Chapter Two: A peaceful place

Chapter Two:

This was a strange day for me.  I walked through the local crematory. This place wasn’t creepy to me at all, it was calming. My name is John Fisher, but most people called me, Mars. It was a nickname my mother gave me, never knew why.  I’m a typical eighteen age old boy, blonde hair, blue eyes, and a pretty muscled body. Through I do seem to scare people sometimes. I feel I have a bit of darkness in me. Whatever, guess what makes me special. I live with my “parents”. I don’t think they are my real ones, they seem to love and care about just less than my friend’s ones. They seem afraid of me too. I really don’t care either way. I have trouble caring about people. I don’t feel like their equals. I have friends at school, but more enemies. I pick fights with people all the time, no one can beat me. I feel invincible most of the time.

I walk around the crematory, looking at trees and all the neatly filed graves. I smirk. Death is so well organized. You die, you get bury, and you are done. No cares, no worries, you are just dead. Well at least that’s what I think about the subject.

I stop and sit. A hooded man approaches me. I’m always ready for a fight. He stares at me. I yell at him,

 “What are you staring at?”

“A little brat of a kid.”

That fired me up.

“I wouldn’t say stuff like that to me, sir, I’m not afraid of anyone.”

“I’m nothing you can stand against, just move along you little pest.”

That’s when things boiled over. I swing at him, striking a blow in his chest. He doesn’t move. I’m shocked he didn’t fall to the floor, that was barely using my strength, but it normally got the job done. His face also had shock, like he couldn’t believe I actually hit him and made him hurt.

“Who are you, kid?”

“None of your business.”

He goes to grab me, I go off on him. Full strength. He flies back. I run off. I can’t believe I made him fly that far back. I run and run till I get home.

Unknowingly to me, the man gets up. Dusts himself off and fixes the ring on his hand. A beautiful glowing blue ring.

Reviews

[CharlesMonroe]

I like how this ends :O I'm really excited to hear more :D

[Amanda Naomi]

ok well you have the concept going, but you need to work on your grammer...especially your tense...you shift from past to present a few times, nothing a quick edit won't fix.... sometime you gotta read it aloud to yourself before you post....