lost

I’m lost 
In thoughts 
About my life 
And I have come 
To realize 
That the people 
That are my "friends" 
Hardly know anything about me 
Okay some know that I’m bi 
And that I like to write poetry 
But they don’t know 
how I feel everyday 
When people ignore me 
When I’m trying to make a point 
Or when I try to talk to them 
About how I feel 
And they start talking 
About their problems. 
I’m lost 
In the crowd 
Nobody sees me 
Nobody wants to 
I’m wallpaper 
Sometimes 
People 
That are my "friends" 
Pass by me 
And don’t realize 
How much they have hurt me 
By not noticing 
That there is a person 
Hiding within 
Some people treat me 
Like if I’m their pet 
I’m older than most of my "friends" 
And they still tell me what to do 
Like if I’m a watch dog 
There for their amusement 
And to give them proctection 
So it needs to pay attention 
So that he can get his treat. 
Or a piece of meat 
That is there 
To be chewed 
and then thrown 
Aside because its too raw. 
I’m lost in thoughts 
About everything 
From friends 
To teachers 
To my coach 
That only have eyes 
For all my flaws. 
I’m lost 
I’m frozen 
In place 
Not knowing 
What to do 
Either fall apart 
Or smile 
And pretend everything 
Is alright. 
I’m lost 
To this world 
Its like if I was a ghost