Disdain

The edited version.

Disdain

 

From his corrugated walls

he sits, a sentinel

waiting and watching

as the world shuffles by.

"Time will wash away the grief;"

they said,

"this will get better in time."

Husks of words brittle with decay

from those who have

since shunned him.

Like blind barbarians

they walk by,

disdain smoldering

in their eyes.

He's merely a

rush-hour pile up

blocking the flow.

Author's Note

Old version:

He sits in the corner;
he’s all alone.
Time will wash away the grief,
they said.
Watching as the world
marches by.
Where is the heart?
He wonders.
Cold and harsh
are the fingers that have woven
their way into society.
A woman fallen;
they walk around her,
over her -
disdain in their eyes.
Blinders encase their eyes,
shielding feelings and empathy.
No time for another-
too caught up in self to matter.
This thing we call ‘life’;
has it withered and died?
Never to see past the smog,
to smell the freshly cut grass,
to look into one’s eyes and say,
“I see you.”

Reviews

[A.Lee]

This is really good. I like the train of thought and more importantly the message behind it.

These lines really stood out to me. Very direct and emotional. Its like a stab at the reader, and all of humanity, that makes one examine themselves.
"No time for another-
too caught up in self to matter.
This thing we call ‘life’;
has it withered and died?
Never to see past the smog,
to smell the freshly cut grass,
to look into one’s eyes and say,
“I see you.”

[Matthew Kult]

I read the previous and I am not sure why I didn't leave a comment, I may have been under my alter ego too, so who knows really. These versions are so different you could have made this a poem on it's own.

Both are good a speak volumes.

Regards,

Matthew

[Crowley]

Nicely done for just ranting, and I love the smell of freshly cut grass, unless I am doing the mowing. Some wonderful pearls of wisom buried in this one. Nice job girl.