EMPTY

Seeing the truth shall set me free...

Why can’t you see, I’m too worn out?

Please

         understand,

   I

    need

           you

    now.

Don’t bother me, I’m too damn tired.

I’m   

    so

      confused;

                   I

                    hurt

                          inside.

 

Look from MY shoes, see things MY way.

I’ll

    shelve

            my

                thoughts

                      for

                         another

                               day.

 

I’m much too busy to hear your woes.

I’m,

    oh,

       so

         sorry.

           (feel

               so

                alone)

 

 

We’ll talk of this some other time.

                     What

                         Can

                             I

                              Do

                                To

                                 Ease

                                   Your

                                     Mind?

 

 

There’s too much that I have to do.

I

 love

     you,

         and

           I’m

             here

                for

                  you.

 

 

Oh, stupid girl, why can’t you see?

You only fill my primal need!

Author's Note

This poem is a conversation between a man and a woman.

Reviews

[Matthew Kult]

I like the format, It absolutely adds to the effect, of the woman just tailing off as the man really has no interest in what she has to say, a great write. Where have you been btw

Regards,

Matthew

The sad thing about this poem is there are actual people like this out there. i really like the idea of a conversation and open dialog, it can reveal a lot in just a short amount of space. Nice work. I wonder about the structure of this poem though. I think its very creative and fun but i wonder if it dampens the tone of the conversation and makes it too whimsical or too fun sounding. The way the poem reads makes it feel more serious and stressful. Just a thought. Thanks

[Tate Morgan]

This is quite interesting I like it

[Poeticpiers]

I can see this playing out in a relationship. The form you chose accentuates the down beat tone. Well presented but it is poeticprose a la ee cummins

[just rose.]

The structure of this is brilliant because the female lines are so beveled and leave so much space for interpretation, empathy, and understanding; and the male ones are so declarative and definitive. This is even removing the value judgement from what the two (opposing) narrators are saying. I love how you've done this! I like the irony, too, at the end, but wonder why HE gets the last word!

[Crowley]

Whoa...girly that was good. Loved the shape, it really did lend some nice structure to the poem. I could feel the drained feeking of it all and the frustration. Good work.

[An owl on the moon]

There is a moving, breathing life to your letters, what seems the voiced comment and the threaded thoughts drifting down. Powerfully spoken!