Spirit Mist

(Okay, OT you asked for it, now here it is.) My first attempt at a Triolet. Hey, I gave it a shot. And don't go blowing smoke up my skirts - give it to me straight. You can tell me if it's terrible.

As sun sets on the misty earth
the spirits waken o'er the bog.
I struggle with his mighty girth
as sun sets on the misty earth.
I can't conceal my rising mirth
to put him here, beneath the clods.
As sun sets on the misty earth
the spirits waken o'er the bog.

Author's Note

Muahahaha

Reviews

[The Perfectionist]

Another poetic style I had to go look up.

Okay, I may be wrong about this, but I'm pretty sure that the the sixth line is supposed to rhyme with the second and eighth, and "bog" and "clods" do not rhyme.

Might you have wanted "mighty" instead of "might"? That line looks weird.

Other than that, effectively written, flows well, has absolutely no point and I like it that way.

[Samuel Dickens]

You're planting a "bog man"? I'm not sure--anyway, it has a certain alure.

[OT]

I like!!! I'd like it anyways haha but you've done the form justice for sure - picked the perfect words to repeat - and that's the trickiest bit!! a very difficult form to pull off as it's all about alternation and playing on punctuation!! I think you done brilliantly!