Black Hole

I used to see the future,

could reach out my hand

and almost taste the sunshine.

But where that was

is now a hole

so wide

so dark

so expansive.

I know nothing else.

Author's Note

I haven't written anything in a while. This piece will probably be stilted.

Reviews

[Clockwork]

In a way, this poem reminded me of how depression can change a life. The concept of the blissful days that came before are swollowed up by the emense gravity of the hard times.

Even if this wasn't you're intended subject, you do a really nice job of contrasting the light with the darkness in this poem. I liked how you shortened your line lengths after the first stanza. Narrowing lines really mirrored the content of the poem. Really well done with this one.

[Diana]

I like your interpretation. I didn't even notice how the lines got shorter. Thank you for bringing that to my attention. Maybe I did it subconsciously...

[floraleverything]

This really hit home for me: well written, concise, and easy to identify with. The extreme contrast of imagery helps convey the endless feeling behind it. Just about anyone can relate to this at some point during their lives. It especially struck me as the transition from childhood to adulthood. I love it. Keep writing. :)
Also, I'd like to add a bit of inspiration that seems to coincide with the sunlight/black hole metaphor. You can't see the stars without the darkness. I'm sure you've already heard that, but its nice to be reminded of.

[Diana]

That's a good reminder. I haven't heard that in a long while, actually. Thank you for your review and stopping to reflect.

[jzadski]

This is an excellent piece. It's a crazy phenomenon how something can take over our thoughts and before you know it becomes all consuming. Great look into something of that nature. Great work!

[Diana]

Thanks, again.

[icelandicblue]

If you are able to look into it it hasn't sucked you in yet. I think all of us who write understand your words on an intimate level.

[Diana]

That's an interesting point, icelandicblue. Thank you for your kind words.

[Wórdsmíth]

I love the words, you`ve used to give a brief to your readers `bout "Black Hole". Many mysteries`re unsaid across the sky--zones... & some stars are already burst out into the darkness to becoming the sunshine. But all are hide or may be fallen into the shadow of black hole. Nice imagery!

[Diana]

Thank you, Wordsmith.

[Sami Khalil]

Reaching far and wide even in its downbeat rhythm. Darkly written but sooo powerful...:).............

[Diana]

Thank you again, Sami.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome....:)...........

[Samuel Dickens]

Not exactly cheerful, but is strong in its message and well-expressed. They say its darkest just before sunrise.

[Diana]

Thank you, Samuel. I am hoping that is true.

[Roger Turgeon]

Short and dark like a demi-tasse of expresso....(I couldn't help it I noticed you have a cup of coffee in your hand) ( : O )

[Diana]

Thank you, Roger. I quite like your simile.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i think you emptied out my heart with this one...no more optimistic future...no sun, only dark thoughts dug down so deeply.

very expressive.

[Diana]

Thank you, Jacob.

[willweb]

Diana, this is so sad and empty feeling, but I know if you reach just a little more you will taste that sunshine once again. I did really enjoy this poem today.

[Diana]

Thanks, willweb.