy Top.' Okay, I did that. Check. Wash
hands thoroughly, front and back, and between the fingers, plenty of
soap and water. Check !
I stepped out and she was immediately upon me with a serious expression.
I was certain I did a good job this time. She was all business and
carefully walked around me clicking her tongue like she was deeply
dissatisfied.
"Everything okay ?" I finally ventured.
She answered back at once, "Nossir. It is not okay. Tell me, what do you know of the 'Tippy Top' rule ?"
I sighed, "To have my zipper at the tippy top."
"Yessir." she said agreeably, but then asked angrily, "But is that where you have it right now ?"
I looked down. I really didn't think I could pull my zipper up any further without breaking it. "I think so."
"Nossir." she said contradicting me. "It's sloppy and I can see a wrinkle there. You go back in there and do it again."
"Now ?" I said. I was getting a little tired of this.
"Now !" she screeched in a new unpleasant tone I hadn't heard before.
For a moment I thought I heard someone start to walk down the hall so
rather than meet them I ran back in the bathroom then looked down at my
zipper. It was zipped to the top. Or so I thought.
But maybe she wanted the little metallic copper flap down instead of up
as it was now ? Was it that much of a difference ? I looked down.
Currently the flap was up cause that's the way I had pulled it.
I aggravated in my thoughts I carefully lowered the flap down and tugged
on the hinge making sure it was at the 'Tippy Top.' and then stepped
out again.
If I thought she was cross before, she was livid now !
"Just what the HELL did you do mister !?" she asked accusingly without even looking to see where I placed my zipper.
"I did what you asked." I said, but now I was beginning to wonder what was wrong now.
"Nossir." she said denying me any chance of a victory here. "Maybe you
don't understand. I'll tell you this carefully. Your zipper is dirty.
After you tuck in your shirt you zip your zipper to the TIPPY TOP,"
(and her voice was shrill again), "then WASH your hands AGAIN. There are
no exceptions. Now get back in there and do it the right way and STOP
WASTING MY TIME !"
I looked at her incredulously. This was getting out of hand but I didn't
dare disobey, not at this point. My head tremored just a little bit - was insanity finally settling in ? But I went back in, and did as she said.
I undid my zipper. Tucked my shirt-tail in. Zipped my zipper to the top
again. And then washed my hands thoroughly. Then I stepped out.
I saw her busily writing on the clipboard. Quite a few red X's this time
I noticed. I tried to look further but then she turned the clipboard
over and sat it face down in the chair ending whatever curiosity I had
about it.
"Let me see your hands." she said imperiously.
I showed her. She turned them over in her grip, rubbing her fingers all
over them as if a small micron of dirt might fleck off, which of course
it didn't. She then tapped my hands nicely twice, as if that was a
signal to me of affirmation and said, "Your hands are washed correctly.
Well done."
Then she started to walk around me. On her 3rd circuit she suddenly
surprised me by patting me on my bottom twice which bristled all the way
up my neck and then said in a complimentary tone, "Your shirt-tail is
tucked in correctly. Well done."
Then she went to face my zipper. I knew I wasn't going to get this part right for her. I didn't know why I just did.
Her voice got very quiet and tight and her eyes looked like dangerous
slits razor-thin knives could fit through. "No. With your permission
sir, I will show you the CORRECT way to zip up your zipper as it is
still unacceptable."
I really didn't want her fingers anywhere near me now as angry as she
appeared, so I didn't say anything as I thought of some way to get out
of this predicament. I made a sound - I don't think - it was altogether a
word - more like a whimper.
Her tone got threatening with this and she added, "A sloppy zipper will
be detrimental in my report for Nancy. You don't really want that, do
you ?"
I shook my head. Apparently that was the green light for her so she then got down on her knees and sat in front of me.
"Stand up straight against the wall !" she demanded.
I straightened my back and flattened it against the wall giving it about
a foot of distance and then put my hands at my side helplessly.
She added, "You had better pay attention to this and learn it the RIGHT way or I will definitely write you up !"
She then scooched closer and closer on her feet and legs until her
knees were actually sitting on my toes, a little painfully I might add,
and then slowly unzipped my zipper all the way down where my underwear
showed and bulged out a little. I felt like I could die of embarrassment
right now !
Then she stuck her face right up against it until her nose almost
touched the fabric and stared at it for like a full minute breathing
heavily with a terribly fierce expression on her face as if her face was
going to explode with rage and anger from the mere sight of it.
