When we see what we missed.

The afterlife, but only on the brink of it.

I've got a highway in my chest/
and you've got headlights in your eyes/
and I've had to much to drink./
I hoped I would make you think.

Do you believe in anything?

I pray to a god in my own head./
I haven't ever really said His name./
Just have another drink./
"When we die we go to sleep."

Do you think that we still dream?

I hope
that its going to getter better than this.
There's a landmark I must've missed.
No,
it must've missed me too.

You've got a mirror in your eyes/
and I envy your whole life./
I've got black holes in both my eyes/
so I let the stars fill the void.

I heard they aren't even alive.

So have another drink/
of my blood and break my bread./
I'm spinning out in my own head/
The last exits just ahead.

We're always throwing fits.
There's a point I must've missed,
You've got,
a mirror to the back.
Must've missed me too.

No,
It couldn't get better than this.
For all those signs that we missed,
I know I'm better than this.
I know we're better than this.

Reviews

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

I had a long absence from the site and have come by to read you. Always loved the music in your work. This is reflective and has some deep and stunning lines. Hope you will return, my friend.

[TC Dunn]

"I know we're better than this." How very true. Very inspirational and true poem. Great work here.

[Clockwork]

I think this would make a really great song. It is not often that I read a poem on WC and feel like the writer is speaking directly to me. Your poem makes me feel that way. As I read this, I could almost feel the voice of the poem, if that makes any sense.

I would say that you have a lot of really powerful lines. I love the implications of the first stanza.

I would say that I feel like the piece could very easily close with the lines "I'm spinning out in my own head/The last exits just ahead." I think that would be a really powerful thing, especially if you were singing it in front of a live audience with a band.

[afra]

hummm interesting deep write ....well done

[eglantine]

interesting Jesus reference... eluding to sacrifice for sin? i love "headlights in your eyes" and the continued focus of reflective things within both the spesaker's and the woman's eyes. Lyrics? Backslashes represent what?

[dukovan]

Yep they're lyrics, they sort of go to a Band of Horses melody I've been working with, changing the key, notes, cadence etc... Backlashes I suppose just show consistency in meter and represent the verses, everything else is some sort of chorus bridge or outro somehow spoken/sang differently than the pattern of the verses

[eglantine]

great band! i'd love to hear it when you're finished, if possible

[dukovan]

i don't want to release much yet until i get some better software and a new microphone, but it should be soon, just need to get the money, and with my thumb its making it difficult to play my guitar right now.

And yeah they are great, just saw them with my morning jacket at a beautiful new pavilion in milwaukee on lake michigan, amazing night

[eglantine]

I miss the lake… I grew up on lake michigan

[dukovan]

I''ve got some great memories with it too. Which side were you on?

[eglantine]

the east side of the lake, michigan side, u?

[dukovan]

West side in Wisconsin. Ever go to summerfest in Milwaukee?

[eglantine]

nope i have not, what is it?

[dukovan]

Big music festival

[eglantine]

well, i figured that much lol was looking for a bit more detail, guess that's what google is for

[dukovan]

Lol my bad, its right on the lakefront in milwaukee...I wanna say there's 5 stages, plus a bunch of mini shows going on like raggae. Its a fun time

[eglantine]

lol thanks, does sound like fun

[dukovan]

And yeah I do reference Christ in a lot of my writing. I was never a fan of the Jesus freak scene. It seemed kind of fake...um starting to be ok with it. You lose some angst as you get older. Sometimes I write about my angst with God, while still believing. It's a weird feeling.

[eglantine]

nah, i totally understand and oh dear, the typical young angst... lol