London, England

ehh...long, maybe a little transparent.

 

Do you ever regret

That the world isn’t

As big as you need

To find a place to

Get away from everything

And the part you

May have played

In making it

By being part

Of God

 

Does it ever bother

You that nobody

Can ever speak

To you when you

Want to talk because

You only open up

Once you’re damn

Near drowned in

A dark little

Corner of the depths

Of hell late at

Night squinting

To hide the

Horrible sight of

Florescent glare

Off dirty glasses

That piled up like

Check marks on

The list of things

You made to do

Before you die

 

Have you ever

Shaken so badly

That by the time

The room stopped

Moving you saw

That it was still

All along and

You were alone

In a park in an

Unfamiliar country

With the grass

Too damn green

And did it make

You need to throw

Yourself up and

Down into the river

To be carried out

To sea to be

With all the others

Like you who

Wondered aloud

What it was

All about

And found nothing

 

When you rolled

Onto your back

Hoping to drown

Did you stare

Into the inky

Blackness above

Wishing it was

Every bit as thick

As it seemed to you

That desperate night

So that you would

Be crushed under

Something like

A flood of

Molasses

So that the things

You felt on your

Chest and what

Was missing from

Your lungs would

Match more closely

With what was

Actually happening

All around you

 

Did you suppress

A little scream

When you saw her

Coming slowly

Across the flat

Gray smoke on

The water of the

Lake with the

Unnatural green

On all sides around

With the trees and

The silent white

Stones that made

Mourning for those

Taken too soon

Jump to your mind

Even if they

Were just benches

For the lonely

And the lovelorn

And the old

To cling to

When they sought

Small comforts

In their twilight

Hours but even as

They called and called

Their families were

Simply nowhere

To be found

 

Did you think that

She was a ghost

Because she had

No business looking

Like that in a

Solemn cemetery

At eleven in the morning

On a Monday

And did you regret

The way that the

Dark night before

You had hoped

That this blackout

Was the last one

You would ever

Feel creeping up

On you from

Behind like a

Cat burglar or

A raspy breathing

In a strange hotel
Room in a strange

City after a long

And so very strange

Evening in the summer

 

And did she stand

There silently

For a little lifetime

Like the child who

She had come to

Give flowers

To fool him into

Forgetting how alone

He really was out

There in that

Hideous park with

The dew nurturing

The bacterial growth

Of the grass

That turned the place

Into a reeking

Vomitorium

 

And did her subtle

Presence then

Make you never

Want to leave

And so it broke

The awful spell

And made the

Blackened soles

Of your tired

Feet ache for wear

So that at last

Your body matched

The soul it carried

Around all this

Time without purpose

Like a goldfish

In a plastic bag

Waiting for a way

Home while all

The while

Suffocating

 

And tell me

Friend, once that

Spell was broken

How did you

Somehow cope

With all those

Long years wasted

And the way they

Stank up your

Time alone like

Food shoveled into

The garbage by

A spoiled child

And left to

Wait and putrefy

But these things

Carry a much

Stronger stench

Because potential

That sits idle

Goes putrid and

Rots like nothing

Else you’ve ever

Known in this life

Or the next

 

And if you don’t

Mind telling me

Something rather

Personal could

You maybe offer

Your opinion from

One lonely, weary

World-worn traveler

To another and

Tell me straight

Whether it was

Even worth the

Trip and if

The rest of it

Is really all

That it’s cracked

Up to be when

People say we need

To do something to

Protect it from

Ourselves and if

You slept soundly

In your bed at

Home that first

Night you got

Back or will

I lay restless

And awake for

That and every

Other night, reminded

Of the things I did

And saw all those

Years ago for

All my life

Author's Note

please review, i don't really know how this came out