Redux

no description

 

Fair game

Fresh meat

Quick drain

Slow bleed

A thousand small cuts

Add up over time

But as you raise the blade again

My voice escapes

"I can take a little more"

 

High peaks

Low sun

New summit

Never done

The streams are as dry

As the rocks in my feet

But whenever you tempt me to turn back

My voice replies

"I can climb a little higher"

 

Hot wind

Black road

Stinging sand

Heavy load

The bayonet is in my back

Promising progress

But as you yearn for me to fall

My voice cries

"I can walk a little further"

 

All dark

All night

So long

Goodbye

No more calls

No more answers

But as you tell me that it’s over

My thoughts answer

"I can wait a little longer…"

Author's Note

let me know what you think, thank you

Reviews

[Marlena]

Interesting, I like how you ended each stanza with a phrase. I thought this was sort of bittersweet, great job.

[Drew Wade]

I like this. I especially like the first four lines of each stanza. This poem is structurally very strong, and I like the last lines, too. good solid effort. I can't find anything to complain about.