Halt, The Hop

someday i will stop the hop-

one church to another
one hospital to another

my list of doctors grow in steady numbers,
as cash from the pocket diminish instead

doctor, doctor
tell me how religion is able to overrule
years of study; hard, cold, logical science
tell me how you're able to hold those beliefs
above your head, steadfast in faith

for one i am not faithful-

i waver in my faith, just like my terrible habit
taking my own sweet time to decide

happy pills you call them
"they sedate you"-

then how do they work in my dreams
with monsters reaching into the dark corners

my mind is contaminated with filth,
light trapped beneath all that grease, all that
ashes from which my happy memories burn

halt, the hop
i shall stop my quest for understanding
i shall be ignorant, as how teenagers of today are

doctor, doctor
how does sitting in that sickly bright room feel
with your family at the back of your head,
& the problems of strangers questioning your credentials?