Pose

For Devons writing group

POSE

 

 

Pose for me, pretty girl,

new to the Hollywood scene, eyes aglow

with innocence.  Your dreams

are what I can make them.  Dance for me

in your patent leather heels and smile a smile of

fame.

 

Pose for me, pretty girl,

I shall mold you into a beauty queen

for all to admire.  Bare your shoulders a bit,

part your lips just so, show me who you are.

Follow my lead, and fame on the stage and screen

will come.

 

Pose for me, pretty girl,
such a delicate thing you are.  Let your

inhibitions run free; notoriety can be

yours if you want it - you need only to

put your trust in me.  Dear girl, I would not lie

to you.

 

 

Pose for me, pretty girl,

high gloss and Technicolor shades of

wonderland , your name in lights.

Ride my promises into the night where

your childhood dreams are sold

at a price.

Reviews

[Fran Marie]

Like the ending verse in this piece..a dear price to be paid for fame..

Nice work..

[Doreen]

Thank you.

[JayceeC]

I'm sure the photographer was not the only one to make her such promises. Inspired use of voice to build her up, yet slightly repell us with his snake oil persona. You highlighted the slime of the industry as a whole, while focusing on the soulless movement asked of her. A strong piece for the competition. Good luck.

[Doreen]

Thank you very much. You picked up exactly what I tried to convey. Thanks for stopping by and reading.

[Devons]

It's interestingly discerning how this poem speaks from the point of view of the photographer rather than the girl, and yet it still says something about her and so many others who have gone before her. It's presented temptation, but not in the sexual sense (like the picture itself). It's temptation in almost a Biblical sense; but the forbidden fruit is now the fame, success, adulation. And the moral is as crystal clear as Eve's story, but with a modern clarity.
A really well-written piece with a subtle rhyme and rhythm. And it manages to personify a concept of the soul, as well as to show the vagaries of such a lifestyle.
"Ride my promises into the night where
your childhood dreams are sold
at a price."
That's an excellent ending.

[Doreen]

Thank you so much for your thoughts. Much appreciated! Also, each stanza ending comes together to make a phrase. :)

[Devons]

Yeah, I noticed. I should hope everyone would! It works very well.

[Green]

A sad story that is being heard more and more lately. I love the way you broke up the lines, it helped the flow and, for me at least, helped build a mental image of the scene as it slowly played out. Excellent write and well done.

[Doreen]

Thank you.

[yusavage]

This is really good! It gives off a sense of elegance and delicacy

[Doreen]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate it.