The Chosen: Chapter 1 - It Has Begun

The New Hampshire country road wound deeply through the heavily forested landscape.  The sun was gradually sinking behind the trees as  the car followed the narrow snaking  road, slowly climbing upwards.  Shadows grew longer, stretching across the pavement and darkening the roadside.  The air outside the open car windows had cooled and taken on the chill of evening.

 

Ella shivered slightly as the cool air rushed in through the open windows, filling the car with the scent of evergreen.  She loved driving with the windows open in the springtime;  letting in the fresh air and the sound of spring peepers along the roadside.  But it was becoming too cold for her inside the car, so she reached for the electric controls, and pressed the window levers, sending all of the windows up.  Her thin t-shirt wasn't doing much to keep her warm, and goose bumps had begun to form on her exposed arms.

  

As Ella's car ascended further up the mountainside, the houses grew farther and farther apart, and the tree limbs now stretched to cover the road, creating a thick canopy above.   Driving under the overhanging branches felt like entering a tunnel that burrowed through the forest. For some, this sensation may have brought on feelings of claustrophobia, or foreboding.  But for Ella, entering the tree-covered passageway brought on feelings of nostalgia, and excitement.  

 

Almost there now.

    

Finally the old wooden mailbox came into view as Ella rounded a bend in the road.  It stood somewhat askew surrounded by a large patch of vibrant Tiger Lilies;  just as she remembered it.  Apparently her father hadn't gotten around to fixing the mailbox yet, which really wasn't surprising, considering he only stayed in the Cabin a couple times a year now.

 

It had been several years since Ella herself had visited her family's Cabin, and she was looking forward to a long weekend of family fun and relaxation.  Who knows, maybe she would even re-live a few cherished childhood memories. 

  

Just don't go into the Loft...

 

The strange and random thought caught Ella by surprise.  It was as if a voice had whispered the words inside her head and the thought was not her own.  

 

Why had she thought that?  

She had loved playing in the Cabin's Loft as a child.  She tried to brush it off,  but part of her felt as if something was desperately tugging at her consciousness, trying to get her attention;  trying to get her to remember. 

 

A feeling of apprehension suddenly filled her, and something teetered right on the edge of her awareness, but just out of reach.   Then the feeling faded as abruptly as it had formed.  She was left with nothing more than a slight sense of deja vu, which she blamed on her charged emotional state due to her return visit to the Cabin.

       

Ella turned her car on to the dirt road, and the gravel crunched beneath the tires.  The bushes and trees were now overgrown, and crowded the long private drive that lead to the Cabin.  Branches scraped the side of her car in places, as she slowly bumped and bounced along the washboard road.  She cringed in response to the sound of the scraping branches, and hoped that they hadn't left any scratches on her car. 

 

As the trees began to open up, a large Log Cabin appeared in front of Ella's car.  It stood in the middle of a clearing, with a commanding wrap-around porch, and an enormous stone chimney.  A wooden bird feeder hung from the edge of the porch roof which was supported by pillars made from massive timbers of Pine. Four empty hand crafted rocking chairs sat on the rustic porch and beckoned to her.  A fond smile formed on Ella's face as she took in the scene.  It all looked exactly as she remembered.

While Ella was gathering all of her bags from her car, her brother Ryan appeared on the porch and hurried down the steps in her direction. 

"Hey Sis!", Ryan called out, a large grin on his face.

"Hi Ryan!", Ella called back.  Seeing his smiling face made the long drive north completely worth it. 

 

Ella dropped her bags on the ground as Ryan reached her with open arms. He grabbed her in a huge bear hug and lifted her completely off the ground.  He was her younger brother, but he wasn't her little brother anymore.  She hugged him back fiercely, as he swung her around in a circle, making her giggle. He loved that he was bigger than she was now, and he loved to remind her of that fact every chance he got. 

                                 

"I missed you.", Ryan said, as he set her down.

    

"I missed you too." Ella said, "How long has it been now, eight months?"  

"Nine actually, but who's counting." 

          

"Well, someone obviously has been." Ella laughed.

"I know you've been busy with school and everything, but did it really have to be that long this time?", the disappointment was obvious in Ryan's voice.

"It's wasn't just school I was busy with Ryan, it was a Thesis paper." Ella said, emphasizing the word Thesis, "There is a big difference, you know that.  It was the last step towards my Masters degree."

