Chapter Four: Grave Attentions.

Chapter 4

                I think to myself that I probably should go back to the crematory and try to find that guy. Something deep down drives me to go there and see what happened with him. It’s now the middle of the night, the place won’t be open.  I go anyways and after a short run I get there. I head towards to where I first saw the man. Sure enough, there he was. Just a dark figure highlighted by a blue glow coming from his hand. He sees me and yells out.

“I knew you would show up, your ego wouldn’t allow you to stay home.”

“Well maybe I came for my parents.”

“Well your dad is over there.”

There hanging from a tree was my dad. His body was outlined by the stunning moonlight.

“And my mom?”

“Over there in that empty grave.”

“Is she alive?” A slight feeling of actually caring.

“Yes. But not for long if you don’t tell me why you have that strength.”

“I really don’t know.”

“I don’t believe you, but I will find out using my way of knowing.”

“Which is?”

“Hold out your hand towards me.”

I hesitate. But I do it, there is no harm. The man pulls something from his pocket and places it in his palm. He opens his hand; the moonlight hits a golden ring in the center of his palm. The ring shots from his hand and floats there for a few seconds. Suddenly it comes towards me, and slides on to my finger. A burst of power surges through me. I black out. The man walks up to me and says:

“Looks like I found fourth horseman. “

Reviews

[Bellamorte]

I like this. The way you close the chapter makes me wanna read onto the next one.
Like I always say, I think you could do with adding in a bit more narrative and detaill.

[∂αʌ<..]

i think its a good chapter..just the right thing to keep you reading the next one...

Very nice chapter. i like the story as a whole. Being picky I would say to give the characters a bit more detail and expand. But thus far it is all good.

[Balls:)]

:) wow. :)
wow :) this is great :)

[Little Abbey]

Very nice!

[CharlesMonroe]

This is amazing :O I can't wait to hear the rest!!!!

[Vanessa Rico]

All right I will not go into too much detail like I did in the last chapter...again this is REALLY short...There are not that many details...if you added someone describing the graveyard or what Mars is feeling, I think that this could be even better. Still I am intrigued as to where this is going!

[StarNinja]

Or you could say, "Looks like I found MY fourth horseman." Even better.

[Krystal Nicole]

Absolutely outstanding!! You leave me wanting more! Excellent. Cant wait to read more!!!!!!

[Bailey C. Writing]

“Looks like I found fourth horseman. “
*the fourth
:p

This was pretty awesome. I really want to know what happens next. The fourth horseman...hmmm.
You're a pretty good writer :)