Sara's Text

The voices are consuming me'

Chewing on my skull,

Blocking my thoughts,

Bending them twisting them,

Telling me horrible things about me,

About you,

About everything.

Am I losing my mind or did that already happen?

Pain in my stomach

Like hands reaching through my flesh and pulling out my intestines,

Constant unending,

Wretching over the trash can

Sweating coughing gagging

Sick

Screaming everywhere

But I am the only one here

I am alone

I miss my friend

Afraid the world took her away,

The voices say she doesn't like me

She only loves the character I play....

Too sick too keep it up

To sick to be that person people call Ryan,

I am just flesh and bone

Like the shells of fireworks that litter the streets on the fifth of July,

Once they did something amazing...something beautiful,

Now just a burnt up shell lying on the ground....forgotten

At least those don't hurt

Those don't have to hide in the bathroom to be left alone when they cry,

Those are dead

Tonight I just wish I was.

I wish there was someone here,

I wish Sara was here

The phone makes a noise

A text

They laugh at me

"There's your precious Sara come to save you with a text"

Laughter

Laughter

I stare at the phone

I want to cry

There is nothing good inside me

I shouldn't respond

I do

hurt 

angry

sick

frustrated

alone 

a text

I am their puppet dancing their dance of despair,

Spouting their words of hopelessness,

I've been tormented physically and mentally too long to fight back.

I am becoming the shadow man himself,

Then I remember the red string,

The one the gods tie to all of us before we exist,

The one that twists and turns and tangles but never breaks,

It never breaks 

Neither do I

It is what leads us to every important person we will ever meet, ever love,

Ever matter,

The ones we never forget,

And it led me to her,

She can't save me from my pain,

She can't quiet the voices,

But she can remind me of what is beautiful in life,

She made me remember

With a text

They aren't laughing anymore

I am