Ella knew that it had been hard on Ryan when she had left for college.  He looked to her as almost a mother figure, and even though he understood that getting a degree was important to her, he still must have felt somewhat abandoned when she had left.

"I know, I know... You're Miss Smarty-pants now, aren't you." Ryan joked.

"Yep, that's me." Ella smiled widely, "So, are you going to help Miss Smarty-pants with her bags, or what?"

"Sure thing." Ryan laughed.

As Ella and Ryan gathered up her bags, their father stepped out of the Cabin and onto the covered porch.  When he saw Ella, his face lit up like a child's on Christmas morning.  

"Ella!" He cried, as he rushed from the porch. 

"Hey Dad!" Ella called out, dropping her bags on the ground again.  

Ella embraced her Father, and buried her face in his shoulder.  Holding on to him and smelling his spicy cologne brought her back in time.  She was a little girl again, and he was her Daddy, and that was all that mattered in the world. She felt safe and content.  

"I missed you Dad." Ella said as she pulled away and studied his face.

 

Each time Ella saw her father, he seemed to have grown a few more gray hairs, and gained another wrinkle or two around his eyes.  But he was still a handsome man.  His dark hair was peppered slightly with gray giving him a distinguished look and his kind brown eyes were filled with warmth.  She and Ryan had both inherited their father's dark hair and eyes.  As the three of them stood together in the clearing, there was no doubt that they were related.   

  

"I missed you too sweetheart." Her father said putting his arm around her shoulders and giving her a squeeze, "I am so glad you were able to make it."

"Me too." Ella said.

"Me three." Ryan chimed in cheesily, and they all laughed.

"Well, let's get your bags inside and get something to eat." Ella's father said, "I don't know about you two, but I am starving!"

 After they finished bringing Ella's things into the Cabin, they ate their dinner " cheese burgers, coleslaw and potato chips - out on the front porch.  As they ate, they discussed everything from Ryan's senior year and college prospects, to their Father's work, and Ella's least favorite topics of all, sports and politics.  

 

The sun had gone down completely now, and they sat in three of the rocking chairs, illuminated softly by the porch lights.  Moths swarmed to the lantern-style lights, swirling in an inevitable death spiral, ever closer to the burning bulbs.  Sitting on the Cabin's porch, rocking lazily in the cool evening air, Ella was flooded with childhood memories, and she didn't want the moment to ever end.

Then Ella caught herself staring at the empty rocking chair, and a sickening knot formed in the pit of her stomach.  She almost wished her father had gotten rid of the fourth chair.  Sitting there vacant, the chair was a painful reminder that it's former occupant wasn't present, and that they would never sit there again.  

Like a mirage, she could almost see her mother sitting there, wrapped in her favorite fleece blanket, sipping tea out of an oversized mug.  Ella felt her throat constrict with emotion, and she quickly forced herself to look away, and join the conversation again.

"So, how did your Research Paper turn out Ella?", her father asked.

"Great, I feel really good about it.", Ella said, and then added, "But we'll see how I feel about it once professor Rothenberg has had a chance to pick it apart."  

               

"I am sure it will be just fine.  What was it about again?" 

"Predator-Prey relationships, and how they affect the process of Evolution."     

 

"Sounds riveting." Ryan chimed in with his characteristic sarcasm.

"Ryan.", their father said in a warning tone.

"What? Can you honestly say that sounds interesting at all?" Ryan said with cynicism.   

    

"Yes, I can.", their father answered firmly, and then he said to Ella, "Tell me a little bit about it."  

   

"Oh boy, here we go." Ryan said, throwing his head back and rolling his eyes.

"Ryan." their father admonished him a second time, "We listened to you talk all about your State Championship game, now it's Ella's turn."

"Fine." Ryan said, looking defeated.

"My Thesis is about Coevolution.  It is about the predator-prey arms race that takes place between two different species and the many different and sometimes complicated ways in which those relationships can affect the process of evolution.", Ella explained.

"Not sure I follow.", her father said.

"And that surprises you?", Ryan said under his breath.  

Ella's father chose to ignore Ryan's comment, and didn't acknowledge it, so Ella did the same and started to explain the premise of her Thesis.

