I'm No Cat Person

I'm no cat person but....

I always enjoyed your company...all the way to the end,

I never said goodbye the last time we spoke; I stopped doing that a few deaths back,

Because I know it's not goodbye, only temporary separation,

On the next plane, the next step the next trip,

I think we'll all fin each other again, love each other again,

Somewhere, somehow, sometime,

Perhaps moments from now perhaps eons from now,

Maybe we have to wait for the universe to stop expanding and contract in on it's self,

Destroying all that's left,

Perhaps a few stars that haven't burnt all the way out hanging alone and dim in the darkness,

Or the husk of a planet that once held life of all kinds, all long dead, no trace of them remains, just a rock,

All vaporized in the wave of the contracting universe until it all comes together at a single point,

And it explodes just as before and it all starts from the beginning,

Eventually it will get to Miss Cleo living with us again

All of existence just repeating it's self,

Or maybe it will stretch for so long and create so much for the rest of time,

That eventually our group is all created together again because it can't help but happen again eventually,

We'll keep living and dying the same or similar lives for as long as life exists,

Or perhaps we go somewhere else. Another bubble of reality,

Maybe we are all different people with all different lives, and all different roles in each others  lives,

Perhaps Our cats and our dogs are people too this time around,

Dear friends you have over for dinner and drinks,

Or perhaps just as in their lives with us this time they were family,

Family we got to spend so many years more with,

Whatever happens when we die I think we find each other somehow,

The love I feel for some people is too strong to let its bonds be broken by death,

I will find them all again, somehow.

Miss Cleo never really seemed like a regular cat,

She seemed wise like perhaps in some life time she achieved enlightenment,

And a cat was the form she chose for this life,

I think she'd had a hard time before she'd been found and brought to the rescue group,

She seemed skiddish like somebody had hurt her and I know she was homeless for a time.,

My mom and son were looking at some kitten when the rescue group was at the pet store,

But Miss Cleo came to the front of her cage and started rubbing on my mom and licking her,

Once we got to know her we realized how uncharacteristic this was of her,

She didn't lick much and would never lovingly come up to s stranger like that,

So Miss Cleo chose them. She wanted to come be in our family,

and that's exactly what happened.

Miss Cleo was a medium sized cat. Not a purebred but mostly Siamese

She had deep dark blue eyes and hardly ever made any noise.

My son used to be really hyper and he scared her so during the day she'd hide upstairs,

After he went to bed she'd come down and sit in your laps so we could pet her,

To spend time with her family,

When Andrew got older and calmed down she hung out with us more which was nice,

She was by far my favorite of all the cats,

She was beautiful she was kind and she was very wise.

 You could see it in her eyes, She knew a great many things perhaps more than I,

She always reminded me of some wise Egyptian Queen,

Maybe thats why she would watch you sitting in your chair, waiting for you ti get up,

The second you did she jumped in and sat there proudly,

Like a queen on her throne.

Even though she knew you'd move her, she never gave up the seat on her own accord,

She made you take it back.

Later in life she would yowl loudly at night,

I assumed it was pain and I saw she was losing weight,

It seemed like cancer,A couple days ago she stopped walking, eating and drinking,

Yesterday we put her in a laundry basket with clothes in it for a soft bottom for her to lay on,

I sat there petting her telling her I loved her and no matter where she ended up after death,

That my love would follow her these and keep her safe but my guess was she had nothing to fear,

Except change,

Change is scary and this the biggest change any of us ever goes through...as scary as they get,

But I didn't say goodbye because I don't think its the last time we'll be together.

No goodbye is permanent and I don't think anything is permanent not even death,

She's gone for now though and I miss her already.

I woke up feeling terrible and also had the feeling today was going to be an awful day,

So I went to sleep thinking I could avoid whatever it was,

Death doesn't care if you are sleeping.

It came and took Miss Cleo away. My cat, my friend, my family.

Leaving me with memories and a shoe box I'll never look in,

At least she didn't have to be put down and died naturally.

One year all four of our dogs died within that year,

They all had to be put down. They were suffering terribly but death would not take them

So with each one I would pick up my dog who was more like family than a lot of my real family,

Each time I placed them on that awful flat cold steel table,

The vet comes in with a shot full of a pink fluid and in them,

Occasionally they try to fight it but usually they just go to asleep and don't wake up,

They put the body in some trash bags to avoid body fluid leaking out all over,

At least Miss Cleo went on her own with my mom at her side,

If I was dying that's who I'd want at my side.

So you're gone now.... Miss Cleo. Joined the ranks of people I loved that are dead now,

An ever growing list,

But it will be rough no having anyone to steal my chair when I stand up,

Or have a cat that knows exaclty where I hurt when I am sick and lays right in that spot,

Somehow relieving that pain,

Change. This is one I could do without but will somehow learn to accept.

I have no choice,

But I promise you two things,

I will always love you,

And you'll live forever in my memories.

And I'm no cat person....