Surrealists Journal 2

its been five years since the first.

I woke up to the sound of the television set blaring and eternal consequence. Am I doomed to repeat the same mistakes? I had been watching a pre-recorded show that had ended with a menu screen asking if I'd like to save the show or erase it. I thought it better to bask in the warm grey glow of indecision. The menu screen broke on what seemed to be a timer of 3 hours and 27 minutes. The machines are developing a mind of their own.  Thank god, as mine is diminishing. I'm finding free will has its price, and I can't decide where to work. It was a western shootout scene. I wasn't sure if I had slept through some of it, or if I had woken up at the moment the sound came on. I did wake up with the remote drawn from a holster firing away at the television set, so it's difficult to say. All I know is I'm screwing up my evolution. We used to be wired to be scared of snakes. Now I've managed to hardwire myself to always forget to shut the lights off. Maybe this will have some advantage to deter intruders. Although, in the same line of thinking, we've forced dogs to evolve to accomplish the same task. An uncle whose name escapes me managed to breed dogs who can shut the lights off, write resumes and do Jungian dream analysis. I'm this close to asking him about one but we haven't spoken since one of my childhood Thanksgivings, and I'm not sure if he actually exists. At any rate, I probably couldn't afford to take care of the dog. Not everyone can afford an analyst, hell, a lot of us can't afford electricity. 

My Dad doesn't believe in evolution. He believes in Television. He enjoys the show "The Big Bang Theory", and laughing, but I think that comes from a lack of oxygen. He doesn't understand the finer points of evolution, and neither does a baby sparrow. The baby sparrow knows to duck when it see's the shadow of a hawk over its nest. In the same way, my dad knows to bury his head when the shadow of evolution approaches, which I call myself. During one of our debates on the subject, I saw my shadow and my head was enlarged to ridiculous proportions in relation to my body. One time it even walked out of the room. I'm starting to get suspicious of the odd timing of me walking into the room and him and him plugging his ears and singing "Sea to Shining Sea". He calls this praying. I think this is why I've always hard time understanding prayer. As a young boy, I would ask God to let me stop thinking about him so much because it gave anxiety when I was in the bathroom.  

I find it strange how many dinosaur toys my parents bought me as a child. It seems to be the real gateway drug. I had a dream once, although I'm not convinced at all that it was a dream, that I was lying awake in bed and looking out the window. Suddenly I saw a large shadow creep in and grow in anticipation of something large approaching. I then beheld a lifesize dinosaur balloon floating past my second story window. It was something you'd see at a Macy's day parade. My hair stood up straight from what I'm sure was the static. I distinctly remember dogs barking and the electricity going out across the whole block, my shadow was nowhere to be found.