"Well, let me give you the classic example of the peppered moth. Originally, the vast majority of the peppered moth population had a light, mottled coloration which was a good camouflage against predators.  Most of the trees had lightly colored bark, spotted with lichen, which allowed the peppered moth to blend right in. Before the industrial revolution, a uniformly dark variant of the peppered moth showed up in the population as a result of a random mutation.  This dark variant made up only 2% of the population.  After the industrial revolution, 95% of the peppered moth population showed this dark coloration."

Ryan yawned widely and Ella couldn't tell if he truly was tired, or if he was just being his normal obnoxious self.  Either way,  she chose to ignore him.  Her father was listening intently, so she continued.

"The best explanation as to why this change in the population occurred is that the light moths lost their survival advantage of camouflage.  As the light bark of the trees were darkened by pollution, the light moths stuck out like sore thumbs and were eaten more frequently by birds.  If the dark variation hadn't already existed in the population, the peppered moth might have been driven to extinction by predation."

Ryan feigned a yawn again, this time stretching his arms up dramatically above him at the same time.  Ella glanced at him for a moment, and she could tell that he was not tired at all.  He was simply protesting her explanation the only way he knew how;  by being annoying.   She continued to ignore him, She looked back towards her father and finished her explanation.  

 

"This is a well known example of Coevolution and one that somewhat simplifies the predator-prey relationship's effect on the process of evolution, but it helps to understand it.  These relationships can be far more complicated than this, and I chose to study one that is very difficult to understand.  Anyway,  in a nutshell,  prey species must adapt and develop countermeasures against predation or they will perish."  

Ella paused for a brief moment and then added,"Most of the time mother nature finds a way and the prey species survives." 

"I think I understand now." her father said, "You definitely sound like you have a real handle on the topic."

"I certainly hope so." Ella said with a small laugh, "I am working towards a Masters in Evolutionary Biology, so I'd better have a pretty good handle on the topic by now.  Otherwise, the past six years of my life have just been a big waste of time." She joked. 

      

"Well, I am very proud of you Ella.  You have worked very hard to get where you are now, and you definitely deserve it." Her father said and there was genuine admiration in his voice.  

Ella felt her cheeks burning.  Her father didn't offer his praise very often, so when he did it had an impact on her.    

"Thanks Dad, that means a lot to me." Ella said.  

                 

"Ok, now that we all have a good handle on the topic, can we change it?" Ryan said, with a impish grin.

Ella playfully threw her wadded napkin at Ryan's head and he ducked. She and her father both laughed, and Ryan's grin grew wider.    

As the evening progressed and the mosquitoes became unbearable, they brought their conversation inside.  It was still spring and the evenings were still a bit chilly, so their father built a small fire in the Cabin's large stone fireplace.  They sat in front of the fire on two cushioned futons. As they talked, Ella felt her eyes growing tired, and her eyelids becoming heavy, but she didn't want to go to bed. Not yet.  She was enjoying the evening far too much to let it come to an end too soon.  

Ella forced herself to focus and struggled to keep her eyes open, as she took in the interior of the Cabin while they talked.  Nothing had changed.  The interior walls were exposed logs which had been sanded smooth and covered with several layers of varnish, so that they appeared almost glossy.  The fireplace was made of smooth river stones of various sizes and shades of gray, and it supported a large mantle of roughly hewn pine.  

The interior of the Cabin was decorated in a woodland theme, with hues of burgundy-red, navy blue and hunter green, and looked like it was straight from a page out of an L.L.bean magazine.  Everything was just as it had been when she was a child, and it filled her with the same cozy feelings it had when she was young. 

Then her eyes were drawn to the wooden ladder that lead to up to the Loft overlooking the living room.  Her gaze slowly traveled up the worn wooden rungs to the dark space above.  As she peered into the blackness above her, a wave of uneasiness washed over her.  The loft suddenly looked like a menacing opening to a cave; a gaping black mouth with railing spindles for teeth.  

And it looked hungry.  

It was an ominous presence, hovering above her, waiting for her.  She shivered.

The same odd feeling she had experienced in the car on her way to the Cabin returned. She had the same strange sensation of being on the brink of remembering something; something part of her didn't want to remember. Something that brought on feelings of anxiety and fear.  

Then, suddenly her father's voice brought her back.

"Ella?  Ella are you ok?" 

Ella looked away from the loft and towards her father, feeling as if she had just emerged from a thick fog.  She struggled to refocus.    

 

"Huh?", Ella mumbled.

 "I said, are you ok?" Her father repeated, with a concerned look on his face.   

