Random Acts of Nature

i have a weird sense of humor.

 

have you ever thought about spontaneous human combustion?

for those that don't know what that is, it's a theory that involves the human body randomly bursting into flame from the inside out. it is generally fatal, but often is contained to a relatively small area, sometimes burning a whole body while leaving a single limb virtually scorch free.

 

as of the last time i checked, there was still no scientifically known cause and or ignition source, though the theories are varied and interesting.

now, back to what i was originally saying.

have you ever thought about spontaneous human combustion?

(obviously if i had to explain it to you for the first time in the second paragraph, you weren't in the know enough to have ever considered it so..yeah. disregard that last question)

 

how crazy would it be to just randomly burst into flames?

a man walks up to a bustop where another man is already standing. man one remarks about the recent hot weather, man 2 suddenly bursts into flames and says "tell me about it".

i suppose that would give a whole new meaning to "hot flashes" huh?

heh heh.

 

ok. i realize maybe it's not something most people would joke about, but i'm sure even you can think of a few "right time, right place, right one-liners" that illicit even the tiniest snicker from you about the subject. c'mon...you know you can. thats right..

 

but back to "hot flashes". interestingly enough, the most common victim of spontaneous combustion is the elderly. like the elderly don't have enough to worry about, right? geez. one day your body just might suddenly attack you from the inside....WITH FIRE!!!! AUUUGHHH!

they say one possible theory on how this event occurs, involves people who smoke tobacco products, accidentally inhaling a small spark, which then travels far enough into you, to ignite the vapors in your stomach. to me, this seems a quite plausible theory.

they still haven't really pinned one down as to how the fire can be contained to such a relatively small area. generally the fire is in basically a circle a foot and a half or less in diameter around the victim. chairs that victims have been sitting in will be left unscathed, while the person in the chair has been burnt to nothing but charred bones and ash. like some cosmic hand reached down and sent lightning through just that one tiny space in the whole universe.

nature's pretty twisted sometimes.

but then again, i suppose, we do far worse things to each other, than nature generally does to us.

 

but of all the ways to go, that is one of my top 10 most feared.

 

 

and now, if you'll excuse me, i'm off to smoke a cigarette....

Reviews

[the_ese]

hilarioum