Where Did LOVE Go?

You live...you lust...you toil and then...one day... you sense you're missing something...

Where Did Love Go?

 

Where does the Love go?

Do you ever sit and look back at your life

and wonder about that?

We were young,

optimistic,

In love;

our future unknown.

We were unafraid,

confident

...our own ideal.

 

I wonder if it was all about getting laid;

that what we called Love, in fact, was lust

and it enflamed us

every moment for months.

We assumed we were

made for each other;

that these feelings would be

the wind in our sails

that propelled us into

old age

...together

 

Did I neglect?...not try hard enough?

Was I indifferent?...selfish?

New love is so tender,

...so vulnerable.

It takes years of careful attention

and mutual sacrifice

for love to become hardy and lasting.

Where is ours?

Where is the frenzied beating of our hearts?

Where is the desperate need?

When did the essence of her soul stop touching mine?

Love was there and then gone.

I didn't feel it go.

No subtle breeze as it passed

No slamming of the door

to make me wonder, "Who just left?"

It just dissipated like the darkness in the dawn

and left me alone

...with my heart.

 

Well...not really alone.

Not physically alone,

for she is still here.

We live a life together;

do all the things married people do.

I don't want to leave.

What if Love returns

after seeing the error of her ways

Comes back...repentant...like the Prodigal?

I've spent my life watching...waiting

to hear the door open and hear Love say, "I'm back!"

...I'm still waiting.

 

Longing is so crippling!

We can spend a lifetime

looking for a single scintillating beam of light

to bring a few moments of glorious color

to a lifetime of gray existence.

Iridescent blues...

inflammatory reds...

Soothing, pastoral greens...

invigorating yellows...

a few moments of sensory rapture

compared to a lifetime of relative

numbness.

Is it worth it? I mean

...is Love all that it's cracked up to be?

 

Don't get me wrong...I've not been idle.

I've settled.

Sooner or later, we tire of expecting the dream

and settle.

We work...achieve...paint the house...take out the trash

Consecrate...propagate...procreate

But the question remains,

"Is one in the hand really better than two in the bush?"

This wisdom is true

only if the two flying free are

forever beyond our grasp,

but I held Love once...in my two hands. I know

...I want it back!

 

I want a love whose loveliness inspires me

...to take another breath

...to take another step

...to rise in the morning

and retire at night.

...that makes my heat ache with her absence

and race in anticipation of

her return.

...whose touch electrifies me

and whose smell evokes memories of impassioned nights

that we prayed would

never end.

...Whose voice calms me.

...whose breath smells like butterscotch

and feels hot on my skin.

I will bask in the summer warmth of her smile

and in my exuberance

Shout from the rooftop,

..."I AM LOVED!"