     

"Oh, yeah... I'm fine.  I'm just exhausted.  It was a really long drive.", She said as she rubbed the back of her neck wearily.  

Why had the sight of the Loft brought on feelings of fear?  

 "Then you should probably get some sleep now.  I thought we would head out to the lake early tomorrow, if that is ok?" Her father said.  

"Yeah, that's fine.  Wake me up when you get up." Ella said as she stood, and then she added, "Scratch that  Just wake me up a half hour before you want to leave. I am not getting up before the rooster crows like you do." She shot her father a playful smile, and they all laughed.   

They said their good-nights, and Ella headed for her room, feeling more tired than she had felt in a long time.  She would be sleeping in the same bedroom she had always stayed in as a child, and it still contained many of her belongings.  Once in the room, she set her bags on the floor by the bed and stood in front of a small dresser.  She picked up a small picture frame from the dresser, and  stared at the glossy photograph inside.  The look in her eyes became distant and forlorn.  

In the photograph Ella and her mother stood together;  their arms draped over each others shoulder, their smiling faces pressed together, their cheeks touching.  The picture had been taken two months before her mother had been diagnosed;  six months before she had started wearing a bandana on her head to hide her hair loss, and eight months before her face had become sunken and pale.  Ella had pictures of her mother from these later times as well, but she chose to only display the ones from before.  She did not want to remember her mother that way;  it was painful enough as it was.

  

Ella put the picture down, wiping a tear from her cheek, and looked at herself in the mirror hanging above the dresser.  There were dark circles under her eyes and she began to regret having agreed to head to the lake early in the morning. 

She plopped herself down on the old double bed and laid on top of the worn patchwork quilt.  Exhaustion set in.  She was so tired that she debated whether she should change into her pajamas or just sleep in her clothes.  A chorus of crickets and spring peepers serenaded her outside the bedroom window.

As she lay there, Ella felt an abrupt shift in the room's atmosphere.  There was a sudden strangeness in the air that hadn't been there before.

Something wasn't right.

Ella sat up and looked around the room, not sure why she felt that something was wrong.  But she did.  

Then she realized that it had suddenly grown extremely quiet, and that she could no longer hear the crickets outside the window. The air felt oppressive and somewhat ominous.  A rising sense of dread grew within her.  

She stood to look out through the small bedroom window at the clearing beyond.  She wasn't exactly sure what she expected to see, but she didn't see anything in the moonlight other than the small meadow and an ordinary garden shed at the edge of the woods.  She began to feel a little silly, and realized that her exhaustion was probably getting the best of her.  

It was definitely time to get some sleep.  

 

When Ella finally climbed into bed and turned the bedside lamp off, the room was plunged into darkness.  There were no street lights or neighbors' lights in the surrounding woods, so the only source of light in the room was a shaft of faint moonlight streaming in through the room's single small window.  She pulled the soft quilt up over her shoulders, and curled up on her side.  The pillow-top mattress made her feel as light as a feather, and she soon felt herself beginning to drift asleep. 

 

Suddenly a quick flash of light appeared behind her closed eyelids, and she was transported elsewhere.  The chirping crickets and spring peepers were gone.  The quilt no longer covered her, and the soft bed no longer supported her small frame. Instead, she was lying on a hard surface that felt like cold stone.  She was no longer in bed, or in her family's Cabin. Wherever she was, it was very dark and damp, and there was a horrible odor that she couldn't quite place.

 

Oh please no, not again, she thought with horror.  Please, no... 

  

It hadn't happened in many years, but Ella knew far too well what would happen next.  At first she would hear it growling in the distance, and then it would come for her.  And it would speak her name in a voice that shouldn't be possible.

Ella desperately willed her eyes to open, and tried to wake herself.  

Then she realized, as she had years before, that she wasn't asleep, and that her eyes weren't closed.  It was just too dark for her to see anything at all.  

 

Please, not again.  Not again...

Pushing herself up into a sitting position, Ella listened carefully for sounds in the surrounding darkness.  She heard nothing.  The total darkness and silence was like nothing she had ever known.  She could feel the bass drum beat of her accelerating pulse. She stood and reached out into the black void in front of her, not sure if she should try to move or not.  Fear grew within her, spreading like a debilitating poison.  

 

What do I do now?   

As if in response, a deep throaty growl cut through the empty blackness. She froze, and felt panic buzzing in her mind.  

