Chatper One: Thunder

Thunder boomed and lightning flashed outside the window. It was another terrible day to be alive, he thought. He sat on his bed and surveyed the darkened room. Why was it, every time he had a break something just as messed up came along? Everyone at school hated him. He wasn’t sure why or how it came to be. But this was his life and every minute he enjoyed it.

He wasn’t a masochist or a sadist. That was the last thing on his mind. Yet why was it, he always seemed to gain pleasure from watching others in pain. That was the thing he never quite understood. His parents were never around, yet whenever they were, they tended to stay clear away from him. His mother was the only one who somewhat understood him. She would talk to him, which was something. His father, on the other hand, said nothing and went about his day without even looking at him.  He didn’t really care, just as long as he graduated high school and left the house he lived in.

The rain pounded against his window. He looked toward the dark light seeping through curtains. He scowled. If only the damned weather would stop, it always put him in a bad mood. He hated the rain and lightning. Especially the lightning, it irritated him immensely to see the bright light and the sound accompanying with such dramatic weather. He wanted the sun to appear and drown and dry the rain away.

The door opened and a soft voice spoke through the shadows, “Mars, you’re still awake? I thought you would be asleep by now.”

“Mom,” he said without turning away from the window, “I can’t sleep; you know it’s always like this when it rains. I get so angry when there’s lightning.”

“I know, son. It’s just…nothing.”

“What?”

“I got a call from your teacher today; he said you were at it again. You were terrorizing another student again, weren’t you?”

“No.”

“Don’t lie to me,” she said with a whisper.

“Mom, can I ask you a question?”

She said nothing.

“Are you afraid of me?”

Author's Note

Written By Amber Eve Surdam

Reviews

[Amanda Naomi]

i have a question, and i know i'm gonna be oober annoying and nit picky thoughout this whole thing and if you want me to stop i will, but are you mixing greek with roman by naming the kid mars?? is it intentional or accidental that they are two similar yet vastly differnt mythologies?

[Daydreamer54]

I love this and how you modernized the gods and godeeses! i'm a fan of greek mythology! So i'm guessing this kid is supposed to be zeus.

This is a good chapter. I am reading this backward (sorry) doing my rr s that way. If I may make a suggestion. You state in each chapter that the parents are afraid of Mars. Instead of stating in chapter 2 or three, give an example. Make the reader feel that fear. Or at least make the reader feel sad for the parents. The story is a good one. Let each chapter lead into the next with a little less crossover. Not sure if I made sense. Keep up the good work!

[Bailey C. Writing]

Very good! Well written, descriptive with good imagery, and left me wanting more. You've got a good basis here.

[Vanessa Rico]

I adore mythology and understand that you both know the difference between Greek and Roman mythos. As for this story, I read anything and everything that deals with mythology, so I loved this so far! Both of you are talented...the only thing I can say is that this is short for a chapter. Most chapters are around 2500 to 5000 words. That being said, you can take this story from good to AWESOME by adding details and more of the setting and that type of stuff. I will continue to read!! Still, great job you two!

[the in between]

What did the mom answer? Great start, but I want to know more about the setting.

[Balls:)]

yeowza...
:)

[CharlesMonroe]

I like this alot actually :D it's strange how your mixing it but I actually kinda like it (:

[A.E. Surdam]

Intentional. I liked it, and so did Derek. Soooo, we just went with it. It's okay, your opinions are valued. :)