Blood-lust

Written for someone I know

Those sultry eyes he hides behind

can never hide the truth.

 

Duality is what he bears;

of which he seems aloof.

 

The layman may be fooled, perhaps,

but those who know will see -

 

by day the gentle, caring man;

by night the savage beast.

 

In vengeance sake he lays in wait

for opportunity to rise,

 

to seize the power from within

and break the human guise.

 

A guttural growl from deep within

his bowels can now be heard,

 

I see the doubt creased on your brow,

you’re best to hold your mirth.

 

For once you’ve crossed that dreaded line,

his blood-lust comes alive,

 

And with it you’ll bear witness to

that sparkle in his eyes.

 

You’ll feel the wrath; you must beware

I speak only the truth.

 

Remember well, mere mortal men,

he is the mighty wolf.

Author's Note

Don't be shy - let me know what you think. :) Thanks.

Reviews

[Matthew Kult]

I think you needed to keep it from becoming too cutsie so I think the rhyming kept the poem in rhythm. I also like the fact this is a wolf tale and feel it can be pushed to further limits. A continuation or just turned into a short.

A great write. Interested to see if you can make this more.

With Love,

Jaidyn

[David W Moore III]

I actually liked that the rhymes were slightly forced, it gave it a nice flow but kept it from being to "cute". The story of course is an age old, on the surface, a werewolf story, beneath the story of mans inhumanity to women and to others on a global scale. Unfortunately for so many out there, the beast is barely (if at all) held in check beneath the surface.
Great piece

This was a very nicely crafted piece. Some of the rhymes felt a little forced, but otherwise it was very nice, and had antiquated charm. I'm not sure subject and style meet here very well, but it worked all the same. Don't know if this helped. Thanks.

[Crowley]

What writers block...this is fabby...very good pacing that matches the writing perfectly, weirdly I picture Sam Elliot reading this. I want to be the mighty wolf...but alas, I only get to be a newborn puppy. Great to see you back Girly, you are a fixture around here, so get your computer fixed!