These Hands

I wrote this many years ago

These hands,

these withered hands

that long the touch of a small child.

If only I could borrow time;

a couple of years to get me by.

These hands have done a hundred things,

and now no one calls for me.

     The only thing that I hear,
      
          is the wood of my rocker rubbing the floor,
              
               and the sound of the clock ticking away the time.

No one talks to me anymore,

no one pays much attention to me,

because I am old.

Author's Note

I know, this isn't really that great. I thought about going back and rewriting it. Maybe I should just insert it into the shredder. Hmm...not sure.
I wrote this piece in Freshman year of HS. The inspiration to write this came from being in "Death Education" class. We were working on learning about death and dying, old age and hospice, crematoriums, etc. Very interesting class. I had noticed, when taking a field trip to an old age home, how lonely the people there were. Their eyes came to life when I would sit and talk to them, and conversations were extremely interesting. The elderly have lived and experienced so much; they have worlds of information to teach and share. Normally, my writing rhymes, but this was a more free form piece. Something that I wrote as I sat in class.

Reviews

[Soul Magic✯]

outstanding ink. the visual in this piece is so amazing. it's sad to see anyone go through emptiness. this is very well written... thanks for sharing this wonderful piece

[crow]

very good poem we will all one day be old...goddamnit!!!

[Coyote Poetry]

A very sad poem. We need to treat the old with respect and kindness. I like the poem. You told a real story. We need to return the love they gave to us. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Samuel Dickens]

The shredder? Noooo, don't do that. You can smooth out the wording if you want, but the message, you must keep. I felt so sorry for my dad during his last days when he was confined to a wheelchair and had to roam the halls with the other short-timers. They all looked so pitifull and lost.

[Michael]

All that we may live forward, only backwards is there meaning and regret.

Your prerogative to a rewrite, but sometimes it works better as is. However you write is up to you.

[Crowley]

I thought it was good as well...time is a b***h, the older I get the more certain regrets seem to pop up. I would keep it as is, or if you are not completely satisfied, make a few changes until you are. I on the other hand, loved it.

[Creepy Swine Guy]

I disagree with your author's notes. I think it is fabulous. I almost get the feel of an old woman talking to herself and feeling terribly lonely. I REALLY like this. I only see one thing that I would tweak and it's just a matter of preference to my ear.

VERY much enjoyed.