Poem - Legends

L E G E N D S     Want to read this in a different language ? Change the TO field to your own country and click the TRANSLATE button after going HERE L E G E N D S © July 2013 Written by David Wicker (Please do not reprint without permission) This is a way tripped-out bit of poetry I wrote back in Grammar Class for a competition when I was 14-years old. I think it is so strange and creepy that I can remember it after all these years. While it may be better set for Halloween, I thought I would get it out now while I still can recall it. Oh - and it didn't win. I think my teacher, Mr. Simmons, was disturbed by it's content too.   Twas the Eve of Legends, dismal, gray. It seethed the scorching sun away. No soul was resting but yet did watch The Clock that grinded every notch. The sky was darkening, the hour was near ! When the Legend Grith would soon appear. The Moon had turned a sickly green While the People listened with ears of keen. A mighty roar shook Temple and Town So the Legend Grith could claim it's ground. Of all the wars the People held The Legend Grith did weep and wail: "How can it be ?" it did exclaim, "That Mortals still theirs wars proclaim ?" It then rose Heavenward to the sky And the People heard a tiny cry. A cry of Foolishness and of Death So that the People knew what it saith. The Moon turned Blue like once again And the People did mourn for all their Sin ... Return back HOME   You are Earth Visitor #

Author's Note

The very first poem I wrote (and can remember).

Reviews

[Robert Lindsay]

Its got a good old fashioned storytellers style to it, building up suspense step by step. It describes a typical god myth with the mind of a teenager who can mix in the persona of an unpredictable superhero into that. Leave the typos in its a little piece of your writing history. I vaguely remember my first poem at school. The teacher gave us all a fruit and asked us to write poems on them. I kind of got the gist of what he wanted from us. I described an orange as a 'dying sun' and got high praise. I felt I'd learnt the lesson of pressing the buttons of peoples expectations.

[dw817]

I know Mr. Simmons was mad that I used the words Legend Grith. He wanted me to describe what the Grith was and I said a monster. He said what kind of monster. I said I dunno a really super scary monster okay ? After that he said my poem was too abstract and didn't give it a good grade and naturally for the competition, it wasn't even considered. But I still remember it cause of it's strangeness.

I'll write a whole bunch more creepy stories around October from my dream set I call, "Campfire Tales." They are much too spooky for this nice July weather.

[Robert Lindsay]

hehe poor Mr Simmons. He probably thought you were going off at a tangent. Spooky imagination is an interesting genre. I vaguely remember some sort of spooky TV I saw as a kid. It didn't major on horror and blood: 'Tales of the unexpected' or the 'Twilight zone'. Meanwhile David Lewis Paget here writes good spooky comic yarns e.g: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Dawei/1208053/

[dw817]

Just checked and commented on that writing. And yah I CAN go off on a tangent or as my personal friends say I'm being a pip or a smartass - or what have you. :) I can't help it sometimes, I gotta busy brain ! :)

[Red Brick Keshner]

Goulishly delicious, David! There is a definite flow, almost structured, even, like the prologue to Thriller. There are a few typos but what can be expected. What surfaced was the sheer terror that frightened Mr. Simmons away. Poor chap. A thoroughly enjoyable read. Salute to the 14 year old poet. And as you raise the bar, without contrivance; remember your milestones and celebrate them whenever you can. Have a good one. Thanks for sharing a bit of your writing history. /Frederick.

[dw817]

I appreciate the sentiment, Frederick.

Mr. Simmons was especially not fond of the word, "Grith." He said if I can define what it is he would raise my grade a letter.

Yet ... I really didn't know. The poem came to me in the middle of the night. It was like a manifestation of all of man's evil, corporeal.

I told him this and he wasn't satisfied. Nonetheless it is -almost- the very first poem I had written.

The first one I wrote when I was 8-years old and is beyond silly and immensely short.

Thanks for the review !

[Zahra]

very interesting. Nicely done

[dw817]

Thanks, IHAVE, I'll certainly check out your works as you appear to be a poet yourself. :)

[Wolven]

Woah!
I'll be honest, whilst modern stuff is all well and good, I have a soft spot in my heart for the ancient things, and mythology. This is one such example, and i love how you used almost old-english style words to tell it, it gives the poem a kind of edge that a lot of them lack these days.
Really excellent work David! I love it!

[dw817]

Glad you like. As you're honest with me so I will be with you. I'm not really that good at poetry. I think some of my best writing is in fact stories - however, time will tell. I may come across some more of my old poems as I sift through my text archives. I still have several disks and folders to go. :)

[MandaBear]

This is an awesome poem you really did a wonderful job =)

[dw817]

Thanks ! I'm not very good at poetry, all that rhyming can get complex, the rhythms and schisms and so forth. Anyways - if I can find any more of my poetry, I will certainly post it.