It might've appeared funny to someone else but then her voice was shrill
and serious like a drill sergeant, and it really frightened me, in
truth.
She looked up at me and pointed accusingly at it with one finger like it
was positively the last straw and said in a tight and angry voice,
"This is incorrect sir ! Your zipper is clearly DOWN ! It is
UN-ACCEPTABLE !"
Apparently her voice was so loud it attracted the attention of two women
who decided to walk down the hallway we were in to determine what the
commotion was.
As they approached one politely asked what on =Earth= Jeanette was doing
with my zipper down obviously seeing my underwear up in her face as I
was jambed up against the wall.
Jeanette turned her gaze and said in a polite but firm voice like she
was trained in military, "I am operating under Nancy's strictest orders.
I am his authorized bathroom escort for today and I am showing him the
proper way to zip a ZIPPER to the TIPPY TOP !" and she emphasized the
last words and her voice dripped with severity.
Both woman looked perplexed for a minute. Then one of them stepped up
closer to me, to lean her head down tapping her chin in concerned
thought with two fingers at the sight of my exposed underwear and nodded
her head as if it were a very grave and serious sight indeed to see
such an imposing thing in the hallway.
The other stood at a distance seemed afraid of me and my exposed
underwear as if it were contaminated or something but nonetheless
commented on the importance of the Tippy Top rule regarding all zippers
in any article of clothing.
"What ?" the other woman said, apparently not hearing such a rule ?
"You know, the Tippy Top rule !" her friend said, a little angrily who continued to keep her distance.
And then she started reciting like from a rulebook the strangest and
most bizarre law I had ever heard about zipping a zipper to to the top
and then she went on about the importance of cleanliness and hygiene and
how it improves productivity and by what percentage and in in what
department and ALL the crazy details involved !
And as she babbled on about it, the other girl stood up suddenly, her
face went blank, rather frightening really. Then she suddenly shook her
head to the left and right as if she were shaking a live moth from one
of her ears. I dearly hoped to see one flutter away at this point to
explain the insanity, but one didn't appear.
And finally she straightened up, she seemed okay again and then she
shocked me with a half-curtsey like I had seen in old TV shows and then
one to my escort as Jeanette was still on her knees in front of me
glaring at the offending underwear.
I smiled weakly at the other woman who recited the
unbe-freaking-lievably complex rule. She then said down to Jeanette in a
crisp voice, "Very well, carry on, ma'am."
And the pair continued walking down the hall talking to each other
politely about reports they were working on and had no further comments
about the Tippy Top rule of zippers, my bathroom escort, or hygiene for
that matter.
After they vanished around a bend in the hallway, my escort continued
her tutorial, "I am now going to show you the RIGHT way to zip up a
zipper, mister."
She leaned forward and grunted with extreme effort and put her head
against my chest pushing all her weight against me. I grabbed the wall
behind me because she was shoving me so hard she threatened to topple me
over !
She grabbed my zipper with one hand and held on tightly with her other
hand and then pulled it up as hard and fast as she could as if it was
something truly terrifying to her and had to be done as quick as humanly
possible, catching me rather painfully on my crotch in the process !
As I gasped in pain on the zipper as it caught more than just my underwear, she clicked her tongue disapprovingly.
"That is just terrible sir," as I floated my hand over my crotch,
letting her clearly know that I didn't want her to EVER near there
again.
Then she added, "Go back in the bathroom and fix that mess and come back
out and we'll see if you can't do it the RIGHT way this time." as if
the whole thing were somehow my own fault.
I did as she said and came back out. She tried the same thing a few more
times, but if she didn't hurt me, by a miracle, and I had done
everything in the correct order I was supposed to, then she continued.
With the zipper completely up she leaned her face up against it, once
again almost touching it with her nose, and stared at it for a full
minute.
But instead of being filled with rage when the zipper was down, she gave
me this goofy smile like a zipper zipped to the tippy top was the most
important thing on the planet and she was pleased as punch at the sight
of it.
I was about to comment, "This is good then ?" but she interrupted me
before I could say anything.
She continued her bizarre and seriously
shrill voice again while pointing an accusatory finger at it, "This
zipper has been zipped CORRECTLY, sir ! It has been zipped to the TIPPY
TOP. It is ACCEPTABLE, sir !"
And then apparently not believing I understood the difference she
unzipped my pants again taking a good long moment to stare at my exposed
underwear with apoplectic rage once again like she couldn't be any more
furious at the sight of an undone zipper and - whatever lay beyond.
