Process/Yours, mine and ours.

Creative process

An inexplicable scribble to get the day started.
Blinding basking in my bullshit,
I bullshit no one in this white backdrop.

Equipped with know-how of serendipity.
Let go of longing or whys of how.
Hold on the to hues of now,
until they let you go.

The young die well,
and the good die young.
Repeating from anothers' tongue,
"Like dying young, idols got the best of me."

A solider in a French cafe,
obscuring in absinthe, then returning from emerald fairies,
escaping sovereignty for a while.

The holy neon tangerine river
humming to eternity,
is longing for parched fighters,
seeking collaboration.

A red-haired woman at the bar,
barters with a ring,
like a virgin losing a child.

Oh the possibilities are endless,
the tongues twist in every way,
beckoning children to come and stay,
but they want everything.

Reviews

[h d e rushin]

"a red-haired woman at the bar,
barters with a ring,
like a virgin losing a child."

I love , love, love this stanza....good work, dana.

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlande..]

ok, holy s**t, you've outdone yourself, and me, and I can't speak for anyone else, but if I felt inclined I'd keep it to myself.
so yeah I was perusing a good def for serendipity and I found
"an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident." I am far too old to be having to even look that word up, but what an apropos definition to go along with the theme of this exquisite piece of literature.
you go through some playful and interesting dualities which almost read like Kant-ian aphorisms with a splash of Dali and Buddha thrown in for good measure. A little more stirring in the next stanza, then you go into cleverly inspired classical/surreal poetic musings with the poise of a Ginsberg and Bukowski....and you end with the last two stanzas in a snake-like dna spiral eating itself and exploding into a super nova of simplicity/re-composition, exiling the dead skin that had been clinging to the last layer of consciousness that you no longer remember.
I'm gonna go try to remember how to make a second cup of coffee and roll a cigarette now

[dukovan]

It was actually a special rolled cigarette that helped create this. Do they still sell loose tobacco wherever you live? I'm in Wisconsin, a bill banned the sale of all looseleaf tobacco. Its a shame...saved about 30 bucks per carton.
You said Ginsberg and and Bukowski. I'll have to disagree there, but I'm flattered. Thanks for the review, you've actually added a lot of depth and substance for me to understand it better for myself, for edits or further pieces.
Thanks for the reference to Kant-ian aphorisms, I'm not familiar with it, so I'll be doing some research on it today.

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

oh man...a story on tobacco, etc.. from 2009..and the ginsberg and bukowski thing is a feel i intuited from reading them..I'll email you some other stuff as well...and don't dig too deep in the research..I say most things loosely..but yeah I smoke loose tobacco...don't be flattered, accept, and keep moving fwd..you're earning it..glad I could add some insight..i see us building off of each other, and it's cool

[dukovan]

Building off each other is very cool. I think its the point...yeah feel free to email me stuff you think is cool. I'll check it out. One thing I'd like to get better at is reviewing other peoples work. You're great at it.

[dukovan]

I used your snake DNA thing in the latest piece i posted. Hope you don't mind.

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

haha...you could use it in the context of slapping me with it and I wouldn't care..i just saw a guy in the middle of the day with a red mask and crazy hair..life is nuts, I'm just along for the ride, poorly...it's all a matter of focus and practice and balls (with respect obviously), reviewing..believe me when I tell you, if I can do it, ANYONE can, lol...we will collab this week..ironically, I was in wisconsin in '09 after obama did the cig tax thing..you could smoke anywhere...you play guitar?

[dukovan]

yeah i play, not all that well. I play it for the juxtaposition with lyrics. I'm working on getting equipment for some home-recording, which is what I really want to pursue.

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

same here..this is a catalyst for me as well..I have some, and have recorded with some interesting people...until I get where I need to be musically and video-wise..gonna keep just writing and thinking

[dukovan]

Thats about where I'm at, do you have any audio on youtube or anything i could check out? and yeah collab sounds awesome, whenever your up for it send me some messages we'll get something started.

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

I will send you some youtube stuff via a comment and we can email some ideas

[eglantine]

he's really good at it!

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

aww, thanks you!

[afra]

i enjoyed reading it .....good job