[Hatchling]

Wow! Amazingly written poem

[dw817]

Good that you liked it ! :D Poetry is definitely not something easy for me to do. I can dig around, I know I've done some more, but my real skill lies in writing where it doesn't have to rhyme.

[Nikkiela]

This is a really nice poem :D I'm not much of a poet but I love the rhythm and the rhyming! ^^ I also loved how you used the words, really well done. I can't believe you remember a poem all the way back when you're 14, I can barely remember what I said 5 minutes ago! @,@

I'm curious but is there a purpose for the bold capitalized letters?

[dw817]

Glad you like it !
The bold capitalized letters do have a meaning, and we can go through them.

Eve of Legends
As near as I can remember from the dream I had the night before, Legends was a type of judgement day for mankind, a time to be feared and revered both.

Ticking Clocks ... They always scare the peeled grapes outta me, they're creepy. I remember Dad and his stopwatch he would time me on something and I would just freeze up hearing that eerie ticking sound. I still have a little of that today.

The Legend Grith ... This was the monster from that nightmare. It's funny, I can watch all the great cartoons in the world and then come up with this horrible beast at night as a nightmare that ripped people asunder for their 'sins' detailed below.

The Moon ... has always had a special connotation with me. It is something I have tried to reach up and grab many times while I was growing up. To me, it is the safety zone. I have had many recurring dreams of being whipped around in a windy thunderstorm up to the moon - vut never to this day have. I know if I ever do, something wonderful might happen. So it is definitely given a tribute here.

Sin ... ah that old devil sin. The one quantifiable source and substance a preacher can throw at you to show you are a person unworthy for the grace of heaven. Growing up, I brooded about SIN a lot. I talked to and confessed to many preachers about my sins. Many times I wanted to take a pair of scissors to myself and cut off my - well - what was making me sin. Today I know (and feel) that sin is just a state of mind and a wedge that religion holds over on you to make you feel guilty. YOU have to decide what is sinful and acceptable to yourself. And I have been told amply, if it feels good, and it's not hurting anyone, then you're okay, and it's perfectly healthy to do so.

[Nikkiela]

Now you tell me there's a meaning to all those bold capitalized letters, the poem gets even better now XD This is really amazing. Thank you for sharing with us~ ^^

[dw817]

Sure, you enjoi. :)

[The dark story]

Well, I love this poem. I am still an immature teenage writer and I don't know much about the poetry writing save that it should coming straight from one's heart . So in my humble opinion,it is awesome. Especially the diction here. By the way,I thought that the capitalization is conveying something. But I guess I was wrong.
anyway thanks for sharing your first. And nice poem with us.

[dw817]

Sorry, almost forget about you ! :) And yep, the capitalization definitely has meaning for me. Click the, "read more" above for, "Nikkiela" and you'll see what they mean.

Poetry is hard work for me tho, I have to really be inspired in order to do it correctly, and it's gotta rhyme for me or I feel what I wrote is not poetry.

[The dark story]

Peom actually looks ravishing with a nice rhyming schemebut if there is no such thing,the diction adores it if it is strong.

[The dark story]

Ohj,it has got a deep deep meaning. Nice work David

[dw817]

Thanks ! At some point I was gonna try to put together a RAPPING contest in WC. It would be quite a challenge to make one. I would require not only every ending word to rhyme but it must match the same number of syllables across too.

That would definitely be a real mental workout, not just for me but others too I think. :)

[The dark story]

the contest sounds challenging, and I guess the people ouit here will be eager to enter it. Of course a contest is fun if it is challebging.

[Ellie EM]

I really like this poem. Ur not bad at all at writing them at all. U just need to write more poems to show everyone ur talent! ^^

[dw817]

Thanks, Ellie. But I'm more of a storywriter than a poet. I'll look around and see what other poetry I've written - however. :)

[Ellie EM]

Yea me too and 'kays! ^^

[Wall of Words]

I'm a horrible poet, so my opinion isn't really the best, but I think it was very nicely done. It's about 10 times better than any poem I've written. Haha.
I love the capitalized words, and the verses made of two lines or rhyming prose.
The dark setting, and other-worldliness feeling is a very nice accessory as well. :)
Great job!
Sylvia.

[dw817]

Well thanks, Sylvia, and greetings to you !
You mentioned you were having difficulty completing, some of your novels. I tell you there's a trick to it. You just write as much as you can or want to, then on the last chapter, you seal it.

You conclude by writing, "To be continued ... ?" on the very last chapter. And then when you are ready, you can start another book later to continue it. That's how I handle this. :)

[Wall of Words]

Oh cool. Thanks for the advice!!
My pleasure to comment. :)

[dw817]

Best wishes on your books !