Senryu Contest - I Hate Snow

A cheerful little girl is looking forward to when it snows and rushes right out as it starts to fall, she sticks her tongue out to catch a snowflake but instead gets something else.

I Hate Snow Entered for Baby Ricochet's contest (Sun Jun 9 2013) What is a Senryū Poem ? Catch the snowflake fall Her tongue she now does hold out Oh - just passing bird. I Won ! (Jun 30 2013) Thank you for allowing me to participate earlier, Baby Ricochet ! Return home HERE.

Reviews

[Red Brick Keshner]

Such a pity that a passing avian ruined snow for this persona! lol. It must be more than that, which sounds like the punctuating point to the cheering not for snow. Powerful read.

[dw817]

Wow. Hello, Frederick. This is a very old write. Glad to have you aboard though. Thanks for the comment !

Please to enjoy my latest SF book:

https://www.writerscafe.org/writing/dw817/2797804/

[Red Brick Keshner]

Glad to be here. And old isn't always bad. I know there are old things that I would rather keep in the past. But with poetry, I always make an exception.

[dw817]

We can always learn from where we've been, Frederick. As someone once told me Experience is a superb teacher if her opening lessons aren't a little painful.

The good news is once you've learned that particular lesson you can avoid getting hurt by it again in the future.

Yet ... sometimes it's the Stockholm Syndrome all over again - and we never learn from the past how to leave a bad situation in the present - because it's all we have ...

Makes for good writing though. :)

[Red Brick Keshner]

Word!......

[john alan willox]

oh s**t - love it LOL thanks.

[dw817]

Glad you like it.
And the deadline for entries is the end of the month although I don't have a link yet to view the other entries. I hope this one wins !

[Lady Ra]

Great poem! Short and sweet, and not too tasty for the poor girl.

[dw817]

Well, nothing a little mouthwash couldn't clear. Perhaps this is a good lesson that we should keep our eyes on our business at hand and not look heavenward for all our answers ? *Grin*

[Cleide Tatyana Almeida]

hahahahahha...and also gross....but mostly, you made me smile

[dw817]

Glad you like it ! I'm - not sure what the rules of the contest are, but if you do, please vote for me ! :)

[Cleide Tatyana Almeida]

will do

[Holly Mason]

a great word smile
very much good luck!!
clever
thank you for sharing

[dw817]

You're very welcome !

I'm just now learning the forms of different poetry out there. I had always thought they needed to rhyme. If it wasn't for Rico, I doubt I would've done this correctly as the Wikipedia description doesn't mention the 5, 7, 5, rule. Even if I don't win the competition, I'd certainly like to see what all else is out there.

Thanks for commenting ! :D

[Holly Mason]

check out the courses section on this site...most of them are free and quite informative*)
have a super great day

[dw817]

Well ... being a little Old School, I think if I write any poetry outside contests, it will always follow a diametric meter, rhyme, and rhythm. :)

[MandaBear]

Very cool poem!! i liked it very much

[dw817]

Thanks ! I appreciate that ! I'm - understanding now that not all poetry has to rhyme - and to think I spent years working on poems in my callow youth to try and make sure they did. Ah well - I'm learning (I hope) and that's something.

Thanks for the comment !

[Marie]

Excellent. Nice--if unsavoury--twist.

[dw817]

Waal now Rico said that it has to be humorous. I think snow is the most magical thing in the world and I remember trying that when I was a kid - to catch a snowflake - and - I caught - something, not a snowflake and spit it out - so there ya go. *Grin*

If you're curious, a Senryu Poem must be 5-syllables first line, 7-syllables next line, and 5-syllables next line. Crazy stuff but I like competitions so I'm curious to see how the other entrants do.

This is a pretty short writing, too, Marie, you might like my other stuff a bit better. :)

[Sirius King]

lol

:-))

[dw817]

Nothing more magical than a snowflake - and sometimes - you just can't catch 'em. :)

[Baby Ricochet]

lol. perfect

[dw817]

Great ! Please lemme know or something where the other posts show up and junk cause I'd like to see 'em too ! Gonna be a super-busy day today so getting coffee and getting going !