Staring into [your eyes]

Staring into [your eyes]

A Poem by +xDrunkenFairytalex+

Staring at the stars
List'ning for your heart
Beating in the distance
But we're too far apart.
The simple things in life can't hide
this way I feel for you
I love you more than 'love' can say
I hope you feel it too.
Staring out my window
I wish upon a star
Hoping I could see your face
But I know you're way too far.
Staring into wonderland
I wonder if I'll ever have
the chance to hold your precious hand

and say you're all I want to have.
I'm staring into nothingness
Dreaming of your 'good night' kiss
- The lips that healed my broken-ness
And told me of a sweeter bliss.
No matter where I stare
I'll never satisfy
Until you look me face-to-face
And I stare into your eyes.

© 2008 +xDrunkenFairytalex+


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Featured Review

I loved the tender longing in this poem! The images of looking out into the stars and hoping, dreaming and wishing for a perfect moment to come, made this a really beautiful piece.

Wonderful Write.

There were certain lines that ran a little ruff. But other then that it was great.

Nature's Essence

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

You just WOW me! This is so romantic and full of resignation to love. Sometimes there is a battle to give into that love and move to the next step. In this poem, I see the process. Just loving it. Thanks for entering it into the Missing Her, Missing Him contest.

Posted 16 Years Ago


Ok...
Put a space between line 8 and 9

"I wonder if I'll ever have
the chance to hold your precious hand
and say you're all I want to have."
Try this ----
"I wonder if i'll ever have the chance,
To hold your precious hand.
You are everything I could want."
It would flow better in my opinion, keeping the same emotions.

Put a space between line 16 and 17

"And painted on my black abyss." doesn't tie into the line before it very well, and doesn't make sense by itself.

"ANd I stare into your eyes." --- Uses stare again, try "And gaze into your eyes."

That's just what I saw. Hope it helps. :)

Nature's Essence


Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I loved the tender longing in this poem! The images of looking out into the stars and hoping, dreaming and wishing for a perfect moment to come, made this a really beautiful piece.

Wonderful Write.

There were certain lines that ran a little ruff. But other then that it was great.

Nature's Essence

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

All I can say is that I truly agree with everything you've written down. I mean, we can't really say much about anyone else until we see in their eyes to know what's really there...

Other than that, it's all still good tho...


Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on August 5, 2008
Last Updated on August 20, 2008

Author

+xDrunkenFairytalex+
+xDrunkenFairytalex+

Harrison, AR



About
Hello! My name is Kalisa (Kuh-Lisa). Some call me Kali. I live in a little town called Harrison. I'm 18 and bisexual. I used to hate doing poetry for school assignments but I tried doing one .. more..

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