my eye in the whinchat

 

 

 

Consider for once a petting zoo

where trained animals are brought to you,

not you to them, to rub and submit to

the furnishings and the stink of gratitude.

And the creatures spoke to you, this I am

sure of, saying "get me the f**k out of here"!

 

And the left over pieces of corn in the pocket

of your coat that you never took out, just kept

there between your ring and index fingers

to be something, in life, and perhaps in death

that is predictable. And you so hated for

 

the fall to  end which meant the end to wearing

coats, the end to touching corn. So the happenstance

that gave you the littiest pleasure, now gives you

absence, and each time you see a baby pig

or a furry chic you let your hands go

 

as slow as they can.

Reviews

[Tree]

Flipping the script, we people deserve to be on the other end, sometimes. Here you evoke a subtle yet powerful feeling, a relinquishing, or maybe it's letting go... I like the ending too, dana, incredibly thought provoking. You leave the reader wondering, what just happened? Why do I feel this way?

[Bewitched]

This was an amazing write, i love how you presented us like the animals that we are, basic, needing love, grateful for love and how that sometimes makes you feel gritty if you are hollow, the stink of gratitude, perfect line, animals are smelly, lol,

[Corset]

I submit myself for my daily petting :) stinking as highly as a dirty horse can, let's ride ride baby, like the wind, I take you places you've never been :P (jk hugs my Dana friend, you are sooooo admired)

[Madelaine]

I really enjoyed this poem, it has really good flow and rhythm to it. It was a little melancholy to read, because I got the impression that it's telling me that the reader itself is the animal in a petting zoo. Good work though :)