It knew she was there, and It was coming for her.  She needed to move, and she needed to move now! 

Ella began walking forward as quickly as she dared to in the absolute darkness that enveloped her.  She had no idea what lay in front of her and she was afraid that a wrong step might be her last one.  The growling steadily grew louder behind her and became more imposing.  

It sounded angry. 

Picking up her pace, Ella decided that getting away from the thing as fast as possible was more important than worrying about what might lie ahead. She would rather take her chances with whatever dangers might lie in front of her, than allow the nameless thing to reach her.  She kept her arms out in front of her as she moved quickly through the dark.

 

As she was walking swiftly, Ella felt her foot slipping on the hard surface below, and she felt her body falling backwards through the blackness. 

 

She fell hard, hitting the firm ground beneath her with such force that it knocked the breath out of her lungs.  Staring up into the nothingness, she gasped for air.  The lack of light was disorienting, as if up could be down, and down might be up.  It felt as if the space around her was tilting, and shifting.  

 

Moisture quickly seeped into her clothing, and she realized that the surface she was lying on was wet...

With what she hoped was just water.  

As she struggled to push herself up, her hands slipped on the slick surface, and she fell back down again.  Suddenly she could feel its presence nearby, and she could smell it now; the putrid stench of death. 

 

It was very close now.  

A warm blast of moist air suddenly hit Ella in the face, and with it came an overwhelming rancid odor of rot and decay.   She froze instantly, realizing that what she had felt on her face was the thing's breath.  It was too dark to see it, but it was right there hovering over her in the darkness, as she lay helpless on the ground. 

 

Absolute terror consumed her.  Her fear was so complete and overwhelming, that it was akin to pain.  The body handles intense fear the same way it handles severe pain;  it shuts down.  And her body seemed to be doing exactly that. She felt herself almost slipping away, as if she were leaving her body.

It snarled at Ella fiercely and another exhalation of fetid breath assaulted her face.  She flinched, and held her breath.  Then the growling began to change, and seemed to be attempting the cadence of speech.  At first it was awkward and unintelligible, but then slowly words began to emerge from the incoherent growling. 

 

 Ellaaa... Youuu... should not... be hereeee. 

Something primal inside of Ella recoiled at the sound of the guttural voice.  The voice sounded wrong, as if it should not be;  as if its very existence defied the laws of nature.  Frozen with horror, she felt herself slipping away again, and part of her welcomed the sensation with open arms.  

Youuu... cannottt... stop usssssss...  

                           

Ella closed her eyes tightly and braced herself for what she knew was coming.  There was nothing she could do now except steel herself to die, and pray that it would be quick. 

Weee... will... find youuuu... 

 

The voice was full with murderous intent.  Ella cringed as tears slipped from her closed eyes.  

 

Then there was an abrupt flash of light behind her eyelids, and everything changed again.  The cold wet surface beneath her was replaced by a soft mattress.  The malevolent growling voice was gone, and all she could hear was the sound of crickets and spring peepers.  The horrifying smell had also vanished. 

 

She opened her eyes slowly, just a slight crack at first, and found herself staring up at wooden ceiling beams. She was back in the Cabin.  The bedroom was illuminated by soft moonlight, and it held no vestiges of the horrible place she had been in just moments before.  She exhaled slowly, and sweet relief filled her like the rush of a drug.

 

Then a frightening realization crept into her mind like a hungry parasite, and fed on her feelings of relief.  Soon those sweet feelings had been consumed and were gone.  And they were replaced with a sense of foreboding. She somehow knew that it was not over, and that she was not safe.  It would happen again.

 

All she could think about was how wrong she had been. Years ago she had convinced herself that the episodes she was experiencing were simply night terrors, and nothing more.  After all nothing had ever happened to her during the episodes, and they had eventually stopped. She had assumed it was just a phase she had been going through, and that she had grown out of it. 

She knew now that she had been wrong;  dead wrong. 

They weren't nightmares, and it wasn't a phase she had simply grown out of.  The episodes were very real and it wasn't over. 

 

Somehow Ella knew that she was in grave danger, but she had no idea how she could explain this to anyone.

Author's Note

This is Chapter 1 of an unfinished novel. Please provide feedback!! I will add Chapters as they are written, so stay tuned....

