Crush

Our first crush we remember forever...

Crush

 

I see her every now and then

by chance...or by design

when we show up at the same places.

There is a warmth between us

that is unspoken...

unexplored.

She is older than I

only by three years or so...

(an eternity when you are thirteen).

She is beautiful...

dark hair...

olive skin...

full lips...

and a smile that is radiant.

She was my first infatuation as a lad...

Thoughts of her made me wake more than once...

to a puzzling dampness

in my bed.

 

I saw her in her underclothes once

as I horsed around in the dark

playing hide and seek in the snow

with my cousins and friends.

I saw the light go on

in the bedroom

and I stopped and watched from

a snow-covered pile of stone

on my uncle’s patio.

There she was.

She was just changing into some

warmer clothes.

It was the first time I had ever

seen a woman (other than Mom and my sisters)

in their smalls.

...a gift from God...

I watched...spellbound

steaming in the cold.

 

Her underclothes were unremarkable

by today’s standards

This was long before Victoria’s Secret had become

every young boy’s inspirational

catalog of choice.

My thrills then came from Sears and Roebuck

But she was living...breathing...

this was the first time I had

ever seen them MOVING!

Her bra and underpants were plain and

white...but she filled them well.

She never removed them although

I was hoping she might.

Our only experience together only lasted

for as long as it takes to

change from one outfit to another.

She never saw me out there

bathed in the light from the room

with a silly grin

on my face

 

No...we never got together. She dated my

brother and married my friend.

We never spoke of a young boy’s

infatuation or of what thrilled

me those cold moments

(although, I never remember the cold).

Half our lives have passed since that night...

We are still friends

We’ve never shared

of any of this but we both sense it.

Every time we meet we light up.

Hugs are few and far between

but when they happen...they always linger...

longer than most.

our lips have never touched

but I’m always tempted by the thought of it.

She always seems pleased to see me

and laughs at my jokes.

She always leans into me and whispers..

and when she does...

I smell her perfume.

I tell her she’s beautiful

and she lets me.

 

Oh, the beauty of a young boy’s crush...

that pure love he lavishes

on the object of his sweet, sweet thoughts...

unencumbered by the crippling desire 

to possess what you’ve tasted

...and the baggage that brings.

unrequited and will likely endure

the rest of my life the same way...

unconsummated...

unsullied by the stresses and strains of

...a life together

undiminished by under-appreciation.

Whenever I see her, I am once again filled

with the innocent exuberance

of a young boy in love...

 

...for the very first time.

Reviews

[Ed Hart]

ah, to be innocent and guilty at the same time...thanks for putting a little campfire in my day

[FlawedByDesign]

A great write my friend. A lot of us, once boys, can relate. I think it is healthy to have such a person in ones life, as long as the relationship remains nothing but an unspoken one and not acted upon. I love the references to the dampness, the catalogs, etc. Very well put into words and telling how it is.

Nicely done.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

how delicate and beautiful your tenderness in memories reopened with such touching detail~

[Bubo]

Oh, the beauty of a young boy’s crush...
that pure love he lavishes
on the object of his sweet, sweet thoughts...

Such a beautiful piece, full of memories of a young girl that aroused every emotion inside a young impressionable boy.........your descriptions are stunning, mouth watering, almost as if I am standing beside seeing this. No, we never forget.