The 5th Whistle

Whistle one

Just begun

Whistle two

Hit a few

Whistle three

Set the bow free

Whistle four

shoot some more

Whistle five

someone cryed

their breath is short

their heart deprived

gasping in the hot gym air

nurse is absent; one less life to spare

the teachers yell and discuss the harm

and the football coach pulled the fire-alarm

blinking lights and wet faces

runny make-up and bloody braces

his shirt turned from white to red

he coughed and wimpered as he bled

I did try to warn them, that archery = Violence astrew

but they didn't listen until the 5th whistle blew.

 

Reviews

[MusicMartyrs]

wow very creative! :) flows fabulously and rhymes great.

10th line "someone cryed" cryed ---> cried

[Jacqueline]

This sounds like a mini-song.

Haha, well, I'm not sure those exist.
But if they did, this would be a really good one.

I like the way you structured it with no spaces, as if the separates thoughts were ultimately one.
Great use of language and rhythmic structure, too.

[..R.I.P..]

Oh wow! This is fantastic, sad, and thought provoking. Great job.