Reviews

[matrixmark]

The opening scene had me thinking of blair witch 2 (i believe they did an opening scene just as your writing has described.) Really good attention to detai and was easy on the eye. and again the attention the attention to little details were apparent in the second paragraph - ie just the mention of goosebumps gives thr reader a vlear picture at just how cold it was..
As a matter of fact as it moved on, i really did feel as if i was travelling in the carcwith Ella.

Just dont go in the loft - i like how you subtely do this and of course it will have thr reader wanting to know about the loft. I happen to do the same trick - it works.
'Bounced along the washboard road' - NICE!.

The whole scene was nicely crafted and in particular with the branches swooping down - it gave me such a feel for thr place and was most certainly hooked in.
The following dialogue worked really well and the speeches were great opener - a definate natural flow.to them.
The loft - brilliant. I was so hoping youd do something with it. It was really well described and really did feel like entering into some kibd if dragons lair.
The peppered moth - interesting to read about. Adding to the already great details you have given..
Again, little details.....the sound of crickets out side thr room as ella lay her head down for the night - really works well to set the scene.
And then came that feeling from before. Tou really did build ot up to a degree that i was desperate for ellas weird feeling to come along again and it sure did. And it came with a BANG.
I was sooooo impressed with the way in which you built up and built up and kept on building the pragraphs until finally it spoke. It really was riveting to have read, the fact that you drew it out for so long was quite an achievement and not one part of it felt like 'filler' words.

I have become so hooked on this piece and really am looking forward to reading what adventures are in store for Ella next. It was capitivating, a joy to read, fulled with tension, grat character building and those little details.
If i could add anything - play with the fire a little bit - maybe create some shadows within it. I' m sorry i cant explain it better bit i think you may get the gist of what i am saying. Its just a suggestion, thats all.
What a read!!!


Mark.

[Norbanus]

Yes, agents and editors will reject a manuscript after reading only the first five pages.

Or, at least so says Ora Rosalin and Noah Lukeman, who have each written excellent books on the subject of what it takes to get your first novel past the agent or the editor. Make no mistake about it, readers will reject a novel on the same basis.
.
What does this have to do with you delightful scene setting and description of that New Hampshire country road leading up the mountainside over a dirt road, where gravel crunched beneath the tires, to the large cabin with its wrap around porch?
Let's take a look at it as suggested by Rosalin.
First, she says you need to place a hook.
You certainly did that with:
Just don't go into the Loft...
It's a little wordy, with the word 'Just' in front of it, but it absolutely is an excellent hook.

Opening the story:
The readers had to slug through six hundred sixty-six words of super descriptive prose before we get to the mumdane but realistic dialogue between her and her family. But, no story action yet.

2. Introduce the protagonist:
Did we learn enough about Ella? We sure did! A little Nostalgia, and déjà vu coupled a clear picture of her relationship with her brother and father. That and the little backstory about her mother is all we need at this point in the story.

Point 3 of Rosalin's first chapter investigation:
Life like examples are fine, but we need a little story line excitement in this first chapter to let the reader know what sort of adventure we are working up to. Here we have the ominous loft and the dream(or vision) scene, but nothing else.
4. Here Rosalin didn't give us much advice, just re-emphasized the importance of point 3.
5. Establish the tone of the story:
Geez…If this is the tone of the story, it's in big trouble. So far it seems like a boring description of the New Hampshire countryside and a vague hint that something might be coming up later.

You have a story beginning here with lots of potential, and you have set an excellent hook. I can't wait to read chapter 2 to find out how you bring this story to life.

A good tightening to reduce repetition, and wordiness will help.
Here's an example of what I mean:
'Branches scraped the side of her car in places, as she slowly bumped and bounced along the washboard road. She cringed in response to the sound of the scraping branches, and hoped that they hadn't left any scratches on her car.'

'She bumped and bounced along the washboard road, cringing in response to the sound of branches scraping the sides of her car.'

[D.M. Knight]

I appreciate the feedback. I will definitely be working on the repetition, as this is something that I know I need to work on.

Please be aware that this is technically not the first chapter. There is a Prologue which sets the "foundation" for this story. So, if Ora Rosalin's "rules" are to be applied, perhaps it would be more appropriate that they be applied to the Prologue? Just a thought.

[Norbanus]

Ah yes, I've discovered the prologue, and I am nit-picking my through it, with a different idea mind.

Cheers,

Norbanus