chapter one

the first chapter from When the Blood Runs Cold. enjoy or not up to you really and my writing.

       Nephatimine played lightly on the radio as the hunter continued his task at hand. It's time. He heard the command as he finished the pentence for his latest crime a month ago. The hunter finished the last of the thirty slashes  on his back. The candle wax was already melted and waiting on him  to sear and seal the wounds. With fire and then the wax together it purfied the tainted part of him so the hunter could continue gods purpose . Now it was time again. Already he heard the pleas for her and her babies life. they never changed. They were s***s ever last one of them. They sinned over and over again. Never did they repent the digusting w****s. He got up from the altar. It was time for his next kill. He was the hunter and they were his prey. Just thinkin about it made him hard.

       They were so vulnerable to him. To his touch. To his jagged insicions. The agony on ther pretty little faces twisting it made him want them even more. Made him want to to kill the s***s even more. How dare they make him want them like every other pathetic man? They made him sick all they wanted was attention. "And i'll give it to them."  They will pay they all will pay. He willed the hard lenght of himself to ease. As he grabed his hat and sunglasses and took off for a run to his latest victims tidy little pent house.

       He ran hard and fast it was nearly dawn a sliver of light connecting the sky and ground. It was the begining and the end all at one time he though with a smile to himself. The hunter continued to run he could smell his own disgusting stench protruding from his pores. He was soo human. Not for long he thought. No after his tasks where done he would be as of a god just like god. The hunter saw his prey through the window. "Right on time." He took position in the garage behind the tools . She never saw him he could have taken her a hundred times already but it wasnt time then. He stood there ready soo still he barely breathed. He heard her foot steps and grabed her as she closed the door. she struggled at first they all did that was wat the gag was for. The hunter wouldnt allow them to scream unless he was the only one to hear it.

     She kicked and hit at him. The hunter became impatient. He lost his cool. Grabbing a large monkey wrench he knocked the woman unconcious and put her in the back seat of her car. His task had just began. The Hunter got into the drivers seat and pulled out. He drove a few miles away and to an abandon house. "Hunny were home." The hunter told her as she started to regain coniousness and dragged her into the house. He straped her to a table as he ripped her cloths from her body."So tell me Carline. How bad do you want to live?" He asked her as he took off her gag to hear her screams...

 

~*~

 

       Her heart was pounding. Think. Think. Think. This cant be the end there has to be a way out. He took her gag off but she wasn't gonna give the b*****d the satisfaction of screaming. "Arn't you scared Carline?" He asked her moving his hand over her swollen belly. Oh god the baby. The baby would die. "Please don't hurt my child please. I beg you. Let me go. I have plenty of money. I'll pay you off."  She started to cry. "Pppleaassee don don't da do this I I I woonn't telll I pro promise." Her heart was pounding the b*****d wasn't going to listen to her all he did was smile as he pulled out the dull dirty knife. "Noooooo please dont hurt my baby please !!!" She begged and cried as she felt the cold slick metal against her abdomin and then the cut. It tore at her flesh shredding it and she screamed. Her with strained couldn't keep the pain slilent any more. He couldn't get deep enough in to her skin.

       He cut again and agian tearing her flesh. She saw the smile on his face the whole time. The sick b*****d was getting off on her pain. On her torture. She screamed and screamed with every cut . Finally he stopped and put the knife down. She thought that would be the worst of it ; then he dove his hands into her body. She could feel his dirty hands inside her stomach slowly removing the organs from her body. Then she heard the cry. Her child. Her baby. He had her child. "Congratulations Carline its a girl. A s**t just like you I bet." The killer said as he held the little girl near her face Smearing it with blood. Her blood. He put the baby near her head so she could see it. I'm soo sorry she thought to her child as the killer grabed on to her chin holding her head straight up.  Then she felt it again th knife still wet from her blood as he continued to cut open her neck and chest.

 

~*~

 

       The hunter felt Carline's blood over his fingers. It felt soo good soo warm. He brought his hand to his mouth just one taste he thought as he tasted her. Caline's life started to slip from her. "Well Carline its been fun really, but i must go now. It's such a shame really i'll miss you unlike anyone else. Well  bye." He told her laughing. Then leaving her to bleed the rest out and die. His task was done she would be dead in a matter of mins. One less sinner. One less w***e the world will have to deal with. He went to the back of the house his cloths covered in blood. 

       Into the woods where no one could see and where an extra pair of cloths, a knive, and a black trash bag was waiting on him. the stupid cops havn't found him yet and they never would. he thought as he changed cloths and put the bloody cloths in the bag and cut his hand so if any blood was left on his body he could just say it was his. With that done he ran to his car parked waiting for him a few miles away.

Author's Note

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Reviews

[Chris]

This chapter is great. It definitely got me hooked onto the story. There were a few typos here and there. Like you put though instead of thought and you forgot the n in candle in the first or second paragraph. One other thing:

"the hunter felt carline's blood over her fingers."

I don't know if you mean her or his fingers in that sentence. I just thought I'd point it out in case it was a typo.

[coldust]

its really tremendous.although effect of proper spacing, formating ,punctuations and all would make it a difference experience alltogether.which unfortunately is not possible on this page. it would also help the readers if you increase the font a little. u gotta lot to achieve!!!

[Raeana]

:D I love it! I hooked!
You should write more books! I would deffently read!

[Kayla]

Hey girl! Love your work, as always. I'm glad to be one of your best friends. And its an honor to help inspire you jsut by talking we inspire each other. Keep up the good work!