Life Over Death

This is all my pain about my best friend Matthew committing suicide, and when i tried i chose life over death, and now constantly regret it.

I chose life over him.

Why?

Because I thought he would be okay without me,

But in reality,

I’m not okay without him.

He was my everything,

The only one I had.

I chose life over him,

And I think hes angry I did.

But in reality,

He chose death over me,

Shooting himself,

Taking his own life,

He chose death over life,

Death over me.

That should make us even,

Right?

Wrong.

I live in pure agony because of my choice.

Why did I not chose him?

I had,

Have,

Nothing to truly live for.

Maybe today is my last day?

Wrong,

Because he wants me to live like this.

Author's Note

I do not want anything about how i should keep going, fighting, stuff like that. Just how to improve. Thank you