Mementos

weird, but it's got potential

 

I don’t remember ever

ever                     

ever                   

seeing someone

who looked quite so perfect in pajamas

who looked so pretty in pajamas

 

 

 

 

I don’t remember ever meeting anyone

who I could talk to                        

                  who I didn’t have to talk to

who sat on the hood of my car        

                                 and watched the meteor showers

and didn’t need to say a word         

 

 

 

 

I don’t remember ever dreaming of someone

who laughed as loud as you

who made me laugh at funerals               

who got my jokes

who just liked to be alive                                  

like you

 

 

 

 

I don’t remember there ever being someone

 so perfect as you        

who made me laugh

                                on the hood of my car

watching the meteor shower

                after the funeral

     wearing pajamas

                             without even saying a word

like you

Author's Note

"review?" "yes please." how do you like the format? someone who reviewed another one of my poems (i'll put their name up when i look it up) commented that since the words were scattered around you could read them in different orders and get a completely different meaning out of it. so i kept that in mind here.

Reviews

[Freder Fredersen (aka G..]

Format fits the piece. I thought it was perfect for the content. I think it's a brilliant statement about unspoken affection and friendship. Well done!
FF

[Kyler Thomann]

S**t. This format is the best, it really effects the poems overall speed. It forces you to read it really slow, and that is something to strive for. However, the poem didn't go anywhere. Not that it needed to, I like it perfectly the way it is but it seems like it wants so badly to have some sort of random statement thrown in there that just doesn't seem to makes sense until you get the poem as a whole. With a form like this, you can write about anything. You could start writing about fish if you wanted to and it would make sense. Throw some chaos in there.

Keep writing,

Kyler