Then she pointed at it again and shrilled, "This zipper is clearly DOWN. It is incorrect. It is UNACCEPTABLE, sir !"
She continued to stare at it, for a full minute mind you which really
made you feel uncomfortable, before continuing to zip it back up again,
as hard as she could, remember by leaning her full weight up against me
and her head buried up against my chest.
And if I survived her instruction, then she smiled beatifically at the
perfectly zipped up zipper. She did this a few more times.
Finally, she barked up at me, a little out of breath, "Do you understand or do I HAVE to show you again, sir !?"
I didn't know how she expected me to zip a zipper like that cause I
couldn't lean against my own chest and do it the way she did but I
certainly didn't want to detain her or my own self any further from this nonsense.
When she finally agreed that I understood fully, she patted me nicely
twice on my crotch with the flat of her hand, all zipped up, to the
TIPPY TOP I might add, to show it was correct, and spoke to me in a tone
that indicated we had just done something immensely complex for the
brain to comprehend.
"Good job, sir, I know this is difficult for you to understand. it'll get easier the more we do it."
I felt a really weird headache coming on, anticipating future days where this bizarre ritual would take place. Surely not.
And then she stood up suddenly tapping the flat of her hand fiercely
under her bosom almost as if saluting me in the military and said, "I
understand your name is David, sir. I hope in the future you will call
on me as your chosen escort as I am very happy to assist you in you all
of your bathroom duties during your employment, SIR !"
And then she handed me a business card that had only her name on it, "Jeanette." and nothing else. No title whatsoever.
She continued in the same serious tone, "Please check with Nancy if you
have any questions regarding these arrangements, sir !" Then she stood
up, spread her legs so they were a slight inverted V and tucked her hands behind her, all very serious.
I bit my lip trying my level best not to smile. She was rigid and at
attention, perfectly dead serious in her statement. This appeared to be a
very important position indeed for her and I hesitated to think what
could be a lower position than a bathroom escort for an employee at a
government workplace such as this one.
"Thank - you ... ?" I finally said as evenly and politely as I could.
"Yessir," she said in reply, finally clapping her hands back down at her
waist, mechanically. "Now let's get you back to your cubicle, sir."
Then she went to report to Nancy regarding the results of my washing, my
shirt-tail, my zippering ability, and my answers on company policy she
asked me while I was in there doing my business.
They are a stickler for rules arent they. Its allmost unbalivable. But it does make for a good story. Sorry not laughing at you its just the story is....well lets see were it takes us shall we. Good stroy Im loving it.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thanks, Ron, and yes - they did seem to want to keep order. I'm going to take a break here in a bit,.. read moreThanks, Ron, and yes - they did seem to want to keep order. I'm going to take a break here in a bit, but when I return, I'll post a new chapter then, the bomb scare.
OMG!
I'm ready to get sick!
ABUSERS!!!
Hope you reported this because it was completely wrong.
If you were the one doing that to her, she would have gone to the police and reported this as sexual harassment.
WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
You have to understand, Kejara, I really didn't know much about legalities, and it wasn't just at th.. read moreYou have to understand, Kejara, I really didn't know much about legalities, and it wasn't just at this workplace where I was teased. But the other places like Burger Street and Whataburger when I worked there - much worse teasing than here. This also happened at a less dramatic level when I worked for an Internet company years later, C.I. Host.
I was to handle the phone and update the database to the new system they were using. While it wasn't all women, I was placed in an area where I was the only guy for the full room, and it happened again, but not so badly as my boss was a guy and watching some of it. But he hated me cause I was always coming to him to ask what else I could do as I guess I typed too fast for the workload I was given.
There was definite discrimination when I worked at a database company. They refused to give me back the videogames I wrote saying it was their property since I wrote it on their computers. I said I finished the work they gave me. They said that doesn't matter.
That's just the way I am. Back then I hated to be idle on anything. Of course I was also taking a different anti-psychotic that doesn't wind me down as I am today.
LOL. That was so WRONG!! My eyes were probably wide with shocked disgust with the way those woman were so OPEN about it all. Class? Yeah right!
I feel so sorry you had to go through that embarrassment....
Great writing...
Sylvia.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Really it wasn't as bad as what I went through in school with bullies and Tyr. That was a lot worse .. read moreReally it wasn't as bad as what I went through in school with bullies and Tyr. That was a lot worse but I work that into Barrier. I'll post another NP chapter today.